Entries from May 2008 ↓

As we moms reflect back on our years of parenting this Sunday, I am sure many of us conjure up all sorts of “the crap I’ve been through for you” memories, followed by a whole lot of “but it was all so so worth it” sentiments. We remember those younger less lumpy bodies of ours, Saturday nights out with friends and Sundays asleep on the couch. Irons were left out. Plugs were uncovered. And I could actually put a full glass of water on the living room coffee table and find it untouched an hour later. We moms all mourn the loss of our cute tiny purses with room for just keys and a cell phone. We mourn the loss of our clean, uncrackered cars. We mourn the terrible loss of our super cute, skinny jeans. (Call it denial, but mine are still tucked away. It could happen.)

But WHO cares right? Honestly. Talk about small mr. potatoe heads in the grand scheme of it all.

I shake my head as I write this because I can’t believe I am about to celebrate the 5th year since I became a mother. What a night that was. He wasn’t breathing. Everything hurt too much. He was evacuated across town to Children’s Hospital. In a fog of pain killers and sleep aids for the next few days, I heard words like “dark spot on his MRI”, “don’t get your hopes up” and “Cerebral Palsy”. But on the 11th day, my miracle boy was healed, fine, and sprung from the NICU. We drove him home quietly, quickly but carefully - like we had stolen a priceless Egyptian artifact and gotten away with murder.

Now we have two. For real, they beat me down and take me to my brink. They light saber me, body slam me, beam balls off my head, and snuggle me into obvlivion. I am mess of blond, apple sauced hair; snotty, wrinkled shirt; my bag is GI-NORMOUS (containing three square meals, games, books, and medicinal aids)… and I will admit it - you might find poop under my nails. The white stuff is definitly Balmex though.

But today, as we walked across the parking lot of my 4 year old’s school, T. took my hand and gave me a huge smile. Then he led me to his classroom where we had “muffins for moms”. Right away at my seat, I found a little yellow flower and a small pink booklet just for me. Inside were adorable crayon drawings and careful lettering declaring his sentiments and 4 year old love.

And what did he write when the booklet had a space for “The prettiest thing about my mom is her…” Did he actually think of a physical trait? Did my feminist boy-wonder chalk up my beauty as something you could see? Did he buy into the hype and say something like “her long shimmering hair” (granted my hair is neither long nor shimmering…). No. Not my miracle, walks-on-water son. In the space next to the phrase “the prettiest thing about my mom is her…” he wrote in careful letters: heart. MY HEART.

Stick a light saber in me, I am done. That’s all I needed. Why am I stopping with just two children? Am I completely insane??? Children fill every corner of this world with light, joy and wonder! They are the most delicious wonderful nuggets of love; I mean, how did I even GET the CONCEPT of love before they got here!? What purpose did I have before nursing, spoon feeding and now cutting up pizza for a child?? The poop under my nails means they are healthy! They are thriving! Shout it from the rooftop of my mega super Target!

I LOVE BEING A MOM!!!!!!

My sweet little pink mother’s day booklet.

Unlike myself, many of you may already have a clue and know all about Randy Pausch. He is a college professor at Carnegie Melon who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in September, 2006. He is also a father, husband and now author of a book called “The Last Lecture”. After being diagnosed with cancer, Randy thought up the concept of The Last Lecture for his students; he wanted to teach them how to about appreciate, enjoy and live life to it’s fullest. His “Last Lecture” was posted on Youtube for Carnegie Melon students unable to attend this class. However, this lesson did not stay within the confines of that University. The Youtube link was shared and emailed and posted until he was teaching his lesson to thousands worldwide. I finally got a clue a few weeks ago when I learned all about him thanks to Diane Sawyer and her ABC interview with him.  Almost 2 years later, he has more than just students, more than just fans – he practically has disciples.

Oh wait… You don’t have a clue about this guy?

Close your office door, turn off the phone and take some time to GET ONE.

But here’s what I am really posting about. While my husband and I watched this interview, we saw something he did with his kids every night. It’s very simple. He asks his kids two questions:

What was the best part of the day?

What was the worst part of the day?

Huh. What a cool idea. So my husband and I have adopted this routine with our oldest son who is almost 5 years old. And guess what? We have learned gobs and gobs more about our son’s day than we ever did before. I’m not sure what it is. I ask my kid in the car ride home about his day. I ask him at dinner. I ask him when we take off his shoes. How was your day? NOTHING. But at night, when he is clean, cozy and ready for bed – and eager for one last snuggle that he doesn’t want to end quite yet - he is happy to answer these two questions.

And it also gives my husband and I a much needed kick in the ass. Oh yeah. What WAS the best part of our day? Yeah, there WERE good parts. That’s right! And there were bad parts. And its good to share those too. But if that was the worst part… eh… life ain’t THAT bad. It’s like I learn that the glass is half full and half empty at the same time - but I am just glad I got that glass in the first place.

Amongst the other profound life lessons, concepts, and tips I have learned from Randy Pausch, I thank him for that very simple one.

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”

The Last Lecture:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo]

Permanent:
I did it. I put an Obama ’08 bumper sticker on the back of the Momvan, MOSTLY to reassure MYSELF this nomination is not going to be stolen.

I read Queen of Spain’s post and I am so jealous. *I* want to put a bumper sticker on my car. I have zero car vanity issues, Florida needs to see democratic support, I am 100% ready to do it. But I won’t. Not quite yet.

Why not? I mean, yeah, Obama is the man – no doubt. His sticker belongs on the dusty bumper of my Saturn for sure, I’ve got a spot all picked out. And that’s something because it wasn’t always Obama. At the start, I wanted to make sure we got someone experienced in there who knew what he or she was doing. I wanted smart, not just cool. I wanted a known commodity, someone who had a real plan – who might even “be ready on day one”. And a women’s college graduate? I mean, duh, Hillary seemed a shoe in for my vote. And she even got it during that Florida primary. Remember that primary that didn’t count for jack? Yup, I still showed and flew my Hillary colors.

But I guess its a good thing it didn’t count. Because now I feel like the insane politicking and the creepy Clinton mafia thing has kind of gotten in the way. She’s always been a little calculating but now its kind of starting to freak me out.

And Obama represents so much hope for this country. He is smart. He’s got an amazing plan. He is something we have never seen before; he is honest, in touch and a true leader. He will turn it around for us. I know it.

But here’s the thing. Its not so much that I want to put his sticker on my car. I want to put THE DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE on my car. I want our party unified and moving forward. And right now it feels like our country has three parties: The Obamacans, The Hillaryats, and The McCainians. And while The Obamacans and The Hillaryats slowly circle each other in gladiator fashion with their audience frothed for a blood letting, McCain is slickly doing his thing and he is getting away with it. While we are all fixated on who is interviewing which democratic candidate this week (O’Reily? Olberman? The View?), McCain is hardly being called to the carpet on boo. Enough already. We Democrats have gotten caught up in the glamour of this and have become a little too self confident. We know we have two cool candidates and we assume its just a matter of which one of OURS will win. IS IT?

Come ON already. I am not an Obamacan. I am a democrat. And I want to proudly slap that democratic candidate’s sticker on my car and parade it around. While Obama seems to be my man, I will 100% back whoever gets the nomination. Let’s find our person, let’s all get behind him or her and focus our attention and resources on beating McCain. Not each other. Sheesh.