Entries from August 2008 ↓

Edwards cheated on his wife, Elizabeth. I know this is days old news by now but just give me a minute to vent.

That bastard.

When I found out, I was practically seething. (I think know I even used too many yelling caps on my comment to PunditMom while responding to her post on the topic.) I am profoundly disappointed, disillusioned and disgusted.

That jerk. That two-timer. He was supposed to be one of the good guys!

But why am I so mad about this?

Edwards wasn’t even my choice for the democratic nominee. And get this! Ironically, I actually never DID trust him. He seemed too nice, too good-looking, too sweet and gentle. I couldn’t believe a pretty-boy like that was everything he said he was. Nice huh? Good job, Caroline. Way to discriminate against a candidate because he was TOO good-looking. Still, I didn’t trust him. I trusted his wife 100%, no problem there - but I never trusted him. 

And yet, there were so many great points he made, he stood up for the working class, and he really had an amazing campaign. So many people were on the Edwards truck. I assumed they must have known something about him that I didn’t. And his wife, brilliant in her own right, was battling breast cancer. If there was one man who could sympathise with women’s health care issues, it SHOULD be him.  So, agreeing that his politics were sound, I established him as a good-guy and opened my mind to what he had to say.

So let’s get back to the cheating part. A politician cheating is certainly nothing new. And we have had plenty of politicians cheat before – democrats in particular. Um, one or two have even been president at the time. And honestly, I don’t particularly care about a person’s private business. Their ability to run a country is what should matter, correct? So, again, this shouldn’t surprise me or set me off quite like it did. 

But it did. The rat-bastard.

And I’ve been thinking about this a little bit so, from my little blog to you, let me share my thoughts.

A far cry from the 90′s decade of Clinton’s infidelities, we now have You Tube, camera phones, video cameras, security cameras, wi-fi – big brother is out there watching our every move. Any celebrity or politician in his or her right mind can’t even pick their nose in public without assuming it might end up on you tube or become the latest breaking news banner across the bottom of our TV screens.

HOW did Edwards think he could get away with this?

After much debate in my mind over this particular issue, I can only assume Edwards had this affair due to one of the following reasons.

(A) His ego is so enormous, he thought he was too smart to get caught. So he’s stupid.

(B) He was performing some sort of political suicide, hoping he’d be caught, hoping his career would be ruined. So – yes, he needs some psychological help – but he’s stupid for not just bowing out in the first place.

(C) His penis is his number one priority. So he’s extra extra stupid.

(D) He’s just plain old stupid, nothing more, nothing less.

And making such a (I’ll say it again, twice) stupid stupid decision, well, doesn’t that just kick the legs out from under his entire campaign? He really tried so hard to come across as the nice guy, the family guy, by his wife’s side, caring about morals and standing up for blue-collar America. Did he REALLY care about those issues? Because if he did, I do think he could have been strong enough and made the choice NOT to cheat. I really do. Because when Edwards decided to go along with that affair, and take the chance that he did, he put his entire campaign at risk. Ultimately, he made his penis priority over all of working America and, I think, nullifying his entire platform.

That bastard. Seriously Edwards. We got way bigger issues to deal with than your penis. WAY BIGGER.

But I’ve got to get over this. Plus I am struggling with the other major contradiction in my mind. I forgave Clinton. I did. I could care less what he did with Monica. I thought he was a great president. Sure, he had has significant huge ego issues and he certainly never considered he would ever get caught. But I forgave him, I moved on, the economy was good, we weren’t at war, all was well. If I forgave Clinton, the actual president at the time, then I sure as sugar better forgive Edwards. Right?

I keep going back to Julie Pipperts’ post about her top ten reasons why she is over this affair. When I start getting worked up, I go back there and calm myself down. That’s right. Who cares who he sleeps with. That’s between him and Elizabeth. Let’s get on with the issues at hand right now: health care, the war, the economy, oil, supreme court justices and getting Obama elected.

And finally, let’s also not forget that Elizabeth has forgiven him. If anyone has a say over whether he should or shouldn’t be forgiven, it is her. If she says we should get over it, then we should.

But can I just say this?

Edwards, ya rat-bastard, you better be spending every single ounce of energy you have right now taking care of your wonderful wife. She forgave you and you should be extraordinarily grateful. If you weren’t able to make your campaign and – more importantly – your marriage the priority over this affair before, please please do right by her NOW will you?

In the spirit of Blogger Karma (my new found religion, I swear to you), it’s important I “blog it forward” a bit right now. So bear with me, I’ve got two bits of bloggng karma work to do.

First of all, the wonderful Florinda decided to give me my first bloggy award. Deep blushes and deepest of thanks. Now I will admit that I (still a wee novice blogger waiting for her copy of Blogging For Dummies to arrive) am still not sure how to get that award pasted onto my home page (and if anyone knows, give me a shout-out). BUT! At least it’s posted above and I can at least do the rest.

(*UPDATE* Copy code and paste. Yup. I got my brain cells fired back up and figured out how to paste the award to my page. So “brilliant” of me, huh?)

It’s now my turn to nominate seven blogs who I feel should also enjoy such an award. As Florinda explained, here are the rules:

1. Put the logo on your blog (see above).
2. Add a link to the person who awarded you (it’s in this post – see above).
3. Nominate at least seven other blogs (see below).
4. Add links to those blogs on your blog (done in the nominations).
5. Leave a message for your nominee on his or her blog (to be done as soon as this post goes up, so I can leave the link too!).

I decided to nominate women who are talented bloggers but also just “good people”. These bloggers may not live a blogger’s “Dooce“-like high life, but they are 100% worthy of some good blogger karma. Here are my choices, in no particular order.

1) Art, Like Bread: Cami has created a wonderful blog about crafting in her daily life. She lives in Mexico and has endless amounts of inspiration around her. Her easy, approachable, “even us regular folk can be crafty” style is very much appreciated and inspirational. I read her blog and want to toss my computer aside and go make some art, dammit!

2) Deep Muck, Big Rake: I have been a fan of Becky’s since I started waaay back (in March 2008). She reviews books, she’s a journalist, she lives in Florida (like me), she’s a mom (also like me), and she get’s it.

3) Dirt & Noise: I check in with Ilina almost everyday. A hysterical, neat freak, democrat mother of two boys… yup, she’s got a lot to say (and she had a hellish day today so I hope this might help some). Go check her out, you’ll become a regular.

4) The Lil’ Mommy That Could: A stay at home mom with a great sense of humor and way of saying things. Susan does crafts with her kids and blogs about the trials and tribulations of it all. She also started out when I did – power to the newbies!

5) Down to Earth Mama: Another new blogger but DTEMama likes to (as she puts it) practice the “Let’s get Real” approach to life. She is new, she is a mom, she is smart and she has a great deal to say.

6) Tropic of Mom, Life at Lattitude 26: This is another newly blogging Florida mom whom I relate to and laugh with.

7) Wineonthekeyboard: Kacey has been blogging since 2006, and has been a mom for much longer than that. She would describe herself as a “boomer blogger” and discusses life AFTER living in the trenches of motherhood, when maybe women can finally find time to be reacquainted with themselves.

Enjoy this little award, from me to you all!

Secondly, if you haven’t already, PLEASE, gather together all the goodwill you can muster in your heart and read Motherhood Uncensored’s post about Blog the Recession. If this doesn’t go along with my concept of achieving good blogger karma, then I don’t know what else does.

READ IT, DAMN YOU.

And then go get yourself clicking merrily through the blogosphere.

In fact, here is what I am gonna do. I am going to take a little blogging break. Yup. And the time I would be spending towards posting and tending to my own blog, I will spend clicking through, commenting, stumbling and twittering other blogs over the next few days.

Do it. Help your fellow bloggers bring home the bacon… BLOG THE RECESSION!

Have a wonderful weekend. I’ll be back next week.

I am off to do an EXCESSIVE amount of clicking.

Dear Distinguished Members of the “Mother of the Year Award” Committee,

Let me just do you guys a favor. I am respectfully bowing out of this impossible race and now ask that I no longer be considered for your award. Why? Well. It’s August. And let’s just say I have had a lot of “quality time” with my 5 and 2 year old this summer. So, I am going to admit it right up front to you all.

I am sick of them.

That’s right. This mother is admitting it right out loud. Enough. I am so DONE with my boys right now. They are driving me insane. So go ahead, I’ll let you take a moment to scroll down your lists. Go ahead, do what ya gotta do….

CAROLINE

Because I am a MOTHER for cripes sakes. What MOTHER doesn’t want to be with her children? I made the choice to have these two children. I took on the responsibility to raise them, feed them, clothe them and find all their cute, little intricacies adorable, brilliant and endearing.

Folks, they are sooo not endearing to me. Not right now. 

They scream. A lot. They scream because they want what the other has. They scream because they got what the other had. They scream when they’re happy. Mad. Excited. Thoughtful. Sleeping (I swear to you).

My house is trashed. Couch pillows are for throwing, stacking and jumping on. One child actually likes to recreate an annoying little TV show called “Wipeout”. And as he hurls himself off of my hardly sturdy “Rooms 2 Go” furniture (that I paid off for an entire year), he, indeed, wipes out and takes everything (pillows, tables, throw blankets, cups, toys, the cat) with him. Random puddles of water can be found seeping into the pergo floors. Crayon on my actual wood dining room table. Cheese sandwich ground into the carpet. Books (theirs and mine) and photo albums strewn about the room, dropped open and promptly walked across. Laundry unfolded and tossed about. Window shades askew. Diapers ripped off and left. Grapes stuck in speakers. Snot smeared on sliding doors. Plants dismembered. Toys, toys, toys… God help me, they’re everywhere, the TOYS. The place is in utter shambles, and I want it back.

And then the expectation that I be some sort of Mary Poppins, whipping up newer and more exciting adventures with just a nod of my head as soon as I hear the sweet little whiney sound of ”I’m bored.” A phrase I must hear ten thousand times a day. My ideas are never fun enough, or exciting, or cool. “We did that yesterday.” or “that makes me even MORE boring” or “that’s not something fun.”

Can’t they figure out something to do by themselves? What happened to make-believe? Or coloring? Or quiet little games of Candyland at the dining room table? … No, I am not smoking crack. I swear to you, that’s what I did when I was a kid. Didn’t I?

And the TV has been taken hostage by the Disney Channel. And Noggin. And PBS. You see, my 5 year old has a natural affinity for A/V equipment (damn uncle’s genes rearing their ugly head). As a result, he has figured out how to find the free kids on-demand channels. And record them. And play them back ad nauseum until I rip the entire entertainment system out with my bare hands and stuff the still smoking cable box into my underwear drawer. And then -I’ll admit to it now - I cackle evilly while they throw themselves into heaps on the floor, sobbing. “Oh the humanity, mother took away the television” (at least that’s what I think they said). 

Muahahahahaha…

See? Torturing my children has become sport. FUN, enjoyable sport.

Let’s talk about food now, ok? “I’m hungry” does not mean I want food. It means “give me something I will actually eat.” Which usually means straight starch foods (pasta, crackers, bread, cardboard) or anything at all withsugar. Which I usually don’t have unless its fruit, and that will do. Which they consume in mass quantities if I don’t stop them and then must deal with crazy bouts of bowel movement issues. 

But back to food (because you are still in the mood for that topic now, I am sure).

If I actually cook, I mean REALLY cook and follow a recipe and everything, it is sure to “taste funny”. The eldest will put some in his mouth and then store it in the pocket of his cheek until it liquefies and then, finally, he gags it down, with tears running down his face. (Usually with me behind him, glaring, telling him he will never watch “Wipeout” again.) And the youngest? He straight up takes one look at it, yelps “nope!”, pops out of his seat and thats the last I’ll see of him. (I have NO idea how he is in the 99th percentile for weight. NO idea.)

Did I mention I am raising boys? I’m not sure about the males you have been in contact with but my boys beat the crap outa me. They are just so damn physical. The simple statement of “Look mommy!” usually includes one arm wrapped around my neck and pulling my face down into choke hold while shoving whatever it was into my nose and screaming “SEE! SEE?!!?!!!!” Um, yeah I see alright.

My boys grab ahold of me and jump, swing, pull, spin and twist. A simple snuggle on the bed? WWE… every single time. Diaper changes for my two year old? They require full baseball umpire-like padding.

The crap. Is beaten. Out of me. I am telling you.

I’m just tired. And weary. And OVER trying to match up with whatever expectations you all have for the “Mother of the Year”. Right now, I am not appreciating them. I am not awed by the life I have created. They are at my heels, they are on my case, they are busting my stuff and I need to just scream “ENOUGH!”

You’re convinced now, right? Good. I mean, I bet there are way better contenders out there. I bet NONE of the other moms get sick of their kids. I bet they all do super creative crafts and sing songs together and eat their carrots together happily and all dress alike. I bet I am the only one like this, burnt out, fed up and slugging down a glass of Pinot after a long day.

Good luck with your search. Let me know who you pick. I’ll send her a cheese basket or something.

And maybe a HUGE, chilled bottle of Pinot.

Sincerely and realistically yours,

Morningside (kind of sucks) Mom

(Part three of a posting series about my father.)

A few weeks ago at BlogHer, I was lucky enough to meet the wonderful and furry Grover monster from Sesame Street. Big wig Hollywood stars, step aside. Brangelina? Whatever. I met Grover and I was so honored. I thought about what an affect Sesame Street had on my life growing up and, now, my children’s lives. You can moan all you want about how children shouldn’t be watching television but Sesame Street is a time-honored, educational family tradition in this household.

But after I met Grover, I go to thinking about my father. Over a year ago, he had found himself working with the USAID team in Dhaka, the capital of Bangladesh. There are endless issues in this country that USAID has been working to address (bird flu, flood and disaster management, over-population). But there was one program that particularly caught my attention, of course. USAID was (and still is) funding the Bangladesh version of Sesame Street or alternately known there as Sisimpur.

Now again, some of you nay-sayers might comment that maybe bringing television to children in Bangladesh is not such a good idea. Perhaps it has a “westernized” bias and we are just putting our values on another country’s children. Well, here’s the fascinating thing about Sisimpur. Sure, it covers educational concepts aimed at children in their pre-school years. But it also covers issues, Bangladeshi-specific issues, far beyond just your ABCs and 123s. Asarul Islam Chowdhury is an economics professor at Jahangirnagar University and North South University, also a writer for the Forum, a publication of The Daily Star. Chowdhury says the following (please read the rest of this article here ):

Sisimpur provides children with basic education on health, hygiene, nutrition, and safety. Children appreciate the importance of brushing their teeth and washing their hands. They discover how physical exercise is important, but so is also getting enough rest. Children find out the importance of vitamins, proteins and other food components and their sources in common and affordable fruits, vegetables, fish and meat. Diversity points towards tolerance and respect to others. Children are exposed to urban and rural communities across different occupations. Children come to know we live in a society where racial, religious and ethnic traditions and values of families are different. Accepting and appreciating these differences is one area where Sisimpur places special emphasis. Art, culture and heritage of Bangladesh and the outside world are the “final frontiers” of Sisimpur’s educational goals. Children are exposed to both Bangladeshi and non-Bangladeshi forms of art and culture. They are also exposed to music, song, dances. The imaginary world of Sisimpur is the platform for children. The whole world is their stage.

During his time there, my father noted that when it is time for Sisumpur, every television in Dhaka is tuned in. Work and play come to a halt, adults and children gather and watch the entire episode. Unlike our country where Sesame Street is something to throw the kids in front of while you get the dishes done, Sisimpur is serious must-see TV, educating entire communities; not only do pre-school aged children benefit but so do their entire families.

(Sidebar: Shoot, what stops our country in it’s tracks to watch TV? American Idol. Too bad we, as an entire nation, couldn’t think to care about watching something that might actually be educational.)

And let’s not also forget the fact there is a large majority of children without access to schools or even television. Sisumpur, when they can see it, might be the only education they recieve. I couldn’t help but appreciate this story noted on the USAID website:

In an effort to reach children in remote areas, USAID-Bangladesh has partnered with Save the Children USA to produce and deploy a small fleet of flatbed cycle rickshaws that carry a TV, a DVD player, and a generator to villages that are not serviced by power lines or are otherwise limited in their ability to access Sisimpur. The rickshaw goes to each location once a week and draws a remarkable amount of viewers, sometimes with as many as 200 people gathering to watch the show.

There is certainly a part of me cringing. Yikes. The U.S. is carting in television to remote villages? God, what if they put on the wrong DVD and play Sponge Bob Square Pants – gag – let the brain-numbing affects of american television begin.

But no. That’s not what this is about. These kids hardly have the never-ending access to TV that ours do. Or the wealth of schools, money, books, libraries, resources, you name it. Sisimpur is bringing an important blend of education and cultural awareness to communities in Bangladesh. Sisimpur is doing exactly what public television strives to do in our own country by offering “the full spectrum of media to build knowledge and critical thinking; to empower children as citizens of their communities, nation and world.”

Clearly, I’ve drunk the PBS/USAID kool-aid on this one. So be it. This is an excellent program affecting families in Bangladesh so much more than our own Sesame street ever has or ever will.

To wrap this post up, I’ll just add that my father was lucky enough to visit the Sisimpur set (see pics above). He’s the ruddy faced, jolly looking guy in the glasses in the middle. (Full credit to my mother for taking these pictures also.) The puppeteers are extraordinarily talented and committed to their work. I think this statement from their producer says so much about the true efforts of this program. Please take a sec to read it, I was very impressed.

Sisimpur is not the only international version of Sesame Street. Check out other country’s programs here.

Can you tell me how to get to Sisumpur?

I have this thing about karma. Or at least I have a thing about my own pseudo-semi-spiritual notion of what it means. My kind of karma, the “Caroline” definition of Karma (and forgive me real karma people for butchering it’s true meaning) is to give and give and give. And when you give, you will get back what you deserve. I also know karma is about balance and for every good there is a bad. Yin, yang, good, bad, bladdy bladdy blah. But I am completely down with my little karma concept in that we just have to take care of one another and the universe will be sure you get yours in the long run.

So, then I went to BlogHer. (I know I know, I am talking about it again. But one post this conference does not suffice. I think this might be the last one though, ok?) And, while I sat in sessions and kept a fairly low profile, the gears in my brain were working overtime to absorb and learn as much as I possibly could. I think the session that Kacey summarizes nicely might be my greatest inspiration, but I seemed to pick this concept up more and more throughout all of the sessions I attended and after the many conversations I had.

And now, a few weeks have passed, and I want to share the big lesson, the big “ah-ha”, light bulb going over my head, bit of knowledge that has bubbled up to the surface of my brain and truly enlightened me. That lesson is:

A good blogger practices good blogger karma.

(Cue bright beam of light on my blog, angels singing from above.)

And what do I mean by that? Well, you may have heard what I am talking about in slightly more down to earth terms but I am going to put a spiritual spin on it here. So, after all that listening and stewing, this is how I think one practices good blogger karma.

A good blogger should reach out, make time for and respect the community of bloggers you are writing amongst. As anti-social as writing by yourself at your computer may seem, let’s face it, blogging is a community oriented mode of expression. And for your blog to succeed, you need to care about the bloggers around you. Because they are there, reading you, watching you, and considering what you have to say. So for as much time as you might spend on your own blog (writing, tinkering, stat watching, widgeting or what have you), you should spend an equal amount of time reading and reaching out to other bloggers. To achieve true blogger karma, you might want to consider the following:

• Comments: Visit blogs, read them well, and make a smart comment. Care about the blogs you read.
• Link: If you really were inspired by another blog, be sure to link to it in yours. Give it the public props it deserves
• If you are on twitter, and you enjoyed someone else’s post, link your followers to it on Twitter. Don’t get too caught up on linking to your posts all the time on twitter either
• Join and load up Stumble It. And then click on “I like it” for any posts you read that you like. Take the time to add the categories and tags approprite to that post
• Add your favorite blogs to your blogroll
• Be nice and reach out to other bloggers by email, twitter, comments or through any of the various community networks

Again, I know most of you have probably heard this all before. But do we all really take just as much time to reach out to other bloggers as we do to our own blog? That’s hard to do, right? But you really need to care about those other bloggers. A lot. You need to give them credit and pay their posts forward. Perform random acts of blogging kindness. Comment. Twitter, Stumble It. Kirtsy it. Email. Post it on Facebook. Just give your energy, your time and your heart, dammit. You have nothing to lose and so much blogging karma to gain.

I remember when I first started blogging, and I thought it seemed extremely self-involved. I mean, c’mon. Writing endless paragraphs about stuff I am thinking about, and then pushing a button to put it out there for the web-savvy masses to read? Did I REALLY think I had anything THAT important to say? I felt like it was a tad self-indulgant and felt a little embarressed I would assume my writing would and should be read.

But now, this new concept of blogging karma has been a wonderful bit of enlightenment. It helps me feel more justified to ramble on about my own semi-brilliant thoughts in a blog post when I know I will do my bit to support other blogs once I’m done. What a relief that is to me.

And sure, you don’t HAVE to practice blogging karma. You can write your stuff and do your thing and twitter about yourself all day (like I have today… Did you hear? C. pooped in the potty!) and maybe occasionally check out some post here and there that got your attention… but then what are you learning, really? And, will your blog grow at all? And, lets not forget – what I know you probably care about most - WILL people really come check your blog out if you don’t bother to check out theirs? Just consider it, ok?

Now that being said, ENOUGH ABOUT ME. (ha… I crack myself up.) I am off to peruse the wonderful world of smart bloggers everywhere. I will wave my Stumble It wand and sprinkle well thought out comments everywhere….

Ugh, ok. All this positive “be good to your fellow blogger” crap might have just reached it saturation point and is getting to be a touch much. Even for me. (gag.)

But you know what I mean.

Just get out there and go be nice.