Gay Marriage Bans, Discrimination and Fruit

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While last Tuesday night had many Americans dancing in the streets (and rightfully so – hell, I’m still dancing), we were also given a sobering wake up call. Bans on gay marriage passed in California, Florida and Arizona.

Forgive me as I state the oh so obvious, but this is very bad news for our country.

While we rejoice the fact that an African American man has become a United States President, there – sitting in the shadow of this wonderful moment - is hate, discrimination and fear. And so, a majority of people in these states voted that two people who love each other – who happened to be the same gender – do not deserve the same rights to marry as they do.

Gender. What the hell does it mean anyway? That I have to sit down to pee and my husband does not? That I have the physiology to make a baby and but my husband does not? Or that at Red Lobster, he goes into the “Bouys” room and I go into the “Gulls”? I mean, that’s it. Otherwise, we are as alike as any two people can be - with the same abundance of love for each other and our children, with the same abilities to think and reason, we catch the same germs when we get sick, we like to eat good food, and drink beer, and maybe he watches more football than I do but we BOTH watch Project Runway, for cripes sakes!

Now, my feminist tendancies are tapping my shoulder to remind me that men and women have not been treated the same since the dawn of man… er… people. (SEE?!?!) And gender is a very complex thing indeed (am wiping my brow remembering a Philosophy and Gender class I took in college). But, that’s not what I mean right now. I am talking about just the basics of gender. And that we are the same – except for some interesting bits of physiology. So, really, what it comes down to is that my husband and I – who love each other very much – are allowed to be married simply because he has twigs and berries, and I’ve gotta peach.

And so, depending on how we shuffle our twigs and berries and peaches, those with only the CORRECT assortment of said symbolic plant items can marry. Therefore, two people who love each other deeply but BOTH must use the”Bouys” room… well, call out the reinforcements and send lightening bolts down from the heavens – they absolutely CANNOT be married.

Folks think about it. When it comes to love and family, gender doesn’t mean anything. Love is love. And no one else should be allowed to tell me or anyone else who I can or can not love and marry.

Shoot, if all marriage boils down to is an assortment of the correct kinds of fruit, well then you may as well tell me that I couldn’t marry someone because he or she was shorter than I am. Or has a different shade of eye color. Or a different shade of skin than I do… (oh wait, we’ve done that one before).

Not allowing two human beings to marry – AND I DON’T CARE WHAT COMBINATION OF TWIGS, BERRIES AND PEACHES YOU’VE GOT – is discrimination people. It’s as simple as that.

So before I get any further stewed up and start hurling more fruit epithets your way, I will leave you with this. Please, PLEASE watch this special comment given by Keith Olbermann last night. He gets it so right for me and for all of us. Love is love people, and it’s simply a human right.

keith-olbermann        CLICK HERE TO WATCH KEITH OLBERMANN’S SPECIAL COMMENT.

13 comments ↓

#1 susanlindgren on 11.11.08 at 3:26 pm

Nothing to add, just a BIG here here!

#2 Minxy Mimi on 11.11.08 at 4:58 pm

I saw Keith’s commentary. I applaud him and his message 100%
I just want someone who supported Prop 8 and banning gay marriage to tell me why? Why it hurts their marriage? Why it should concern them at all? How it affects them in any way? Because even if some do not agree with it (that is their right) why make it your business to take AWAY rights from someone you dont understand. Your religion is not everyones religion, your point of view is not everyone elses, your choices are not mine… please take care of your own marriage and leave everyone else to their own devices. Thats all I ask! and P. S. I am not gay, I am married to a man. I just love some gay people.

#3 Your Hot SIL (not Meryl, you doofus) on 11.11.08 at 10:19 pm

I loves me some gays.

And, yet, I still want them to be allowed to marry, and suffer along with the rest of us. Because I hurt the ones I love.

Seriously. Do these people who hate marriage rights REALLY think that they are going to see a tidal wave of het divorce if the ladies who love ladies can tie the knot? And, what does this tell us about homophobia and denial?

And, on a more pragmatic note, in these troubled economic times, a $600 tax refund means crap. But, two fabulous stylish people with disposable income to spare and a jones for new china? STIMULUS PACKAGE, BABY.

Stop laughing. Yes, “stimulus package” is funny, I know. But you get the point.

#4 Michele on 11.12.08 at 1:20 am

I happen to live in AZ and was really bugged by the proposition that passed. Gay marriages were already illegal here, but the proposition now makes it unconstitutional. I just thought it was a mean-spirited measure; like sticking a blind person in the eyes, just to make sure he really will never see. I told my husband that if it passed we’d definitely move back to CA, but then CA passed Prop 8! (sigh)

#5 Your Hot SIL (not Meryl, you doofus) on 11.12.08 at 11:27 am

Oh, and by the way, as of today, the State of Connecticut is giving marriage licenses to couples regardless of gender distribution.

I love being part of “fake America.”

#6 Kacey on 11.12.08 at 12:04 pm

Your blog post titles always suck me in :)

I don’t have a problem with someone not personally believing in gay marriages, some churches not recognizing them…that’s their SEPARATE church and SEPARATE state right. But I do feel that gay couples should have the same civil rights as other couples. Insurance, file taxes jointly, etc. I was astounded when I heard that California. CALIFORNIA! passed this bill.

#7 DH on 11.12.08 at 1:33 pm

Hot button subject for me…I still have never heard a coherent argument against gay-marriage.

My idea is this: Stop recognizing all marriages, only attach the legal rights and responsibilities to civil unions. That way churches can decide who they want to marry and the government can have equal (not separate) treatment for all committed relationships.

I really wish people would stop protecting the sanctity of my marriage. I don’t really want or need the help, thanks.

#8 tcmom on 11.12.08 at 1:52 pm

I am loving my commenters right now! :)

#9 Corina - Down to Earth Mama on 11.12.08 at 5:03 pm

Enough is enough. There isn’t an us and them. All these propositions do is to constitute it as such. I don’t understand why we find it necessary to stick our noses in it anyway. Why is this even a law issue? Why mix law and love? As long as we are not marrying animals or children, why does it even matter. Free will and the ability to make a clear decision for themselves should constitute whether or not people can marry. The rest of these propositions make no sense.

#10 ilinap on 11.12.08 at 5:41 pm

I am still wondering why the hell this issue is on our national radar. Excuse me but there are wars we’re fighting, diseases we’re battling, an economy we’re boosting, and children we’re trying to feed and educate. Is it really the most burning issue in the country that we ban love and marriage? Last I heard, marriage was about love and companionship, not gender. How hateful and shameful we have become. Mighty unChristian from the very folks who claim to live by WWJD.

#11 deb on 11.12.08 at 11:36 pm

Great post! I love your fruit analogy. Plus it has me singing “Really love your peaches want to shake your twigs…”

#12 Tina (stickymama) on 11.15.08 at 11:49 am

I heart Keith Olbermann. Loved him when he was on Sports Center, love him even more now.

The election was so bittersweet. How can California of all places VOTE to take away civil rights? Because no matter what the churchboys and churchgirls say, marriage is a civil matter, not a religious one. If churches choose not to perform some marriages, so be it. But their sentiments must take away someone’s legal rights.

Someone (OK, it was my mother) said to me once that gays shouldn’t be allowed to marry because they can’t have babies–and that’s what marriage and family is about. But my brother married a woman who doesn’t want kids. Should they have been forbidden from marrying? My husband’s grandfather–he’s 95–is dating a lovely lady he met through his dance group. They won’t be procreating. Should they be forbidden from marrying?

Deep breath. I’ll stop now.

#13 Joe Kalinowski on 11.19.08 at 12:26 pm

Kudos to Keith Olbermann, and Kudos to all of you who aren’t so self righteous to have voted for this ridiculous Prop 8. It makes me embarrassed to be part of this country that we are fighting these types of things right now. I just don’t see why the people who use their religion to hide behind when taking other peoples rights away from them.
As was said in the video… only 50% if marriages are successful. If marriage is so “sacred”, why are there so many divorces? I have know gay and lesbian couples who have relationships to be proud of. They have been together for years, are raising children together, and have been devoted to each other for all of those years. Why shouldn’t these people be given the right to be acknowledged. If more “straight” couples respected the bond of marriage as much as some of these gay couples then there wouldn’t be as much divorce.

OK… Off my soap box now. Just, please, stop the judging, stop the hate, let good people live their lives.

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