Comments on: Be a Better Parent without Forgeting about Yourself

By: Aly @ Lip Zip

Aly @ Lip Zip — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 20:44:00 +0000

I was going to type something clever here but a 2-year-old sucked out my brain before I could finish my thought.

Sorry.

By: stesha

stesha — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 14:59:16 +0000

Awesome post!

By: ilinap

ilinap — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 14:54:43 +0000

I think any of us could insert ourselves in that photo and feel and breathe the moment. I’ve been watching old videos of my sons and am astounded at how they’ve changed in just a year. It is heartwarming and heartwrenching at the same time. But you are so right, we must hang on to wee bit of ourselves because we will need it again. We set a better example for our children this way. I truly believe that, regardless of the guilt that comes with it. So tell me when you want to run that 5K, and I’ll fly down to watch your boys. It’s not like I won’t know what I’m getting into.

I’m going to tweet this post.

By: Deb on the Rocks

Deb on the Rocks — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 16:29:04 +0000

Lemme tell you, this is essential! After my divorce, all of the divorced moms at my son’s elementary school often said to each other that we came to enjoy visitation weekends because we got a break from our kids and a chance to be an adult and even date—but we really wish we had made that happen for ourselves before the divorce, with our spouses. (Of course that’s not the only reason, and divorces are sometimes the best thing, but the point is giving up time alone and alone with your spouse doesn’t help your family in the long run.) Heed the advice of the divorced! I am not making that mistake in my current relationship.

By: Susan

Susan — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 22:57:57 +0000

Great post! I am guilty of all the above. It came to a point when I went to find jeans to “dress-up” SOOOOO BAD

By: AZ Mom of Many Hats

AZ Mom of Many Hats — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 22:47:40 +0000

I so get how you feel. As much as my children are my world, I was so consumed by my role as mom, that I didn’t know who I was any more. I spent 4 years having my hubby travel 5 days a week. We lived in a state where we had no family. My kids were 3 mos., 3 yrs, and 7 yrs. old when that began. When my oldest entered middle school, I realized that I needed to figure out who I was. My hubby was very supportive of my quest – that is so helpful. I explored all of the activities I had even considered when the kids were small – beginning with bellydancing lessons (they helped me to realize that even after 3 kids, I could still be sensual), going back to school (still a work in progress), writing, and various hobbies. I realized that I am ever evolving. Even those years are spent being lost in momhood, there is always a little spark of ourselves hidden under all the laundry, poopy diapers, yucky bottles that have rolled under the couch, and the speghettio stained carpets that envelope us. Take in from personal experience (my kids are now 12,14, and 19) loving my children and wanting them to see who I was outside of “mom” was the kindling that helped my little spark become a bright burning flame!

By: FireMom

FireMom — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 22:37:07 +0000

Actually? I’m rocking at this in the past six months or so.

Last time FireDad & I went on a date? Let me do you one better. We WENT AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND two weeks ago. We’ve gone on monthly dates since mid-summer and will continue to do so. Until March. When we go away for the weekend again. We like being us. (Of note, it wasn’t until I started to pull out of the PPD that I really started to focus on our relationship again.)

And? Time for me? I’m getting a sauna treatment and massage tomorrow. Granted, that was a gift from FireDad. But mmmmassage. Also? I joined the local singing group for this season and it has been SO good getting back to what really used to make me tick.

I like who I have become. My children have shaped who I am in so many ways. But? I was pretty awesome to start with and remembering that in the past year has been such a blessing to so many relationships. Not least of all how I parent my children.

By: ummadam

ummadam — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 20:36:41 +0000

Bless your heart! This is exactly what I needed to read tonight before heading off to bed. You made me laught, then cry, and then laught again! I spoke on the phone earlier today with a friend – mother of 10 (32 years old!) about this same thing. ZZFunny thing is I only have 4 kids and it was she telling me that I needed to start going out on dates with my husband. I had a tea party tonight and when I invited her she said that she couldn’t come cuz it was date night! I also just emailed another friend – mom of 8= about the same thing earlier. I’ll send her the link!