Entries from February 2009 ↓

Being a mom is boring. Its just lame. Its not interesting. It is about as exciting as watching paint dry. And before you start commenting up a storm about how untrue this is, how mothers are unsung heroes and need all the props in the world – well, I actually wholeheartedly agree with you. But still, in the eyes of the world, when a mother starts talking about her day, said world’s eyes glaze right over. And you know I’m right.

Here’s the irony. While a mother’s day might be considered lame, it is actually fast paced and filled with action.  A typical day might include learning how to change a poopy diaper while using every one of your limbs to pin that child so they don’t get up or take a swipe at something they shouldn’t. Or how about making 2 lunches at the same time while piercing shrieks are directed right at you. Cold sweat anyone? Or many don’t realize that mothers play goalie many afternoons, keeping balls from rolling into streets or going over fences. Or try shopping with kids. You want excitement? I’ll give you excitement.

But when a friend or family member or even someone who does technically care very much asks you “How was your day?” Just try and rehash what you did. Try and explain how tough that poopy diaper was. How many times you had to put your two year old back into time out. How you had to pick grapes out of the speaker. No matter what adventure you had been on that day that challenged you to your wits end, one thing remains true…

It’s boring.

Yup, rehashing a mother’s day just does not get anyone’s pulse racing. I don’t know why but its the truth. Its as if something is lost in translation.

“And you should have seen him, writhing around, I had each of my feet pinning his legs and the wipes in one hand and I was leaning on his body, he kicked me once in the head (luckily the bleeding wasn’t too bad) BUT I got it all, I got ALL the poop off his ass! Amazing, huh?”

*Crickets*

Boring. Lame.  It’s not interesting.

So where does that leave mothers? When that’s all they do? When all that they have accomplished is simply reflected in clean, fed, healthy, sleeping children at the end of a day? Well, its leaves them with just that. Clean, fed, healthy sleeping children. And expecting some kind of award, or oohing and ahhing for this achievement, just won’t get you anywhere. Don’t be bitter. It’s your gig now. There is not a lot of positive feedback and there are no bonuses for extra time put in. The reality is folks don’t really want to hear about every single detail and I’m afraid that makes it pretty damn isolating. Sorry. I know we deserve red carpets and gold trophies - but that’s just the way it is.

Now don’t get me wrong. I love being home with my kids. I know how lucky I am to have this time with them. Its just, well, I can’t expect anyone who wasn’t there next to me changing that poopy diaper to really give a crap (so to speak).

Mothers are lame. Healthy, clean, fed, sleeping children certainly are NOT. But mothers and their adventures are, no bones about it, *yawn*, next subject please, laaaame.

And you know what’s even more lame? A post about moms talking about their days and how lame that is. Is anyone even reading this? Bueller? …Bueller?

(Oh and one more thing. If you think you get crickets telling people what you do home with your kids all day, try telling them you blog. *Blink* Maybe my next post needs to be titled “But Bloggers are REALLY Lame.”)

So I’m a woman. And many years ago, I was a working woman. I earned a nice-ish little income, I had a title, an office with a view, I wore suits and shared smart ideas about important stuff with other smart, important people around lacquered cherry wood conference tables. There were women and men in our office. And I assumed our pay was equitable. Or was it?

According to Women on Business, women nationally make 77c to every dollar men earn. That is not equitable. And let’s say a woman has proof that she does not make as much as a male counterpart, does she have the resources, the support – heck – even the laws in place so that she can file a lawsuit arguing inequity in her office place? Well sort of – and not until very recently.

So who is Lilly Ledbetter and what does she have to do with this issue? Last week, a new Fair Pay Act was named after her. Why? After working almost two decades for Alabama Goodyear Tire, Ms. Ledbetter filed a suit against the company with proof that she was being paid inequitably compared to her male counterparts. However, she could not win compensation due to some fine print found in the Civil Rights Act. That fine print stated that if 180 days had passed since an employee received a paycheck, a complaint regarding inequitable salaries could not be filed.

What? After working with Goodyear for almost two decades, how was she supposed to know if her pay was considered inequitable and thus know when her 180 days had expired? Why was this situation her fault?

Last week, President Obama signed a bill to change this, allowing workers to more time to file such types of law suits. It seems an obvious change and one that should never have been over-looked – and yet this bill was only signed days ago.

The reality remains, however. Inequity in the work place will not just go away now that companies have to watch their own backs more carefully.

So how do other bloggers feel about the new Fair Pay Act? Do they feel this Act enough? Martha Burk at the Huffington Post feels more is needed and that we should look to New Mexico as an example:

“Not only will the state as an employer have to study and report its own pay practices when it comes to gender and race, so will private sector companies that want state contracts. Richardson [Governor of New Mexico] has declared overcoming pay inequity and job segregation a priority, and established a high-powered task force to implement the needed changes.”

Emily Douglas at The American Prospect argues that this Fair Pay Act isn’t enough. In fact, it isn’t getting us that much further ahead. Rather,

“…the truth is that the Ledbetter Act simply restores employment-discrimination law to its pre-Ledbetter v. Goodyear standard. It doesn’t actually create new protections for workers, protections Ledbetter herself could have used — like a prohibition on employer retaliation if workers compare salaries.”

Punditmom agrees that this Fair Pay Act is a step in the right direction but questions whether the President is overlooking many other important issues in need of immediate attention for women such as increased health services. This apparent “tip of the iceberg” step towards fair pay seems to smack a bit of a quick fix, something to tide women’s rights activists over for the time being.

Sua Sponte is optimistic, however. She writes:

“This is not only an Act that will protect women like Lilly Ledbetter, but also countless other people paid less because of their race, national origin or religion. This Act clearly won’t be the remedy for all discriminatory pay decisions, but it’s a good start and sends a great symbolic message as Obama’s first law.”

Clearly, passing the Ledbetter Act alone will not solve discrimination issues in the work place. It seems simply the clarification of a detail. There is still so much more work to be done to truly establish equity amongst employees. But I suppose we all need to consider this a “glass is half full” moment. Thanks to this new Act, women can file a discrimination complaint and actually have a chance at compensation. Even if the Ledbetter Act is only considered one symbolic deckchair tossed impressively off the Titanic – it is still one step closer to a little something we all consider more American than apple pie: equal rights.

Cross posted at Type A Moms.