The Ugliest Christmas Cookies Ever

I had the best intentions. In the spirit of the holidays, I decided to make Christmas cookies for all four of my sons teachers. I love cookies, I mean who doesn’t LOVE cookies, so I baked cookies. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Yeah, well I decided to get creative. Since my son has a peanut allergy, a lot of the Christmas cookie recipes must be ruled out. So sugar cookies can get a little, I don’t know… YAWN… after awhile.

What to do, what to do. Cookie recipes books? No. Of course not. I can handle this.

And then I eyed the candy canes hanging on my tree. Hmmmm. I could crush up candy cane and put it in the cookies. OH! Even better, I could roll them in it. Or how ’bout THIS! Maybe I could swirl a little red food dye in (…don’t look at me that way…) and maybe get that Christmas-ish, candy caney, red swirling effect. Yeah. It’ll be great.

So maybe I was distracted by my father on the phone. Cut me a break, he’s trying to figure out how he’ll get from his house to the train station in DC tomorrow. And feet upon feet of snow are coming down. “Get a ride to the metro Dad! And don’t shovel all of that, whatever you do, it’s not good for your heart!”

*Squirt*

I had the food coloring in hand. And. Maybe? I squirted too much in.

Oops. So I stirred the mix. When suddenly? I had Pepto Bismal colored cookie dough mix.

Yeah. Awesome. Well. To hell with it. I rolled it into balls and dipped each into the crushed candy cane. Into the oven they went.

Out came this.

EEEWWWWWWWWWW…..

And, to top it all off (so to speak) the candy cane melted and stuck to the pan. So, as I tried hacking them off the cookie sheet I busted my cheap ass spatula. Crack. Just like that. So, it was a free cake spatula from Publix but it was nice and thin so it didn’t mess with the cookie shape. Yeah well, cracking it sure messed with that particular cookie’s shape.

Merry Christmas to my son’s teachers. Truly, I had the best intentions. And I *think* they taste ok (if you shut your eyes and try reeeeally hard not to think that I just mixed in a tub of Bepto Bismal).

I’m linking to Craftastrophe too. If they want to feature this particularly unfortunate batch of cookies along with some choice words about my cookie skillz, it would be my honor.