A Story of Hate at the Zoo

I took my two boys to the zoo this weekend. And usually this is a seemingly uneventful outing. We had a great time. The weather was perfect, balmy animal viewing weather and I even considered posting some of the fun monkey pictures I took when I got home.

But those monkey pictures aren’t really what deserves attention on this blog. Another experience stands out as something I feel should rather be posted about that day.

And it wasn’t a good experience.

I saw hate happen – and it was directed at children.

Let me back up and explain what went down. My three year old had been begging we ride the carousel for the better part of an hour. In fact, I am surprised that any of those monkey pictures were in focus at all. While I took them, he hung, whined, tapped, bumped, pleaded and nudged me until I relented and headed towards the carousel. So there I was, fumbling for change to buy tokens when I heard it.

Laughter…”….Siamese twins!!!”

I looked over and there was a pack of about 5 or 6 high school aged kids walking by, pointing.

“No, no, not Siamese, CHINESE!!!!! CHINESE TWINS, dude. LOOK!!!!”

Laughter. “Where!?”

“OVER THERE! LOOOK!!!!!”

The tallest guy in the pack stopped in his tracks and pointed. The rest kept walking but still – laughter, laughter, laughter, pointing…

I turned to see where they were pointing. And there, between the token machine and the carousel were two girls of Asian decent, sisters, obviously twins. Their ages were somewhere between my sons – so maybe four or five years old. They were both wearing beautiful matching red dresses, and were waiting in line for the ride.

“CHING CHONG CHONGCHINGCHONG CHONG CHING!!!! Holy shit, dude. Chinese twins!!!”

So much laughing.

“Oh my God, dude!!! Check that OUT!”

And then they were out of earshot, almost around the other side of the carousel. Still, I couldn’t help myself and said out loud.

“Are you KIDDING ME?!?!!?”

No one looked at me. No one looked at them. No one seemed to notice. Ignoring? Not hearing? Not caring?

And while I hissed “…. just disgusting, I can NOT believe what I just heard…” I glanced over at the girls. They stood in line. And their mother, whom I had not noticed before, stood there too with her stroller. All three were silent, waiting.

They didn’t act like they had heard anything.

But you know, and I know, that they heard EVERYTHING.

“What Mommy? Whats wrong?”

Had my kids heard anything? They must have. Do I point out what they said was wrong?

But after my six year old asked the question and saw my attention on them, they both turned back to their token recovery mission. They stood hovering at the bottom of the machine, willing their gold coins to drop out at any moment.

Maybe they didn’t hear anything. Or maybe they didn’t understand. Should I explain this to them? Should I have chased after those kids and yelled at them? Wait, could I really do that with my kids who were locked in token grabbing position? Would it make a difference? What do I do??

“Mom. The tokens?”

“Oh yeah.”

I fed the dollar bills into the machine and stole another glance over at the family. The mother looked tired. The girls looked unperturbed.

Should I say something to her?

No. I mean, what if she didn’t hear it, I wouldn’t want to bring attention to it.

Who am I kidding. She heard it. She heard a bunch of punks point out to the world that her two beautiful girls are “Siamese…. no CHINESE!” and then frigging “ching chonged” at them.

It made me sick to my stomach. But I did nothing. Except get tokens and stand in line behind another family who now separated us from both girls and their mother.

I saw her later on that afternoon. The two girls were running at full steam up the hill towards the giraffes. And their mother was a small distance behind them, pushing her stroller. The same tired look on her face, the same resigned sense about her. I tried to make eye contact, I wanted to smile and just send some vibe of kindness her way. But she didn’t look at me. She didn’t look at anyone. Just plodded on.

And I couldn’t help but think that because I didn’t really do anything, I was part of it all. Whose to say I didn’t think what those kids said WAS funny. From where she stands behind her stroller, whose to say the whole damn park didn’t secretly laugh along too. Her girls were singled out because of their race and their “twin-ness”. Whose to say she doesn’t walk around assuming the whole world is against her and her daughters unless someone stands up and says or does otherwise.

Or. Maybe she knows those were just some punk ass kids who are pathetically ignorant and has heard stupidity before and won’t let it get to her and her tired look is just from being tired after a day with her girls at the zoo.

I’d like to think that’s how she feels. It would make me feel better to think that’s how she feels. But really? My bets are that’s not really how she feels.

“Mom, elephants!”

My kids pulled at my hands and I walked away. Safe in my own majority, never having had to consider an issue like this with my children before and possibly never having  to again.

And that, my friends, is no comfort at all.