It’s my mother’s birthday today. She would have been 67.
Like I’ve done most years on this day, I wish I was sitting here feeling badly about not having sent her anything too spectacular for her birthday. Usually she might get some picture or drawing or small little last minute thing from the kids. Which she loved. She was not a fan of getting older. She never expected the red carpet treatment and I don’t think she wanted any attention drawn to the fact anyway. But she always appreciated the little stuff. The little stuff was just fine.
I wish she was back home watching all those bulbs she worked so hard to get into the ground finally coming up. And the daffodils and forsythia. I wish she knew about all that has happened since her death this summer. My 3yo is finally potty trained and going to school and kind of reading now. And my 6yo lost all kinds of teeth, is growing so fast and got straight A’s on his report card. And that book she bought him for his birthday last May, the one about all the baseball parks, I want her to know he has read and loved that book so much, its cover is gone, the binding is cracking and pages are slipping out.
And folks could say she’s here and she knows and she is with us. I know she is. I can feel her lots of the time. But it’s not enough. Call me selfish but I wish she was at the other end of the line when I call the DC house. I wish I could drive down to the Tampa airport and watch her get off the escalator, bumbling along with a million bags, her huge jug of water and hair askew, excited for another visit with her grand kids. THAT’S what I want.
I’m not grateful enough for what I have of her now just like I wasn’t grateful enough for what I had then. Things don’t change I suppose.
I miss you, Mom. Happy Birthday.
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10 comments ↓
tears. she is with you and she is watching your kids grow. & bet she’s pretty proud! I’m sure today will be tough. Wishing you the best,
Beautiful. I wish you peace.
patois´s last blog ..Is it April First or Something?
Caroline, I read your blog every day and love it, but I just had to “comment” today. I am weeping for you, and I DO know how you feel. We have had this conversation already. My heart is with you.
Big cyber hug to you today {{{Caroline}}}. I can imagine how you feel and your loss makes me want to go over to my parents house and hug my Dad today after everything he’s been going through. Happy Birthday Morningside Mom’s Mom :)
DWJ´s last blog ..On My Radar | Fly London Shoes
Love to you today and all days girl. I know she is so proud of you and your family every day.
Big hugs,
Dallas
Be selfish, nothing wrong with that.
Hugs and love.
Susan´s last blog ..Sick
and I am doing the Susan G Komen walk this summer I will add her to my list of people I am walking for!
Susan´s last blog ..Sick
im thinking of you.what a nice way to pay tribute to a wonderful mother.
Oh, my heart aches for you. :-(
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I know I can never take her place,but love and feel for you.
Your favorite MIL
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