Stop Speaking For Me

It seems all sorts of folks have been speaking on my behalf about a few things. And I am referring to myself in the general “just your average mom” kind of way. But as a typical, average mom who believes in equality, choice and, well, love (I know, sooooo feminist of me), these folks seem to have me wildly misinterpreted and misrepresented. And that’s not OK.

Let’s start with a group that subtly titles itself “One Million Moms.” (I’m not linking to them because I don’t want to. Go find them for yourself if you wish.) People look at that name, however, and say, “Oh hey, that’s a whole lot of moms! That must be every mom! Let’s hear what all these moms think.” Ok. Well, this group of a “million moms” has recently waged war against JC Penney. Why? Here’s why:

“Recently JC Penney announced that comedian Ellen Degeneres will be the company’s new spokesperson. Funny that JC Penney thinks hiring an open homosexual spokesperson will help their business when most of their customers are traditional families… By jumping on the pro-gay bandwagon, JC Penney is attempting to gain a new target market and in the process will lose customers with traditional values that have been faithful to them over all these years.”

Wait a second. I’m a traditional family. I mean, I have kids and a mortgage and I want them raised to be nice, lawful people. So, JC Penney is going to LOSE customers with these values because their new spokeswoman is a woman who loves another woman?

Nope. Stop speaking for me.

And stop speaking for so many other moms and bloggers. Thankfully, bloggers and mothers never let things lie. We listen, and share, spread awareness and, most importantly, shop at JC Penney. And we take pictures of our shopping. And spread them all over the internets.

This ragtag collection of one million moms need to check their hate and get the hell off my lawn. My values are about equality and love and I’d like to think those values are pretty damn traditional in a certain “What Would Jesus Do” kind of way.

But wait, there’s more.

I choose to use birth control. Funniest thing, that. If I don’t, I get pregnant. I’ve tried it, twice. So, I know I cannot afford to pull the goalie because we can’t feed more mouths, we need me working and, dammit, I’m getting kind of old for that stuff. Deciding to provide for my family is far more productive than reproduction — but apparently this is questionable.

Oh yes.

One of the current GOP candidates running for President (of the United States, yep, the whole country), Santorum,  has said this:

“One of the things I will talk about that no president has talked about before is the dangers of contraception in this country, the whole sexual libertine idea. Many in the Christian faith have said, ‘Well, that’s okay. Contraception’s okay.’ It’s not okay because it’s a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.”

AND PEOPLE ARE VOTING FOR HIM.

And people are supporting him. Like this bozo, Santorum’s billionaire backer, who actually informed us that:

“Back in my day, they used Bayer aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly.”

Yep. He said that.

People are bringing Santorum’s views on contraception up, why? Because our President thought that maybe women might need some help affording birth control. You know, since healthcare is kind of expensive? And because poor women are more than 3 times as likely as middle class women to have an unintentional pregnancy due to birth control costs. So, every woman has the same rights as I do to choose NOT to have babies and go back to work, right?

Ask the GOP. They are scratching their heads and aren’t really sure how to respond. And democratic folks on Capitol Hill like Senator Boxer are left reminding us that “This is the 21st Century.” And:

“Ninety-nine percent of women, including 98 percent of Catholic women have used birth control. And 77 percent of Catholic women voters support requiring insurance plans to cover contraception for free.”

What’s the problem here?

Well, did you see what Congressman Issa decided to do today? He called a panel of men (yes, men) to to discuss the possibility that religious views might actually trump women’s health.

Men are talking about this.

Who care more about their gods and fathers than whether or not their wives have the right to choose when they want to have a family. Or go back to work. Or help pick their families up out of the financial hole this country dug us all into.

These guys HAVE to stop speaking for me.

Because none of this is about equality or choice.

And I’m in the middle of my own local school politics war about a potential 4 day school week in my county. An “impartial” task force was formed to discuss the possibility. At last night’s meeting, it seems this group is speaking for me, too. They seem quite ready to neatly — and fairly quietly — nudge this option along and sweep the deficit under the carpet by taking away my children’s school time.

Oh you guys had better stop speaking for me. AND my children.

I’m all kinds of fed up. Because people are speaking for me and treating my values — equality, choice and love — as if they were outrageous, anti-family values, and something that actually needs fixing.

Our political leaders speak for all of us. Because we hired them and we put them there. Write your congressperson, make noise and take this opportunity to speak for yourself before we’re left with a bottle of Bayer aspirin and so many fewer rights than we thought we had in (what century? Oh that’s right, the 21st, thanks Senator) the first place.

8 comments ↓

#1 Kate on 02.16.12 at 9:57 pm

I’m with you – NONE of them speak for me. And Santorum… he’s a bit of a relic when it comes to women. have you seen the bits about his 2005 bio that his wife wrote parts of and he gave her no credit for?

#2 Yasmine27 on 02.20.12 at 1:37 pm

You have the points here, and I like your views about the issues, especially about using birth control.
I am a Roman Catholic, but I still believe too, that we should be aware about our population. Many people don’t have jobs and many children are starving. I just can’t get why the church cannot see this problem? Natural way of birth control can’t solve this dilemma.
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#3 Krizelle on 02.22.12 at 6:08 am

I agree that a partners must undergo in a parenting method in order to aware in every decision they made, just like having a children… Parent’s must consider their status and needs to provides in every number of children they want too…
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#4 Nan on 02.24.12 at 1:24 pm

You are a lover AND a fighter. You not only don’t allow others to speak for you, but you speak up for yourself and those not able. Your values are also where they should be. I am so unbelievably blessed to know you and have you in my family!

#5 Sarah@budgetfriendlydecorating on 02.26.12 at 6:26 pm

Thanks so much for this post, it is about time that somebody said something about the one million moms. My goodness, we all don’t fit that group. Quite frankly I am fine with Ellen doing the JC Penny ads!
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#6 isabella057 on 03.01.12 at 5:24 am

I know that we are already over populated and we need to something about this. We should not let our children suffered from what we caused. We should give them the best life which are rightful for them. I’m not not against the Bible, and I believe in the Bible, but we should be also positive and practical.
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#7 Heather on 06.12.12 at 8:37 am

So glad to have come stumbled across another like-minded Tampa mom! Keep it up!

#8 Derek Maak on 06.18.12 at 6:37 pm

I absolutely agree with you on the whole Ellen Degeneres thing. Ellen has to be one of the most loving, caring, fun people I have ever seen. Just look at everything she does for people every single day on her show. To not like Ellen because she is gay is total crap. Don’t these million moms have better things to do than sit around and hate on caring, loving people like Ellen who this world needs more of?
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