Entries Tagged 'BlogHer Conference' ↓

I promised a second BlogHer post. You know the one where I tell all of you what I learned there? So I think I’ll start by sharing the questions that I had rattling around in my brain when I arrived. Not that there are clean answers to anything. But understanding the question is the only way to figure out an answer, right?

So here we go.

• What am I doing here?

• Can I really justify being at this fancy shmancy blogging conference?

• Is blogging just a hobby or a real professional gig?

• Can bloggers who write (rather than strictly review) succeed as writers? And I mean as real, legitimate writers?

• How are bloggers really perceived by the outside world? Are they considered writers? Or as people who just write their opinions about products and what their kid just did in his pants?

• How much skill is involved to succeed as a writer? Or is it more about persistence? Or luck? Or perception?

• How much change can a blogger affect by writing? Is writing blog posts about something you feel passionate about enough? Or should you practice what you write more often, so to speak.

• Do companies ever want to engage with bloggers because of their writing? Or do they want us for our readership? Or both?

• How much do bloggers need to brand themselves? Is branding yourself the only way to create a perception that you are kind of a big deal? Does the writing ever speak for itself?

• Does blogging spoil a writer? Is posting everything she thinks a bad idea (rather than work on an idea, expand on it, edit it, perfect it and submit it to something real)?

• If a blog post falls in the forest, does it make any noise if no one is there to hear it? In other words, is blogging ultimately about readership and outreach?

• Can bloggers succeed without being their own PR and legal rep? Or will we all be taken advantage of and wind up blogging for pennies in dingy basements never to see the light of a real, true, “I can pay my bills now” paycheck?

• Does blogging ever give you enough return on your investment? Is it worth all of the hard work?

• Which leads me back to my first question: what am I doing here?

BlogHer had every assortment of panel to sit in on and learn from. And so many amazing people were crammed into those rooms to attempt to answer some of these questions. Conversations were had in hallways, over meals at outdoor cafes, while recharging laptops, rumbling through town in taxis, up in hotel rooms sprawled out on beds and on top of cheeseburger shaped furniture.

Were my questions answered?

Um. Well. Here are the conclusions I’ve come to. For what they’re worth.

• Blogging can be just a hobby. But it can definitely work to your advantage in your profession, whatever that might be. It’s up to you.

• No one will hand you a writing career on a silver platter, no matter how many posts a week you crank out.

• Blogging for and about stuff is most certainly not the same as blogging for the sake of writing. But both are blogging. And that’s ok.

• Yes, perception (yours, your reader’s, the non blogging world’s) absolutely matters.

• Writers get better by writing. So keep writing. Where ever, whenever. Writers also get better by reading so don’t forget to read and connect with other writers.

• Companies really really like your readership. But. They might like the magic you write to make that readership come to you in the first place too. And they hope you can spin a spell about their stuff with your words. That is valuable. If you want it to be.

• The number of comments or size of your readership is most certainly not an accurate reflection on the quality of your writing. At least that’s what they keep telling me.

• Bloggers CAN affect change just by writing. They really, truly, without a doubt can. (And I adore all the women who tackled me to say so after I asked that question at a panel.)

• Decide what you want from blogging. Then decide if pushing your own “brand” will then get you what you want. Bloggers blog for many different reasons so how you approach blogging does not need to be the same.

• People should read your posts and hear your voice. Because blogging is not just about your writing but most importantly about conversations, connecting and reaching out to an important community.

• Yes blogging is worth it for the friendship, the growth, the self-evaluation, the support, for so so much we just can’t put a price tag on. But is it worth it for the money? Um. No.

• Yes writers can make money writing. Or so I hear.

So what am I doing here?

My blog is my home. It is my most comfy chair, with my most comfy blanket thrown over top, with a cup of cocoa, a really good movie on and my cat curled at my feet. I love it here. I’m not going anywhere. It is here where I will practice this concept of “writing” – I’ll kick it around, try it on, spin it in front of a mirror and see how it looks.

As for writing as a profession, I’ll just keep plugging away at other venues and see where it takes me – one itty bitty paycheck at a time.

So was being at BlogHer worth it? Yes, I think so. It’s breath-taking to be part of something so incredible with such a powerful voice. And I adored seeing all of my friends. It was as if my twitter stream had come to life – all of those avatars had grown legs and were passing me left and right in the hallway. It was kind of great. Plus I think justifying anything empowering for me – when I give myself so little most of the time – is totally ok.

Sure, I still kind of struggle with my blogging identity. But that’s ok too. Because the minute I get too comfortable I won’t challenge myself, I won’t grow, I won’t get better at any of it.

So, one more time, what am I doing here?

I writing. And connecting. It’s as simple as that.

So I went to BlogHer10 this year.

And it was in New York City.

Have you ever been to New York City? There is something very special about that place. Maybe it’s the concentration of people, voices, talent, needs, ideas, power, drive, hope, movement… I don’t know, whatever it is, New York City has it’s own inner energy and momentum, creating, self-sustainable, humming and alive. Visitors satellite around, are pulled in, overwhelmed, and spun back out into space.

And BlogHer was here this year.

I arrived with my father actually. While I was at the wheel of his Jeep, he read the Garmin’s instructions patiently. Through it all, Bob Marley played the entire way. Cars cutting me off, speeding parkways, death-defying lane changes, traffic, traffic, traffic. Every little thing was gonna be alright.

We rode the elevator to the 41st floor, my ears popped while we watched CNN on a small monitor. New York doesn’t want you to miss a thing it seems.

I said I would be back in a minute, I just wanted to go down to register for the conference. But as soon as I stepped off the elevator, I heard it, I saw it, I felt it. That crackle of NYC’s potential seemed focused into this very space. Women everywhere, reuniting, talking, screaming, laughing, walking, running, dancing, snapping pictures, flip cameras out, chatting in line.

Whoa.

I waited for my turn, not quite ready to take it all in yet. Not sure where to hop into this intensity. After I was registered and had collected myself, I made an awkward leap. And landed somewhere into the mix. I was along for the ride.

I spent four days orbiting within this experience. I connected with dear friends and met wonderful new ones. Blazing stars and inspiring voices whirled about me, radiated before me – encouraging me and then went shooting by. There were so many hugs, so much surprising enthusiasm, so much “Wow, Morningside Mom, Hi!!!”. (Huh?) So so much unexpected generosity. These people became much more than their words read usually at a safe distance. And these people were brilliant, almost blinding.

I have more to say, of course. But I needed to get this post out of my system. I needed to explain what the vibe was in that space. Why simply walking into a room overwhelmed me so intensely, it sent my system far into the red. The recharge room wasn’t even enough. So often I would stagger back to my room, lie on my bed, and stare.

Whoa.

I’ll also admit that I was a bit lost in this experience. I wasn’t sure where to look next or how to hold tight and stop and find people. There were a lot of people I never saw. A lot. This might have been my biggest regret. I think they were spinning right by me but I couldn’t always see them in all of it. So when I did grab one and tried to slow both of us down just to connect, a hundred others seemed to rocket by. I even had friends outside of BlogHer that were there that I never saw. Even my poor father could only reconnect with me now and then. He was overwhelmed by it all too.

So I’ll be back with more. But really. For those who weren’t there. Imagine this concentrated, spinning, exploding, energized space filled with thoughts and voices and differences and debates and ideas and personalities that dared you to hold on tight, to somehow stay in orbit or else find yourself launched into the periphery. It was a challenge but I held on and had quite a ride.

But now I am here, back in my own quiet rotation, far from the Mothership. And I’m processing, thinking, reconsidering and hoping I’ve become a better person, blogger, writer and friend out of all of it. I hope.

Whoa, though.

What a ride. What a ride.

After two weeks of living on a sandy peninsula void of much online access to anything however surrounded by national seashore, some combination of visiting family, far too many fried seafood joints, and my very content although browned, mosquito bitten, bathing suited children - I am finally packing up.

Vacation time is just about over.

In a few days, I will be depositing my summer boys with their dad and so many hugs and kisses before they all head back to Tampa. But I’m not heading back to Tampa with them. Not quite yet at least.

Where could I be headed you ask?

After a blogless, wifi-less, nature filled, sandy footed two weeks far from the hustle and bustle of anything much at all, I am leaping head first into the very antithesis of this wonderfully unplugged time out.

I’m headed to BlogHer in NYC.

Hundreds and hundreds of bloggers and dear friends and so so many people I want to see but may not get to or will possibly in passing with humming laptops all logged in with endless tabs open and twitter convos underscoring every panel discussion alongside meet ups in lobbies and coffee spots and karaoke bars and parties and this and that and who knows whatever the hell else all while camping out with two blogging besties in the Hilton in New York City which already has enough hustle and bustle thank you very much to make my over-sunned mind totally and utterly stim out.

But I’m not complaining. Surrounding myself with smart, interesting people in NYC is exactly what I need before I leap into the usual routine of school days, car pick up lines, baseball practice, homework, and mac n cheese dinners.
 
Will you be there? Post here so I know to look out for you.

See you in NYC.

I did something a little insane today. I bought my conference ticket to BlogHer 2010.

Some of you might be thinking that’s not so nuts. In fact, its a smart and expected move for most women (and even some men) bloggers today. Because if you want blogging networking? BlogHer will give you blogging networking. And then some. Thousands of people come together at these annual events, all connecting and relating and speaking at podiums and hunched over laptops and checking out the latest techie stuff or parenting gadget and making amazing ideas come to life deep within the belly of the Hilton NYC.

So frigging pumped.

But I’m kind of insane to be considering this. Why?

Well for one, blogging – as much as I truly, from the heart, absolutely adore doing it – brings me very little income to justify the expense. Sure sure, I got the early bird pricing but egads, thats a lot for us as is.

My blogging friends tell me to find a sponsor. And you all know I’m down for that. But I certainly can’t count on it either.

Also, I have two kids. Yeah yeah, I know, like no one else going to BlogHer has kids. But I have a husband with a keee-razy work schedule. And no right-next-door family to come to the rescue. I have some ideas and I know my husband will do what he can to make it work out – but I am nuts-o for registering when it usually takes small miracles to make sure my kids are covered.

But I am going to give it a red hot go. It can’t hurt to try. There is far too much blogging wonderfulness planned NOT to try. And you know what else? I kind of like conferences. I kind of LIKE talking to people and big crowds and excitement and meeting new people. Not that I don’t get nervous and all up in my own head, especially when I’m used to relating to the blogging world through words. I just really really like to talk in real life too, that’s all. And I’m thinking NYC + BlogHer2010 = me getting to put my blogging mouth in motion a whole lot.

Ok. So I’ve justified the insane cost of BlogHer because I like to TALK a lot. Awesome.

Wish me luck people.

…I’m off to go breathe into a paper bag for awhile.

So, like many bloggers out there right now – I’m packing. But this doesn’t exactly look like the kinds of things most of us would be packing for BlogHer, does it? You know what I’m talking about: the cute dresses, shoes, cameras, computer paraphenalia and casual but confident conference outfits… Nope, these things look suspiciously “little boy-ish”. So why is that? Well, I’m actually not headed to BlogHer this year.

I almost was. My husband bought me a ticket for Christmas in fact. I was beyond thrilled. I couldn’t wait. Last year was phenomenal and now this year, having met so many more blogging bas-asses, I knew would be even better. I couldn’t wait. I couldn’t wait!

But then we got a call. My wonderful sister in law announced that she’s getting married! And the date has been specially chosen to be on her grandparent’s anniversary. Friday, July 25th. We were thrilled for her. We love her and her husband to be. Plus this is the last family wedding for a long while, we all would be together and we all couldn’t wait.

Just. No BlogHer this year, that’s all.

I put the word out on Twitter I wasn’t going and I sold my ticket within days. But what we saved from that actually paid for my blog makeover awhile back. So it’s all good.

Anyhoo, I thought I would post here to explain my absence. If. Just in case. It’s at all. Noticed. Heh.

Anyway, while you all are lining up to get your creds, I’ll be lining up my two sons and husband in their crisp tuxes, readying them for a trip down the aisle to stand besides my sister in law and her husband to be.

And certainly, if you know my children at all by now, you are probably wondering how tuxes and slow, behaved walking down an aisle will work out. Yeah. I’ll keep you posted. No doubt, hilarity will ensue and I will be typing about their shenanigans in the coming week.

And if I don’t? It’s because I’m keeeerazy busy doing the family thing, the driving 12 hours one way thing, the keeping my kids from pushing their cousin into the pool thing, the general wacky uber exhausting vacation… thing.

But to all my blogging peeps heading to Chicago, ENJOY BLOGHER! I can’t wait to read your posts. And if I don’t see any of you at the Type A Mom Conference in September, I will certainly see you next year at BlogHer.

Happy travels everyone!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-5dn8IscXc] 

Voila! I present to you the first video ever taken by *moi* and my new HD Canon video camera! And who is the subject of my first video? None other than the most famous mom blogger ever, Dooce. And where was this video taken? Where else but BlogHer 08. Granted I am hardly a professional movie maker, its kind of jerky (but *whine* my arm was getting so tired). Still. The picture, the subject, the whole thing. Pretty fly, no?

(Does anyone ever use the word “fly” anymore? Or did that go the way of the Running Man, MC Hammer pants and “Criss Cross will make you jump, jump”… It did? Whatever, cut me a break. I’m a 35 year old mom, “getting out” is drinking a bottle of wine with mom friends in my driveway with the monitor on.)

But back to the camera. Before I left to BlogHer, I was offered this laptop and video camera to review by a cool little PR company called Buzz Corp. They are good people – I’d say they are even pretty “fly” folks (No? Time to let that one go?) – who seem very focused on the mom blogger perspective and what products make us tick. (And I will also say they are not paying me a lick to say anything about them. Shoot, there wasn’t even any pressure to post about any of this.)

Well. I can certainly tell you, my HP Pavilion laptop makes me more than tick. It makes me purr. It makes me sing. It makes this little ol mommy blogger positively resonate at every possible frequency. I love this thing. I live on this thing. All I need is some sort of security “add-on” against myself, where upon at a certain time limit it will snap shut and shoo me away from it.

And the HD Canon video camera is small, easy to use and takes the clearest picture I’ve seen. I only recently started playing with it for real (other than just taking video) once I got the fire-wire I needed. Granted, after scratching my head for the last month or so, I admit I didn’t realize I needed one until my tech savvy brother walked me through video camera 101. I learned – ahem, after reading the manual, blush – that the firewire does not come with the camera. I gather that is standard, but was only just an additional $6.00 online at Office max. So anyway, the fire-wire arrived, I plugged it all in and it hummed to life.

Over the past few days, I have been playing around with Windows Movie Maker. WHOA. Cool. Fer real. And this afternoon, I popped out this one cut from BlogHer of Heather speaking. She’s funny. The whole thing was great. I just now wish I had that camera roped to my head and caught absolutely everything I experienced - every speaker, every panel, every conversation - on film. I am now trying to grasp the concept that I can capture what I see, and not just simply write about it. Huh. Oh the possibilities.

Anyway, many many thanks to Buzz Corp. Please enjoy Dooce at BlogHer. I just wish I had more to share of the panel. But you can be sure there will be many more videos to come in the future.

(Oh and quick sidebar: If and when I ever review products here, I promise you, I will only review things I actually find to be quality products I truly support. Please consider my opinion legitimately my opinion. Crazy to have to qualify that but you get me, right? Thanks folks.)

For more information about the HP products I review, please visit my HP Update page.

I have this thing about karma. Or at least I have a thing about my own pseudo-semi-spiritual notion of what it means. My kind of karma, the “Caroline” definition of Karma (and forgive me real karma people for butchering it’s true meaning) is to give and give and give. And when you give, you will get back what you deserve. I also know karma is about balance and for every good there is a bad. Yin, yang, good, bad, bladdy bladdy blah. But I am completely down with my little karma concept in that we just have to take care of one another and the universe will be sure you get yours in the long run.

So, then I went to BlogHer. (I know I know, I am talking about it again. But one post this conference does not suffice. I think this might be the last one though, ok?) And, while I sat in sessions and kept a fairly low profile, the gears in my brain were working overtime to absorb and learn as much as I possibly could. I think the session that Kacey summarizes nicely might be my greatest inspiration, but I seemed to pick this concept up more and more throughout all of the sessions I attended and after the many conversations I had.

And now, a few weeks have passed, and I want to share the big lesson, the big “ah-ha”, light bulb going over my head, bit of knowledge that has bubbled up to the surface of my brain and truly enlightened me. That lesson is:

A good blogger practices good blogger karma.

(Cue bright beam of light on my blog, angels singing from above.)

And what do I mean by that? Well, you may have heard what I am talking about in slightly more down to earth terms but I am going to put a spiritual spin on it here. So, after all that listening and stewing, this is how I think one practices good blogger karma.

A good blogger should reach out, make time for and respect the community of bloggers you are writing amongst. As anti-social as writing by yourself at your computer may seem, let’s face it, blogging is a community oriented mode of expression. And for your blog to succeed, you need to care about the bloggers around you. Because they are there, reading you, watching you, and considering what you have to say. So for as much time as you might spend on your own blog (writing, tinkering, stat watching, widgeting or what have you), you should spend an equal amount of time reading and reaching out to other bloggers. To achieve true blogger karma, you might want to consider the following:

• Comments: Visit blogs, read them well, and make a smart comment. Care about the blogs you read.
• Link: If you really were inspired by another blog, be sure to link to it in yours. Give it the public props it deserves
• If you are on twitter, and you enjoyed someone else’s post, link your followers to it on Twitter. Don’t get too caught up on linking to your posts all the time on twitter either
• Join and load up Stumble It. And then click on “I like it” for any posts you read that you like. Take the time to add the categories and tags approprite to that post
• Add your favorite blogs to your blogroll
• Be nice and reach out to other bloggers by email, twitter, comments or through any of the various community networks

Again, I know most of you have probably heard this all before. But do we all really take just as much time to reach out to other bloggers as we do to our own blog? That’s hard to do, right? But you really need to care about those other bloggers. A lot. You need to give them credit and pay their posts forward. Perform random acts of blogging kindness. Comment. Twitter, Stumble It. Kirtsy it. Email. Post it on Facebook. Just give your energy, your time and your heart, dammit. You have nothing to lose and so much blogging karma to gain.

I remember when I first started blogging, and I thought it seemed extremely self-involved. I mean, c’mon. Writing endless paragraphs about stuff I am thinking about, and then pushing a button to put it out there for the web-savvy masses to read? Did I REALLY think I had anything THAT important to say? I felt like it was a tad self-indulgant and felt a little embarressed I would assume my writing would and should be read.

But now, this new concept of blogging karma has been a wonderful bit of enlightenment. It helps me feel more justified to ramble on about my own semi-brilliant thoughts in a blog post when I know I will do my bit to support other blogs once I’m done. What a relief that is to me.

And sure, you don’t HAVE to practice blogging karma. You can write your stuff and do your thing and twitter about yourself all day (like I have today… Did you hear? C. pooped in the potty!) and maybe occasionally check out some post here and there that got your attention… but then what are you learning, really? And, will your blog grow at all? And, lets not forget – what I know you probably care about most - WILL people really come check your blog out if you don’t bother to check out theirs? Just consider it, ok?

Now that being said, ENOUGH ABOUT ME. (ha… I crack myself up.) I am off to peruse the wonderful world of smart bloggers everywhere. I will wave my Stumble It wand and sprinkle well thought out comments everywhere….

Ugh, ok. All this positive “be good to your fellow blogger” crap might have just reached it saturation point and is getting to be a touch much. Even for me. (gag.)

But you know what I mean.

Just get out there and go be nice.

We are finally back home. I still have bags to unpack. More laundry must be done. Another trip to the grocery store for items other than milk and bread might be nice. There are bills to pay, school supply checklists to complete, and phone calls to return.

And yet, here I sit. With my BlogHer gear spread out around me. My name tag is hanging on the wall while business cards, brochures, buttons, stickers and other various types of swag are dumped out here on my desk.

I am ready to remember my fabulous trip to San Francisco.

Or perhaps I’d like to click my heels and wish myself back there.

Some people like to call it BlogHer 08, but I like to think of it as the Magical Mommy Mystery Tour. What a wonderful, crazy trip it was.

(Be prepared my loyal readers. This post may be a doozy and even a bit too long for me to stand. But this conference, like this post, was overwhelming, lengthy, and a tidal wave of blogging information in of itself.)

It all started on a Thursday. I leaped onto a plane with my laptop strapped to my back, leaving my swirling world of mommy groundhog day in the capable hands of my husband. Five hours later I found myself in SF, being picked up by my long lost college roommate, her three boys and current boyfriend. She lives in Mendicino and lives a wonderful organic lifestyle on a farm there. We piled into the van, the smell of incense was thick, she offered me a sip of her raw chocolate milkshake. Oh thank the heavens, I was soooo not in Kansas Florida anymore.

We bounced through the city and met up with another long lost but equally wonderful college friend of mine whom I would be staying with. She’s an artist and has a piece hanging in gallery downtown. We stopped in to check it out. Art. Oh what a fabulous luxury to make, enjoy, consider and be a part of. ESPECIALLY without my children to wrangle. I have to give her a shout-out. You can find her here. She is amazing and I am so damn proud of her!

That night I reconnected with the old me. The me in college, the non-mommy me, seen through the eyes of old friends with good memories. Rejuvenated and officially back in touch with that that old self of mine, the next morning I was dropped off at 7:45am in front of the Westin-St. Francis Hotel. Again, I had my trusty HP laptop backpack strapped to my back (perhaps as my own blogging parachute of sorts) and I crossed the street to make my way into the hotel.

Deep breaths. Ok, where should I go? Is it really even here? What if the whole BlogHer thing is only a part of some online fantasy world. I mean, c’mon… bloggers? In REAL life? Could it even be possible? And then I saw a sign pointing me in the direction of registration. As I reached the top of the staircase, there I found a long line of women – blogging women – waiting, chatting, various and interesting. I found my place, got my name tag, my swag bag, and was off.

The maze of rooms, ballrooms, and hallways threw me right away. Where could I sit down? My overwhelmed brain was attracted and distracted by the flashing lights and stim from every direction. Table after table of vendors offered cool gadgets and big smiles. A group of women were playing Wii Fit in front of a flat screen TV. Smells of coffee, roombas vacuuming at my feet, computer screens flashing, laughter, women, even TV cameras and then a large blue mascot standing in front of me for some new PBS kids show… c’mon, hold on a sec, I can’t quite absorb all this… I need to eat first… where could I sit down? Finally, there was the grand ballroom filled with empty tables and I plopped down to eat my bagel.

The first two women I met were amazing. Shark Fu – aka Angry Black Bitch – to my left and Zanaru at Create It Herself to my right, the conversation was fun and light and I was so glad to meet them both. As the morning went on, I met Moosh in Indy, Mama Spohr, Susan Wenner Jackson from Working Moms Against Guilt, and Kim Sue Ellen from Simply me. I met Lucrecer from Art Slam- what a cool blog! And Allese Thomson just starting out at Behind the Make-up had such interesting things to say.

I jumped into my first break-out session: Is mommy blogging still a radical act?  Watch part of it for yourself. It was one of the best sessions. I am also now a huge fan of Polly Pagenhart, otherwise known as Lesbian Dad.

Then I went to a mommy blogging session on Parenting and Privacy. It was there I met Christine Rury from Home Team Wins- we sat and stressed over the pictures of our children on our blogs that could be photoshopped, stolen – oh man, what were we doing to our babies? Out there in mommblogger land, the kosher amount of information we share about our children seems to run the gamut. Some don’t post their children at all, some post pics and their full names. It’s a personal choice. And I realized what sort of reality show and entertainment for the masses blogging can be.

I met more cool women over food, in the halls, having coffee: Clairenation, Lara David, Spinning Yellow, Stimey (I blame you for my new Twitter addiction! Honestly, I am glad I got over it and joined. It was so great to meet you.), ShallowGal, Crummy Cupcake, Anne Fritz from The Jet Set Girls, Katherine Gray of Dirt to Dish, and Vampituidty.

But wait. I can’t forget my new friend Terri who works with HP. She helped me get my new laptop and video camera up and running. Supportive, smart and so positive about blogging, Terri was a wonderful friend to have there! And if it weren’t for Terri, I never would have gotten video footage of me meeting a true celebrity, recognized far beyond the world of blogging: Grover and Abby Cadabby from Sesame Street. Actually, what was really fun was talking to the voice behind Grover, and she caught that too. I hope to post the video soon.

Before BlogHer wrapped up for the day, there was a community keynote with about 20 bloggers reading various posts of theirs. I gather BlogHer will be posting more of the readings from that evening. Honestly, people, these speakers were AMAZING - and you can watch the first speaker here.

That night, the bloggers made there way to an uber-hip club called Ruby Skye. It was very cool but I felt frumpy. I was still in the same clothes since I did not have a chance to change. But the food was great and I met an awesome mommy blogger: Tricia from Four Plus Four Equals Ten. We chatted, compared notes on the day and missed our kids together. On the way out the door, I met two more very cool bloggers. Military mama whom I follow and had her sweet little one with her asleep on her shoulder. And then Deb on the Rocks – and she actually does rock, no doubt.

The next morning, I felt a little less peppy and a lot more weary. I sat down from some breakfast, hardly feeling exactly witty or on my “A” game. And who should make her way and find a seat next to little ol’ me? One of my fav bloggers ever: Pundit Mom.

Um, ok. How do I NOT look like a dork? How do I just chill out and seem as unstalker-ish as possible. I did my best, I really did Pundit Mom. Not sure if it worked though. But I’ll gush here because I can: I think you’re really smart and cool and it was honestly an honor to meet you. And thanks for the little Pundit Mom pin, I wore it the rest of the day. (I know I know, my friends. I am a big old nerd.)

I also met A Girl and a Boy who is now expecting a boy! Congrats to her! And then met Slouching Mom and I am now an official fan of her site too.

Revived by the cool bloggers I had met, I slung my backpack over my shoulder, found my way through the maze of hallways and pushed into the most crowded session I had been to yet: How we communicatre building traffic via content and community. I found a small spot on the floor, I could hardly see the speaker, but solomenly took notes on my laptop. It was an excellent session and I learned a great deal. Phew though, I guess I have a looong way to go.

The day continued and onto more sessions I went. My bag got heavier, the jet lag was catching up to me and I finally found myself hiding in corners just to catch up on email and try not to make too much eye contact. I had a feeling the women huddled over their own laptops here and there felt the same way too.

A quick note about the “high school”ish reputation BlogHer seems to get. Eh, I guess there was the cool crowd, the cliquish types and even the star bloggers (who are probably so nice) that I couldn’t quite bring myself to say hi to. (Julie Pippert, you’re one of them, as well as Mom-101 and Queen of Spain. WHY didn’t I just suck it up and say hi??? Silly me.) Here’s the thing. I went to a women’s college (go yoke!)and I “get” women together. Sure, you’ll have some catty stuff here and there. But I honestly think most women just aren’t used to being in an all women’s environment. They ASSUME catty stuff, gossiping and backstabbing is happening all around them. However, I’d bet if you did go up and chat to that cool group of women laughing about whatever, they would gladly have you jump in on the conversation. Women seem programmed to think other women will rip them down. It’s very discouraging. I honestly have more faith in women than that. All women environments can actually bring more strength and confidence than you can imagine. There is camaraderie, there is room for everyone to be a leader, there is no glass ceiling. It might just be hard to figure that out in a couple days, where everyone is feeling insecure and outed when they usually are somewhat hidden by the blogosphere. It certainly makes for an interesting dynamic. But enough about that.

The final highlight of the day was the Closing Keynote speakers: Heather Armstrong and Stephanie Klein. We all gathered in the grand ballroom, excited and twittering “DOOCE DOOCE DOOCE DOOCE”, our laptop screens lit up like lighters at a concert. They were great. We hung on their every word. I am not a regular reader of either but to see such successful bloggers talk about their lives in the public eye was fascinating and extraordinarily eyeopening.

That night I had a red-eye to catch home. I popped into the party over at Macy’s briefly but I just couldn’t hustle up the party-girl in me to get too fired up and stay for very long. Instead, I hauled my stuff to the lobby and called my husband. I was ready to come home.

But BlogHer had one more surprise up her sleeve for me. As I got settled into the airport shuttle van, who should I run into? But two other bloggers, of course. Not just bloggers, but panel speakers. Adele at A book Without a Coverand Shaz at Shaziamistry. We were fast friends and had an early dinner together at the airport before parting ways (Adele, I hope you made your flight! My tweezers DID make it through security, by the way…). I would recommend checking out Shaz’s website if you are a newbie blogger. She has all sorts of techie advice, especially hints about wordpress! If you want real in-depth help, she loves Starbucks (hint hint)… or I am sure she wouldn’t mind being paid for real either. But what a wonderful treat to meet such cool women on the heels of such an amazing event.

And with that, I climbed onto the plane. I popped my contacts out, said a prayer of thanks there was no “Mr. McFeely” or possible groper seated next to me to worry about, and fell fast asleep.

Friends, if you have made it to the bottom of this post, a round of applause to you for sticking out BlogHer 08 with me. And stay tuned for Grover and Abby Cadabby video coming up soon! Now I better clean all this BlogHer stuff up, it’s like I am pining away about my college days or something. Sheesh.

(p.s. Did you see the BlogHer 08 write up in the NY Times? And then I also found Pundit Mom’s response pretty interesting too.)

During one of these “not so beach weather” days, my family and I took a drive up to Provincetown to poke around. It’s a favorite spot of mine, where you’ll find generations of Portuguese fishermen and historical homes along side contemporary restaurants and galleries. A place where you will find couples walking hand in hand down the street, in open adoration of one another, whether they be grandparents in fanny packs or gay men in assless chaps. Open, welcoming, cool stores, cute New England charm and the perfect solution for an otherwise dreary day.

Provincetown is also home to my favorite book store of all time. A far cry from Barnes and Nobles or Amazon.com, Tim’s Used Books is a little gem. A home converted into a bookstore, it is nestled off the main road, awaiting avid readers of every persuasion. I was thrilled to get a chance to visit once again. I put in my request for a quick 15 minute respite of “me time” and my dear husband took the kids to go look at boats.

I stepped through the doorway and was in my glory. As I wandered around, stacks upon stacks upon shelves upon shelves of books greeted me. There were hand written labels here and there on shelves declaring some level of organization. But really, it’s a place to wander quietly, shuffle about lost in your thoughts and find that wonderful book you’ve always wanted, gently used and reasonably price. I found two. While not book titles I had always wanted, they were of interest. Both “self help” books of sorts to help myself with two loves of mine: raising boys and writing. I knew very little about either title but they might be something to curl up with if the rain refused to cease but, miraculously, my children’s wrestling did.

When I was ready to pay for my treasures, I found a woman reading next to a very old register at the front of the store.

“Oh, you’re interested in non-fiction writing.”

Shyly (I felt a bit outed) I replied “…Um, yeah, I guess.”

“Well, the key is to use a lot of description. That’s really all it is.”

(Sidebar: Use a lot of description? Uh-huh. And if that’s what I have done so far in this post, I hardly consider this a successful tact in a blog. All this chatter about P-Town and you all don’t even know what my point IS yet, do you? My guess is that she soooo doesn’t know very much about blogging, now does she?)

And then, oh so confident, the woman at the till exclaimed that she was, in fact, a writer. And then, while she hand wrote the titles of my books in a log next to her, she read the various names of the non-fiction writers I would be reading about outloud – some of whom had been in that very store.

“Oh, well. I am kind of new to this writing thing anyway. I am actually blogging now so… I am just trying to get better… um… you know…. express myself…”

She stopped what she was doing and looked up at me.

“Oh. Blogging. Well, I don’t write for free.”

And with that, this smug bookstore keeper – oh I’m sorry - this smug writer, sent my post-BlogHer brain into a spin of questions.

Is writing for free really such a bad thing? Is there a point to blogging for free? What IS this blogging thing for? Why do I spend so much time doing this anyway? And is blogging considered a legitimate form of writing? Is it respected out there amongst “real” writers?

After all the time and energy I have focused over the past few months on blogging, where the hell am I going with this?

Now, not every blogger writes for free. During the conference, there was a great deal of discussion about how to make money from blogging. Whether that be advertisements, blogging for specific companies or snagging an elusive book deal, all of my fellow conference attendees seemed to be scrambling to learn how to grab their piece of the pie.

(Forgive me, another sidebar: I have a theory. While I went to Blogher on someone else’s dime – again thank you wonderful BlogHer women – I know my fellow conference attendees got a fair amount of crap for going to this conference. I heard time and again how loved ones asked fellow bloggers why they were spending money to attend a conference about something you do for free. So my guess is that most of the women there, while adoring their blog, felt some sense of responsibility to learn how to earn a buck while doing so and then tell their significant others that’s why they attended this conference in the first place. Shoot, I was at those sessions too, I get it.)

Regardless, even as I sat in those sessions, I know I ultimately struggled with the whole focus on blogging for money. And after reading Slouching Mom’s recent post, I am obviously no the only one. I worry what happens to the integrity of the blog once the author starts writing for money. Does it stop being a love and start being more of a grind?

…I gotta get more advertisers, I gotta get my readership up, I gotta write something everyone will like, I gotta write everyday…

If it’s that much work, it’s just not fun anymore, is it?

But let me be clear. If I could blog and be paid enough for one trip to the grocery store or one trip to fill up my Saturn or make enough to pay one monthly electric bill… cha-ching. What a glorious thing even that little bit would be. And if a fellow blogger manages to make more than that? Well, you go, more power to you. If I could be so lucky. As long as the heart of that blog remains and the money is just a nice benefit on the side, be the blogging business you wanna be.

But still, I find myself back at my starting point. Blogging for a tank of gas is hardly a job. And it’s hardly justification for the hours I spend writing, editing, thinking and hunched over my computer.

And to underscore my point, do you know how long this post has taken me to write? I have two children. I am in charge of them. THAT is my job. Blogging away hours of my day is NOT my job.

So where am I going with this? While I used to write some copy for my previous real-life job (many moons ago before kids), I have never been officially paid as a true freelance writer. Apart from my undergraduate liberal arts degree (in Neuroscience and behavior – super helpful in real life, no?) I don’t have any degrees or official documents stating that I can write. And I wouldn’t know where to begin to start as an official writer. All I got is my new used book about how to write and this little self serving blog. Where I write. FOR FREE.

I guess I am just having a bad blogging day. 

I guess I have had to explain where I was last weekend a little too often.

“What kind of conference was that?” “What exactly IS blogging?” “Where do you even find time to do something like that?” “Don’t you worry about sexual predators stalking you and your family on the internet?”

Oy.

As a quick reminder to myself, I know there are so many reasons why I blog which do justify all the time and effort I have invested here. There is no price tag on sanity, right? Blogging has given a little bit of that back to me. You all have heard it before, it has released me from the circular mommy groundhog day that I was living in. It is an extremely satisfying creative outlet indeed. So yay me. I should keep doing it. And I will keep doing it. And all the planets, and stars and signs are telling me I MUST do it.

But I think it’s ok to question it. And truly determine why it is that we do blog before we are peppered with questions about it, before we sign on for advertisements, and before we run into smug shopkeepers that don’t quite get it. Like some sort of blogger’s mission statement, we should all carve out, own and proudly display our reasons to blog.

Cripes, I think I might even write a mission statement. Anyone else interested in doing so? If you are, post it below. I need a little inspiration today.

And in my next post – which may not be fore a few days now – I hope to recapture the energy and excitement of BlogHer 08 and link (which is blogger lingo for “introduce”) you to some really amazing women I happened to meet. I need to remember and just get PSYCHED again, dammit.

Because we should not have to apologize for blogging. Even if it’s for free. Blogging regularly makes us better writers. Blogging for nothing means we truly love to write. Blogging is taking the first ammendment to heart. Blogging should never be exploited or biased. Blogging doesn’t have editors hasseling you over your every word. Blogging shoots straight from the hip and is as honest as anything you will ever find. Blogging is something to be respected - not snubbed.

Well, enough from me today. It is 4:30 in the afternoon, we leave tomorrow and the sun has finally come out. Can you believe this? Time to actually go find the bathing suits and untangle my wrestling boys on the floor next to me.

My parting words? Blog it, mean it, love it and then leave it. Now finally, off to the beach.

I have returned safely from BlogHer08 and slipped back into vacation life with my family. But here I sit. Vaguely slack jawed, short of breath, over-stimmed and kinda tweaked out. BlogHer08. It got to me. It’s as if my inner blogging hard drive uploaded some monstrous load of software and now it just needs to reboot before it can function at all. There is far too much to process, too many business cards to look through, pictures to upload and blogs to visit. I’m not ready to post about it (but I will be, oh, I will be). 

And oh no. A techie analogy. And I am SO not techie. What has HAPPENED to me?

See, clearly BlogHer got under my skin. Like pouring water on a Gremlin or discovering new super hero Spidie-Senses after being bitten by the BlogHer bug… there is no turning back now. Blogging is running in my veins, has me dreaming in widgets and seeing in technorati.

And do you know what else BlogHer08 did to me? Those sneaky sneaky women. Like crafty drug pushers, all whispering in the hallways between sessions “you gotta do it, you gotta try it, EVERYBODY (there) is doing it”… I DID do it. During an insane moment at a table surrounded by women silently tweeting away to one another in a frenzy, I signed up for Twitter. For the networking possibilities, I told myself. For the good of my blog, I rationalized. Uh-huh. As the 3 R’s says, I’ve drunk the Kool-aid now. There’s no turning back. A blogging Gremlin cracked out on Twitter. Get me to rehab. FAST.

So that’s really what I am doing here. I have put myself into a little bit of Blogger’s Rehab. As I type this, I am outside at our tiny family beach cottage, enjoying the peaceful world around me. I am soaking in the silence and watching the sun in the trees while the rest of the household naps. What a beautiful world this is here. Far from the conference site, the sessions, the swag. Just me and my family, together, relaxing our brains and rebooting our inner hard drives. 

However. I can’t help but notice. The birds. Do you know what they are doing? THEY’RE TWEETING.

(….if ya wanna find me on twitter you can find me at “Morningsidemom”, i’m checking it, i’m watching it, everyone thinks I am out here with my book, with my new bff – my HP – tucked safely away in my back pack. No. I am out here, hunched over, I don’t hear the birds… but I hear a whole lot of tweeting… so so much tweeting….)