The girl inside the ticket booth could not have been older than 15. A swath of bottle dyed black hair was swept over eyes, she had braces and a few piercings circling her lips. How did those piercings avoid clashing into her braces? Brain dead from my day, I considered her mouth while the kids bashed my legs and pulled at my arms.
“Uh, you better get here like SO early.” She peered out at me from behind the swath.
“Yeah good call. I was planning on it. How early do you think?”
“Uh, like an hour?” She leaned forward. “Like, at least? I mean, we did the midnight showing here last night? And like every theater? Was sold out. Seriously.” Her eyes were wide now. I was impressed.
“Wow. Ok, I’ll make sure to get here early. Thanks.”
She smiled widely and her braces twinkled. She and I had connected. She was more than half my age and yet she made eye contact and offered her beautiful smile because she was into what I was into at that very moment. Yeah you’ve probably guessed it (*insert reader eyeroll here*). I’m talking about Twilight.
I’ve written about this before. I’ve justified my fascination in about ten different ways. I felt that I needed to get on my soapbox and spout off why I’ve lost myself in this whole saga. And I got on that soapbox because, well, I am a little embarrassed about liking it. I still am.
And now the third movie has come out and I have collected a small crew of women to head out and see it on Saturday.
Acting, special effects and plot aside – I ask only one thing of it. One thing. And that is to escape for two hours. Make me pretend I am not where I am and somewhere very very different instead. Transport and transform me. For two hours. That’s all I ask.
Because have you seen the news recently? Here are some headlines from today alone.
And then there’s the usual stuff. You know, scraping it together to pay the mortgage on a house worth half of that. Parenting boys alone while your husband travels. Never getting anything done – or if done, done well. Ear infections preventing any pool time for two weeks. Forgetting to schedule that mammogram. Frustration over childcare. Screaming tantrums in the grocery line. Jello dropped on the carpet. Missing your mom. A lot.
Life is what it is. Sometimes it’s tough. Sometimes it’s not so bad. Everyone has their stuff. But I am simply looking to the end of this week as a way to check out for two hours into a kind of cheesy, fairly predictable but highly addictive little storyline which takes me out of blistering hot Florida and drops me in a small rainy logging town in the corner of our country.
Is that so bad?
With all the horribleness going on in the world alongside the general stressy crap that goes on in our day to day lives, being this invested in a campy, over commercialised tale about vampires and werewolves fighting over the same girl is hardly anything to get your panties in a bunch about.
Jacob and Edward aside, I’m Team “Mommy go out and get a life”.
I awoke this morning, hair tousled, with a far away gaze and a sly grin. What did I do last night you wonder? Well. Of course you know. I went and saw New Moon.
And before I get any crap for the post I am about to write I want to say two things. Whatever justification I have for my Twilight interest can be found here. Read it and perhaps it will gain me a couple inches of slack. And secondly, I know I know, all crap given is perfectly understood and probably deserved.
You see when I parked my car in front of the theater last Friday, with the kids strapped in the back, car hazards on, and ran up to the ticket counter, I fully realized that being so fired up for a Twilight movie was silly. I knew that.
I KNOW that.
But pride is no matter here.
Escape, reconnecting with the teen within, who the “F” cares, and no kids for a few hours does matter however.
So sue me, “Two tickets for next week’s Friday screening of New Moon, please.” I stuck them in my car visor and looked forward to last night all week.
My fellow Twi-crack-mom and I arrived at the theater early with tickets clutched and “Mom’s night out” lip gloss applied. Once in, we moved to the back of the line waiting for the theater to open. Yes, there were small clutches of tweens in their “Team Edward” t-shirts, but mostly? There were women my age, waiting patiently, hoping no one recognized them (which my friend’s son’s teacher admitted when she was, in fact, recognized.) We waited about 45 minutes until the doors opened, tickets were rechecked and all Twi-freaks present rushed the seats.
Please be rest assured. My friend and I were absolutely laughing at ourselves. We saw humor in our anticipation. We joked that if we were going to do this, we were doing it right. We were committing to this Twilight thing that night, why be half assed? We giggled at the Twilight souvenir cups and promised ourselves some as soon as we were seated.
And honestly? We didn’t expect much. We didn’t. The first movie was just ok. The books were what they were. As addicting as it was, New Moon was my least favorite of all the books. But we were getting a rare Moms night out, with children and daily responsibilities left back in our deed-restricted communities. We’ll make this good even if its wall to wall cheese, teeming with eye rolling teenage angst and super over the top cartoonish CGI. It was all good. Go Twilight. Whatever.
So we scored seats middle center. We scored our souvenir cups. We took pictures. We chatted and wished for wine in our cups instead of Diet Coke.
Not that it mattered. My souvenir cup contained about a gallon of diet coke so I found myself under the influence never the less. I don’t do caffeine all that well. And by the time the lights dimmed, I was jacked the frock UP. That’s me below: wide awake, not blinking, humming with werewolf anticipation and twitching for some Edward action.
“It’s starting. I’m so TOOOTALLY excited and I don’t care. No for real. I’m soooooo into this. Woo hoooooo! Are you excited, I’m excited. I think its starting. Is it starting? Go go go go go New Moon! Wheeeeeee!!!!!!!”
Well. When we walked out of that theater I could not stop smiling. Maybe the Diet Coke was still working its magic but… I wanted to turn around and go right back into the next showing.
Yes. I loved it.
I was lost in the vampire, werewolf, love triangle, teen-aged drama for 2 blissful hours. I can’t remember the last time I was so lost in a movie. (Titanic?)
Sure, I was determined to love this movie. It could have been a steaming pile of over acted crap and I would have probably found a way to like it somehow. I was perfectly aware that I went in using the “kind of average but that’s ok” first Twilight movie as the yard stick by which I measured my evening. My expectations were hardly soaring.
But honestly? New Moon kind of pulled an Empire Strikes Back.
It was so much better than I expected. I loved it. I want to see it again. My fellow Twi-crack-mom thought it was even better than the book. I felt like I just saw the book come to life. I wanted to go back and re-experience it all and lose myself again. Really. I am going again, somehow. And then I want the DVD. And I want the soundtrack. More more more…
Shit. This Twi-crack-mom stuff just notched itself up to the next level.
But when Eclipse is released I don’t think I will be laughing at myself waiting in line an hour before it begins. OMG. I CANNOT WAIT.
Ok. ok.
I’m waiting for it.
Go ahead. Laugh away. Yes, I know. My street cred is in serious peril over this dribble. I know.
And to be fair, MSNBC was far from impressed. Maybe you might consider them as cooler heads prevailing and me simply just a mom that needs to get out more. Maybe my expectations are set so permanently low for fun and excitement that anything escape-ish in nature is a mind blowing experience.
Ugh, well that’s kind of depressing to consider.
Whatever.
Still, I sit here. In a satisfied after-movie glow hoping I can go again with New Moon. Somehow, somewhere… soon. It sure as hell was good for me. Was it good for you?
So. I’m going to finally come out about it. I’ve been quiet for a long time figuring it was no matter, quite sure I’d lose some street cred for saying so anyway. But since I can never keep my trap shut for long… here it goes…
I’m into “Twilight”.
I’ve read the books. I own the movie. I play the soundtrack in the school car-line. And I’m going to “New Moon” as soon as it’s released and I can find a group of Twilight Moms to go with me.
Oh wait. Am I a Twilight Mom now?
And now I see Twilight Mom’s bristle everywhere. Is there anything WRONG with being a Twilight Mom? What am I really trying to say, huh? …What, am I like BETTER than Twilight Moms because I’ve been all closeted and snobby, claiming I’m not INTO teenage vampire books?
Yeah, no. Well. I just. I never thought I’d get into it. Before I even considered dipping my toe into the Twilight series, I joked it off sneering that “Twilight” simply HAD to suck without starring the two Coreys. (Yes, this was my sorry attempt at a humorous reference to the movie “The Lost Boys” which – ironically – I adored as a 14 year old angsty kid).
But then I picked up “Twilight” at an airport to read on the plane. I was indifferent about finally jumping in. *Shrug* it was something to do for three hours. Not expecting to really like it. But of course, I did. A lot. And I surprised myself. And now I just don’t know where that leaves me exactly.
I mean what IS IT about these books anyway?
The series follows the lives of kids half my age while re-introducing a familiar vampire premise (“vampire wants woman he can’t have”) that is as old as Edward himself (maybe older). And further, they are wrestling with moody, predictable teenage stuff that really should be soooo “1987″ for someone like me. AND. I have to say. The writing is only fine, not great, not unpublishable, but nothing to blow your socks off either. Just…eh… fine.
So what is it? Why was I so hooked on “New Moon” that I literally could not put it down for the entire 24 hour period it took to read? I actually found myself cooking, cleaning, *insert daily chore here* and reading at the same time. I would mumble that I’d be right back to my husband and steal away to read another chapter in my bathroom a secluded section of the house.
How could I be THAT drawn in?
Well, let me ask you another question which may answer the first question.
Do you know what really attracts me to this series? Yes, sure, the fantasy but I’ll get back to that point in a minute. And no, not Edward particularly either (cough, yeah RIGHT, cough) or Jacob (I’m old enough to be his mother, for the love of Pete…). Its the author, Stephanie Meyers, who has drawn me in.
Watch this interview of her. I honestly couldn’t believe my ears. Pay attention to the first portion of the interview which discusses how she began writing this book series. You should understand right away why I can relate.
She had never written a book before. She was just a stay at home mom. With three boys. Simply trying to get out the door everyday to swim lessons. And she took a kernel of an idea from a dream she had and turned it into all of this. She wrote 10 pages a day from her computer in her kitchen, while her children climbed over her lap and Blue Clues blasted on the television. A mother with no real experience, a mother who didn’t follow any of the rules, a mother who just loved to write made this entire Twilight thing happen practically over night.
Wow.
Do you understand how deeply that inspires me? That element alone has pulled me right in. How couldn’t I leap? While I also type away on my laptop within a swirling windstorm of boy activity and the theme of Wonder Pets as my Morningside Mom soundtrack, she has shown me the potential of what I could do as a writer. That maybe somehow its out there, within reach, if I do as she did and write, write, write. I’m awed and inspired, I tell you.
But also, let me get back to the fantasy part of what also pulls me (and so many other readers) in. Stephanie wrote this tale from her little corner of everyday life. Stephanie, like many women my age, has already met her life partner and is now living in the practical reality of “happily ever after”. I’m there too. Generally, we know how our lives will play out for the most part. Fairy tales are replaced by reading bank statements and report cards. Fantasy is saving up for a family trip to Myrtle Beach. The dreams and hopes and “what ifs” of every teen-aged girl are long past. And that’s ok. It’s called being a grown up.
But sometimes we miss the wonder and possibility of it all. It was kind of fun to be lost in some of that girly, dreamy crap. As a teen, such fantasies came as naturally to me as breathing. As a thirty six year old, maybe I need a book or four to prod me along a bit.
So Stephanie has dreamed up an escape that relates to teens but pulls Twilight Moms back to a time when the thrill of romance or possibility of adventure was more likely than your kids eating their vegetables. Its just an innocent, indulgent escape really. And for some of us, Twilight leaves us breathless, giggling, teenaged and transported. Caught in a place where the perfect writing technique doesn’t matter but a good heady story does. Escape. Possibility. Magic. Fralalala, Edward, and I don’t care.
And thus I have justified my attraction to a 17 year old vampire.
But let me also point out my feminist tendencies shift in their chairs a bit over this whole series. So excuse this sidebar while I say my piece. The whole “tracking a woman” (done by either wolf or vampire), coming after her, wanting her to such an obsessive degree, being unable to help themselves and too strong for their own good, sometimes hurting her even though they “love” her…. ugh. And she choosing to fall for a man who could hurt and kill her, putting her life second to “love”… well. Eh. The hunter versus the prey thing bugs me here. It just does. And I will leave it at that.
So.
Anyone else want to see “New Moon” with me next weekend?
As I flipped to the “smacking my gums, adjusting my spectacles” “easy listening” station in the car earlier today, I realized it had now become the “24 hours of Christmas songs, all day every day” station. Oh. Well. Ok. So I jammed out to a little “Feliz Navidad” while I pulled into the Publix parking lot. T. was quiet (but that’s nothing new after a busy day of Kindergarten). The boys and I walked hand in hand across the parking lot, past the Salvation Army guy ringing his bell, and into the store. The monstrous, floor to the ceiling display of Santa, Mrs. Claus, presents, candy canes, and the rest went unnoticed by me while I yanked out one of those damn “car” grocery carts (you know the kind, the ones for kids that knock every box of cereal off its display within a 12 yard radius). But all of this mid November Christmas hoopla did NOT go unnoticed by my oldest boy.
“Mommy. Where are the Thanksgiving decorations?”
“Wha…?” The cart had almost knocked over a display of flowers and I was focused on maneuvering this “son of a biscuit” cart out of the way.
“Mommy, there are lots of decorations and songs for Halloween. And lots and LOTS of decorations and songs for Christmas. But what about Thanksgiving? Why don’t we decorate for that?”
“Um, heres a can of yams on display, what about that?”
“And lights on houses?! Or blown up Turkeys?! Why don’t we get those?”
He’s right. Why does Thanksgiving get the shaft every year? All halls were 100% decked everywhere we’ve been recently and Thanksgiving is still a week away. Not a Pilgrim or cornucopia to be seen.
“What kind of Thanksgiving songs are there, mama??”
Oy. I guess I can’t explain how badly big corporations want us to get excited about Christmas right now. Ranting and half crazed, they are spreading Christmas cheer all around us hoping to coax maybe a few more dollars out of our pockets. Hoping maybe we’ll fan the dying embers of our economy with one more toy for junior. Lord knows, I am certainly one to get caught up in the “gotta make Christmas perfect” fervor.
And don’t you think they HAVE decorated a little earlier this year? I wouldn’t blame them. We need some tidings of joy around here. We need some cheerful spending and a jollier economic confidence. We need to forget about this whole damn mess we’re all in.
But I guess I can’t explain that to him.
“That’s a good question, hon. Stores really don’t make as much money decorate as much as they do for Christmas, do they.”
I am wondering if Turkeys cost more money than they did, or if gifts were given, or if there was same insane hype to make that day perfect for your child - I wonder if there WOULD be decorations as far as the eye could see. Orange and yellow lights strung up, pumpkin pie songs on the radio, or even a “Santa-esque” Pilgrim rising up out of the pumpkin patch to deliver toys to every little boy and girl… oh wait, I am mixing all my holidays up royally now.
“Hey! You know what? There IS a Thanksgiving song! I’ll play it for you when I get home!”
“Yay! OK Mommy!”
And this is what we played over our ravioli tonight.
(“My brother likes to masturbate with baby oil”. WHOOPS. Earmuffs son, tra la la la la la, fiddle dee dee… Let’s put on “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” instead…)
As I write this post, I am watching my usual political pundits review today’s electoral goings on. They are updating me about the sound bites, the polls, the accusations and the tensions sourrounding this presidential campaign. Like so many Americans these days, I am all kinds of fired up. Posts of the liberal kind are tumbling around in my brain, willing my fingers to type.
*Deep breaths*
Enough already, its time to take it down a notch. For a change of pace, I would like to share some election fun with you. Lets have some laughs, let’s allow for some silliness and enjoy some light hearted looks at this presidential campaign so far. Not convinced yet? I’ll even promise you some ice cream for your troubles. So turn off those pundits, read on and have a laugh - I know I sure need to.
So, here is what I am going to do. Over the past couple weeks, I have been collecting funny links that have given me a chuckle. Mostly, my finds are of the democratic and Obama persuation, but all are worth a look and a laugh.
Halloween and Obama come together at this wonderful site: Yes We Carve. Do you have a hankering to carve a Barack-o-latern? Find the pumpkin sculptor within you and then post your pictures at their site. They even have stencils you can download for a more easy carving experience!
I don’t know about you, but I sure could use a calming, life sized likeness of Obama for my living room. On tough election days, days like today when I hear McCain is eeking out a lead over Obama in my state of Florida, this might be exactly what I need. BO can stare at me across the room and assure me that his lead in the polls will remain. Perhaps his likeness could inspire even my children: “Yes, we *CAN* eat our broccoli!” (Cue cheers, signs and confetti now.)
Did you realize your vote counts not only for your family and your children – but your vote counts for your pets too? Grab your pooch, some kleenex and get all patriotic while watching this “Pets for Obama” YouTube clip. Oh and don’t leave the dog out of election fun either with this cute t-shirt.
Have you ever played the game Stratego? Well, have you ever wanted to play a presidential election style stratego-like video game? Well, now you can at miniclip.com! You pick you presidential nominee and then you can choose your staff, each armed with their own under-handed campaign skills. Your mission? To gain the control over each U.S. region and eventually win all of your nation’s votes. Beware, this game is hard – but fun for the campaign manager hiding in each of us!
In case you have been living on the moon and have NOT seen any of the Saturday Night Live bits, NBC has all of their videos online for your viewing pleasure. Make their site a favorite and replay them when O’Reilly has you screaming into your couch pillow again. (Or am I the only one who does that?)
I assume all of you are planning to vote, correct? And I assume all of you love ice cream? And now the two shall meet. (Cue heavenly light from above and angels singing.) Ben and Jerry’s is offering free ice cream on November 4th to anyone who voted. That alone is almost enough of an incentive to vote. …ALMOST.
And finally, the funniest bits of election humor I have seen yet are the speeches both John McCain and Barack Obama gave last week at the Alfred E. Smith fundraiser dinner. Of course, I thought Obama’s was better (shocking, I know) but I would encourage you to watch both. On the evening following a very stressful debate, both candidates proved that they could find some very funny common ground during this event.
My friends (to quote a certain republican nominee), it’s been a very long, exhausting, emotional election year. And with only days left until November 4th, I don’t expect it will get much easier. Let’s try to take a moment, find the humor in all that we do, and be good to our neighbors – no matter whose political sign they’ve got posted out on their front lawns.
I am absolutely 100% guilty of loving cheesy stuff. After watching George Michael last night on America Idol (I thought he was amazing, by the way), his performance reminded me about my closeted taste in cheesy music. And I can assure you, much to my husband’s horror, I am shameless about it. I would bet that we are ALL in the closet about some artist or another. And you’re probably somewhat concerned that if the outside world really knew what you listened to, you would be tarred, feathered, and heckled ruthlessly. To inspire all of you to stand up for the cheese you believe in, I am coming out of the closet. While I listen to plenty of “regular” fairly cool (I think) stuff, here are my favorite categorically cheesy music artists. Maybe some aren’t that cheesy to a few of you. If that’s the case, then cool. That makes me feel better. Maybe I have some hope of fairly decent music taste? (snort) …NAH.
George Michael – From Wham! to his days in bathroom stalls, I have been by his side. The man is talented!
Hall and Oats – My fist tape was Rock and Soul, part 1 and I played it into the ground. I think I went through 3 copies of that tape before CDs were available. While I was pregnant with my second child, I saw them in concert. Absolutely amazing; Daryl still knows how to move those long flowing locks (sigh).
Prince – Have you heard his version of “Nothing Compares to You”? Please. Nothing compares to him. And his Sign of the Times album was amazing.
Justin Timberlake – NSync and today… what? He’s GOOD!
Def Leppard – Hysteria was the BEST. Pour some sugar on me? You bet!
The Carpenters – Karen Carpenter had the voice of angel. If you dare to disagree, let’s take it outside. No one disrespects my Karen. (So intimidating, ain’t I?)
Heart - Oh you bet. And yes, their old stuff was good, but I met them in the 80s when their hair taller than my husband. “Never”, “Alone”, “All I wanna do is make love to you”. I LOVE those girls.
The Culture Club – You laugh, but if I play my Best of Boy George, I guarantee you’ll turn it up when you hear those intro words “Give me tiiiiiime. To, realize, my criiiime…”
Michael Jackson- I know I know… I guess I am referring mostly to Thriller, Off the Wall and other songs when he was sane. Or sane-ish. Obviously, the man was (is??) talented. At 10, I used to dream his limo would break down in front of my house and he’d need to come in and use the phone. Yeah, that’s so likely in suburbia Washington D.C., I know. And yup, I even had a glove and Michael Jackson pins on my jean jacket. …Seriously, none of you all are going to respect me in the morning, are you?
Phil Collins- From Genesis to But Seriously, I had a hankering for that little bald man’s music. (What DOES Susudio mean??) But when he started doing Disney soundtracks, he kind of lost me.
Rod Stewart- This is actually my husbands secret cheesy music favorite. But that old school “Do you think I’m sexy” song might just take the cake! Have you seen the video? Hysterical.
Lionel Richie- During his years head to foot in sequins with The Commodores and then as a solo artist in the 80s, his hits were endless…. “Endless Love”, really.
I could go on, but lets stop here. Much to my horror, most of these artists were popular – yet still just as cheesy – in the 80s. If my youngest sister in law read this list, she would hassle me to no end. Not only has this list outed me as a tacky, cheese loving, top 40s listening dork… it’s nailed me as an OLD dork. But I will leave you with it, none the less. What are your favorite closested but oh-so-cheesy musical artists? While you ponder, watch this - can your cheese honestly compete with mine?
The girl inside the ticket booth could not have been older than 15. A swath of bottle dyed black hair was swept over eyes, she had braces and a few piercings circling her lips. How did those piercings avoid clashing into her braces? Brain dead from my day, I considered her mouth while the kids bashed my legs and pulled at my arms.
So sue me, “Two tickets for next week’s Friday screening of New Moon, please.” I stuck them in my car visor and looked forward to last night all week.
Please be rest assured. My friend and I were absolutely laughing at ourselves. We saw humor in our anticipation. We joked that if we were going to do this, we were doing it right. We were committing to this Twilight thing that night, why be half assed? We giggled at the Twilight souvenir cups and promised ourselves some as soon as we were seated.
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