Did you know that the number one killer of children under 5 is Pneumonia? I was thinking about that the other night as I stared at my son in bed in his dark room. He was coughing. A lot. Loud and hard and he could not settle down. He had a fever, too.
Of course, I had flashbacks to 6 months earlier when his lungs sent him to the hospital for 5 days. That wasn’t pneumonia. But it was the flu and it started with just a cough and then a fever, too.
So I stared at him and fed him sips of water and wondered what I should do. Of course, I called the pediatrician 5 minutes before they opened the next morning and kept redialing until someone answered. By lunchtime, we were back from the pediatrician and he had finally settled down with three types of meds (one being antibiotics), a nebulizer and a very effective prescribed combo of lemon, honey and tea. It worked miracles. I knew his respiratory infection could have evolved into something worse, but it hadn’t because we had access to immediate medical care.
We have access.
Yesterday, I sat in on a conference call about World Pneumonia Day. Today is World Pneumonia day, in fact. On the phone were Dr. Richard Besser, ABC News’ senior health and medical editor, as well as Dr. Orin Levine, with the International Vaccine Access Center. A number of bloggers were on the call and, for an hour, we discussed the dangers of pneumonia in our country and worldwide.
Here’s the thing. Whether you live in a small village in India or whether you live in a comfortable home in the Tampa suburbs, pneumonia can happen to your children. In fact, a child dies from pneumonia every 20 seconds. The doctors on the call agreed that many are surprised that it is the number one killer of children under five. It certainly doesn’t get the recognition that other conditions do. But maybe that’s because it isn’t a huge first world health priority. For every child who dies from pneumonia in the industrialized world, 2,000 more die in developing countries. Why? Children there don’t have access to care and antibiotics.
We have access.
One doctor talked about the work children with pneumonia do just to breathe. He recalled a time in Africa when he held a nine month old baby in his arms who struggled and struggled to catch her breathe but could not. She died minutes later. What could have saved her? Knowledge about respiratory distress and simple antibiotics. Both Dr. Besser and Dr. Levine are working to increase access in these countries. Anyone can be trained to recognize the signs of respiratory distress. And antibiotics are extremely inexpensive to distribute. As dangerous as pneumonia is, it is also one of the most solvable deadly conditions we’re faced with.
I walked away from the conversation far more educated about the extent of this disease. I also sat down and appreciated just what my children have. Their risk of dying from pneumonia is far lower thanks to a pediatrician 10 minutes from my home, $5 antibiotics and basic knowledge about respiratory infections. We have that. So many do not.
Follow Prevent Pneumonia on Facebook. Take a moment to watch this quick video about World Pneumonia Day. Consider what you have. Consider what others do not. Learn what you can do here.
Behold the bounty of our school supply shopping escapades.
And this doesn’t include the pile of clothes and underpants that we bought either.
It was a tax-free weekend for school supplies here in Florida. And, since school starts in two weeks, we figured we would take advantage.
But even after so very much money spent (tax-free = throngs of shoppers out and about = price inflation, just saying), somehow it doesn’t seem like enough.
It seems so ironic, you know? A tax-free holiday offered to residents to get geared up for a year ahead at public schools that are barely intact after our governor decided to cut more than $2 billion dollars from education. Why? He doesn’t want to — GOD FORBID — raise taxes. Schools in Florida will have $700 less per student than they did before. Because, you know, their cups were just running over with spending surplus in years prior…
Ask a Florida teacher how much he or she made last year. Ask a Florida teacher how much he or she makes this year.
The education cups have never run over here. Never. And the only reason we have teachers still teaching at our schools is, well, because they don’t have much of a choice but to take the cut. Or, they are just awesome men and women who care too much about their kids to bail out and try for something else. Or maybe they aren’t teaching at all anymore, because they were fired due to these “tax-saving” budget cuts.
I’ve heard rumors of 4 day weeks. We got letters home about “many changes” expected in the coming year and to “please be understanding” as they adjust to drastic budget cuts.
So, looking over at this pile of expensive school supplies doesn’t really feel so great. Because I think we should be giving so much more. Something is very wrong with our system when cutting back on education to save a buck in our paychecks is morally acceptable.
My husband and I are hardly rolling in it. We’re upside down on our home thanks to an already shaky Florida economy. We have stacks of bills and 10 year old appliances kicking out on us just like everyone else. But if it would help our schools to buy this stack of school supplies once a month, I would.
But somehow I don’t think a monthly drop-off off clorox wipes and reams of paper will solve our budget problems.
So this tax-free weekend I don’t feel like we saved anything at all, really. I’m just afraid we’ve lost too much already.
Call me an animal freak. It’s OK. I don’t mind at all. In fact, I’m hoping that my animal obsession adoration will be passed along to my children. I’m hoping that they might learn to crawl through the grass following a spotted frog or “oh” and “ah” over animal prints in the mud or bird watch with genuine, honest enthusiasm. Somehow.
So when Busch Gardens contacted me a few weeks back and asked if my three year old and I would like to attend their new series for preschoolers called “Busch Babies”, I enthusiastically agreed. Busch Babies is a described as a 45 minute, three part “educational program” which “combines crafts, story time, and of course up-close and personal visits from special animal friends.”
Yes, please. Sign us up.
We finished our program this past week – and I am so sad it is already over. My son and I had a terrific time. Here’s my take on our experience with a list of pros and cons. And if you don’t feel up to all this reading, scroll to the bottom for a video taken at our third class. It’s pretty darling and certainly speaks for itself.
What We Loved
The staff. Ms. Amber and Ms. Cherish were wonderful and extraordinarily patient. They seem very well trained as educators – especially with this tricky, slightly unfocused age. They were also very well informed about each animal and made every effort to teach the kids at their speed and in their language. And clearly, they were having fun too. (I’ll miss seeing them every week!)
The program. Each class offered a combination of crafts, play, sensory interaction and learning. We sang songs, we touched cool things, we colored and glued and glittered. We even had a small snack during story time. And the best part was – of course – meeting a new animal at each class.
The location. The room we met in was perfect. It was close to the entrance of the park so we didn’t have to trek too far. It was close to the Safari of Fun so that we could head there right afterwards. It was held in a small, comfortable, intimate room with cozy carpets, low lighting and brown papered kiddie tables. Perfect.
Constructive Criticism
One more class. In a perfect world, I would love to see one more class or so added. It took the first one or two classes for the kids to finally get comfortable and used to this new experience. Would it be worth adding more classes even if it cost more? I think so. I should add that they offer a “playgroup” show at the Safari of Fun stage the week following the last class of each session that anyone can attend. We went today and my son loved seeing the staff again.
It’s a time commitment. After driving there, parking, getting to the program, peeling your wee one away from the park, catching the train back to your car, getting back on the highway and home – well, expect a long morning. The good news is that your child will be exhausted. The bad news is you will be too.
Tips for Parents
Be a Busch Gardens pass holder. This program is designed for local parents who are already pass holders and expect to make multiple trips to the park over the course of the year. Be sure to have your parking already included and paid for with your pass or else you will pay an additional $12.00 a day for parking.
Get there early. Trust me, plan for traffic and accidents and who knows what else. (The day I was impossibly late due to an accident, they were very accommodating. Thanks Amber and Cherish for letting me attend the next class!) Also get to the gate early too. Our class was at 10:30am so I tried to be at the gate by 10:00am so that we would have plenty of time to park, take the tram and walk to our class. (Three year olds tend to get distracted while walking through Busch Gardens!
Cost
One adult and one child combination costs $50 for each three part series. $30 is charged per each additional child or adult who joins you. Also this program is designed for season pass holders who have parking included in their annual ticket already. These cost (at minimum) $99.95.
The Next Series
Be sure to check here for upcoming program dates. There are three more planned for the months of May, August and September.
See For Yourself!
Here is a video of our last day of class. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: Busch Gardens paid for our Busch Babies attendance. I paid for all other costs (seasonal park passes, parking, food, etc.).
The First Lady has taken on the fight against childhood obesity in her most recent initiative called the Let’s Move Campaign. I got an email yesterday from a journalist at Bay News 9 asking for my thoughts. And as I was reading the link he provided, I saw that the First Lady was speaking live about this initiative on MSNBC. So I stopped, read, listened and sent him my thoughts.
This is basically what I emailed him.
There can be no argument against that fact that we have a severe childhood obesity issue in our country. McDonald’s chains are often more common than supermarkets in some areas. One third of our nation’s children are overweight or obese. Junk food is stuffed into beautiful, fun packaging. Sugar tastes so damn good and its deliciously addictive. We eat big portions in this country – most of which is just a lot of nothing, filling the hole, cheap and easy. It’s here, it’s there, it’s everywhere, nom, nom, nom.
Bottom line? Our bad eating habits are so effusive that they have become a culture issue. My friends and I ate junk growing up, and now my kids and their friends want it too. And unless we want to continue seeing more children facing health issues and obesity before they even get to high school, we need to change our culture’s ideals about fast food fast.
I have to point out that the First Lady made a great point about obesity before she launched into the points of her program. She made it clear that this is not about how someone looks. Its about how children feel. Both in reference to their own body image and how they feel medically.
There is a huge issue of fat-ism (for lack of a better word) and body image in this country – and this initiative can’t and should not be about that. I am hoping that healthier habits change attitudes on many levels but never single out anyone for not fitting some expectation of “model thin” beauty. We are what we are, but let’s be the best we can be. Just saying.
So back to the Let’s Move Campaign. We have to change the culture of our country. So that means we need support. Parents need support from schools, schools need to actively educate children and funding will be needed to really push a campaign of healthy eating habits forward. Sugar has too strong a pull on us not to come back at the causes of obesity with guns blazing.
So will kids actually be able to learn how to eat better? I don’t think it is ever too early to start educating and empowering children about food. My six year old has a peanut allergy and has been reading food labels for as long as he has been able to read. And more recently, we’ve been taking steps to read the entire label. He knows to look for sugar, sodium, trans fat, protein and vitamins. And now that he generally understands what reasonable amounts of each should be in his food, he knows we need to pick Cheerios over Fruit Loops. He may not be happy about it, but at least he now knows why.
Also, it is my hope that some of the funding will make healthier foods more accessible to families in need. Feeding a family off a dollar menu is a hell of a lot cheaper than cashing out at a grocery store. Healthy eating should be something everyone can afford to do.
Finally, there has been some crabbing about this campaign banning certain foods in school. While I think banning food is never a good idea, teaching kids about better choices certainly is. And then, we would hope, kids will learn to pick better food choices and drive the market to provide healthier alternatives in vending machines which kids feel OK about buying.
“No way, dude. I don’t want that lame Ho-Ho. I want that bag of sliced apples! AWESOME!”
Er. Here’s hoping at least.
And if my son’s PTO votes to remove all sodas and cupcakes and sugary crap from the schools vending machines, so be it and good riddance. But that’s the schools collective choice. I’m just hoping that with focused education and better access to healthier foods, it will be my children’s choice someday too.
Oh and be sure to check out my friend Apryl’s post about this too: First Lady Michelle Obama takes a Bite Out of Childhood Obesity. Apryl, who writes at About.com, was in on a conference call to the White House as the President signed the executive order to fight childhood obesity.
On April 22nd, local and global communities alike will stop to recognize and celebrate Earth Day. And so with our green flags flying in anticipation, I would like to offer readers a solution to all of our environmental woes. You heard me right; I know what will end global warming, stop excess waste and create renewable energy resources. What, you ask, in our slowly warming world could possibly make all of this happen? The answer is right in front of us, running around with PB&J on their cheeks and a Spiderman costume on: our children.
You could laugh at me and say that they don’t understand just how far up this polluted creek we are or that they are too young to take on responsibilities such as these. But I disagree. This is their earth, we are leaving it to them. And just like they learn how to kick my behind in Wii Sports Baseball or memorize the names of every Star Wars character, they can learn how to sort their trash. They can learn what how to turn off lights and brush their teeth with the water off. They can learn how to respect the earth and understand how to care for it. Because if they don’t? We’re all in big trouble. So it’s up to us to teach them. No matter your political background, your religious affiliation, where you’re from or how big your house is: a clean, safe environment is something all of our children deserve.
So, with Earth Day right around the corner, let’s use this opportunity to begin educating our children. And then let’s keep it up throughout the year. One day of talking about our environment won’t change habits for a lifetime.
Please note, however, that reducing, reusing and recycling should be encouraged as something positive – and even fun. If it isn’t a positive topic, they won’t want to participate. As parents, we can harbor all the eco-guilt for them for now I think. And with that said, here are some suggestions to encourage eco-friendly habits in your children.
Recycle with the Kids: Make the recycle bins easy to find and tell apart. Then make sure your children learn what used materials can be trashed, recycled or reused. Don’t forget how much waste can go to good use in a compost pile too.
Start a Garden: I’ve mentioned this tip before but nothing will give your child more respect for their earth than allowing them to play in it. Consider planting something special on Earth Day to mark the occasion!
Reward Good Habits: When kids remember to turn off lights, the TV, the computer and the water when they are done – reward them. Positive reinforcement creates great habits.
Get Outside: There is no better way to appreciate your environment than getting out there and enjoying it. Go explore local parks with your children, learn about the indigenous plants and animals in your area, stop to watch the clouds go by or spend an afternoon throwing rocks and leaves into a nearby creek. Your children will grow up bound to protect the outdoors if they grow up loving it.
Explain the Concept of Waste: This is a tough one. Kids don’t always get what doesn’t affect the immediate world around them. So when they throw out half a bag of grapes or use too many paper towels, it’s hard for them to understand what they have done wrong. Keep telling them to use only what they need and reward them anytime they reduce waste in any way.
Be an Example: I have worked very hard to remember the cloth bags for the grocery store. I talk about remembering them and grumble loudly when I forget. My kids have been paying attention and now never let me leave the car without them. If you care for your environment, your children will too – it’s as simple as that.
Continue the Conversation: As I said before, April 22nd shouldn’t be the only day you promote eco-friendly habits with your children. There are opportunities to reduce, reuse and recycle every day. Get out there and show them their environment, teach them to love their earth and the amazing natural resources all around them.
And as a mother who uses the computer often, I have found some great links to keep the conversations happening with your children in a fun, productive way. Whether they are online games and videos, educational printables (on recycled paper!) or cool crafts – there are lots of ways to teach our children how to put the Earth first. Check out these links here.
PBS Kids: Earth Day videos and Eeko World (an interactive environmental website – my kids love this one.)
This picture of an AIDS poster was taken by me in Mozambique, ’92.
No disrespect to my Catholic peeps, truly. I have been hesitant to publish this post because offending any one’s religious beliefs just isn’t my thing. But I read this article from the BBC. And then my husband forwarded another article to me. And it got me angry. So to hell with it (literally), I just have to say something about this.
Breathe.
The Pope has arrived in Africa. And he is suggesting – no – he is urging African citizens not to use condoms to prevent AIDS. He has flown to Africa to let folks there know that abstinence is the only answer to the AIDS epidemic.
He says that to the people of Africa.
A continent where it is projected that by 2025, 80 million people (10% of the continent) will die from AIDS (BBC).
And lets take the wonderful country of Swaziland for instance, where I spent 5 years growing up. Currently, almost 30% of the adult population in Swaziland has HIV or AIDS (honestly, I have heard from folks living there that this rate is as high as 50% but will report what I have found). Children are raising children on the streets, with no way of knowing how to sustain themselves or care for the babies on their hips. Why? Because their parents are dead. The fabric of this wonderful country has been forever changed because of the human void it is suffering with right now. People are simply just dead.
Why? Because they had unprotected sex with an infected partner.
This is a crises of epic, massive, earth shifting proportions. And the Pope says just stop having sex? That we really just have to keep our morals in check here? You know, go to church, stop having sex and all our problems will be solved?
Um, Mr. Pope (which I say with utmost honest respect), did you know the King of Swaziland has multiple wives? Its tradition there, no disrespect to the King, but multiple wives happens in Swaziland. Or did you know young girls are being raped and infected because it is rumored that having sex with a virgin ”cures” AIDS? Did you know that until recently many people weren’t convinced AIDS even existed at all? We need birth control and education – not empty promises of God’s salvation if we simply keep our legs shut.
Reality check: Sex happens. And will continue to happen. No matter how hard you pray it away, sex will happen (as it does in all over the world), with multiple partners. Often. Even after heartfelt promises of church going and abstinence are declared publicly, sex will keep on keeping on.
Oh and people having sex aren’t bad people by the way. Just for the record.
So what is the only shot we’ve got at curbing the spread of AIDS in Africa? Education and CONDOMS. (Along with access to HIV medications.)
But really, I am just afraid that there will be only two responses to the Pope’s suggestion of picking abstinence over condoms. 1) He will either be laughed at (which isn’t doing the Pope or the Catholic church and its mission any good at all anyway) or (2) condoms will be thrown aside because “the pope said so” – and then all that we have left is their blood on the Pope’s hands.
My hope is that the Pope’s trip to Africa will be eye-opening. I hope he can bring back to the Catholic church some first hand accounts about whats really happening there. Clearly I am not Catholic but I am forever the optimist. So I can hope.
And then I do have comfort knowing that he’ll certainly do one thing constructively. He’ll join the rest of the world as we pray for the souls of each person threatened by this horrible virus.
But Mr. Pope? Sir? Let’s just try to actually save some of them too, ok?
While my son was at school yesterday, his kindergarten class watched the inauguration. They also read books about Obama and his teachers explained the significance of that day. When T. jumped into the car yesterday afternoon, he yelled out to me “Hey Mom! You won’t BELIEVE why the President’s Office is called the OVAL office!” Hmmm, I can’t imagine - but I was thrilled that he knew. So then it was my turn for a presidential factoid. “Hey, did you know President Obama has two little girls?” I happened to spy an eyeroll in my rear-view mirror. “I KNOW that.”
Already, President Barack Obama is being taught in schools. Already, he is considered part of my son’s “social studies” curriculum. Already, he is getting colored in and pasted on to construction paper.
It should come as no surprise then that I consider this sort of school work: “refrigerator-worthy” – and it is posted proudly for all to see.
In case you hadn’t noticed, I am very excited about the upcoming inauguration of President-Elect Obama. And as a mom, I think it is only fair that I share the excitement of this historical event with my children too. I also think this is the perfect opportunity to teach our children about the United States presidency and the purpose of an inauguration. So, after doing some research, I have found all sorts of fun ways to engage our children in this historical event.
Where to begin? First, and depending on their age, you might want to explain to your children what the United States President is actually responsible for. Ben’s Guide will give your kids a simple but fairly thorough explanation.You may also want to show your children our nation’s past 43 presidents. White House.gov provides a list of past presidents along with interesting facts about each. And what better way to remember our presidents than to learn a rap about all 44 of them? The song and lyrics can be found here.
The inauguration is as much a celebration as it is a learning experience for our children. Parents should think about explaining what this inauguration is for and what it means for so many people. Here are some excellent books which will teach children further about the presidency and the inauguration process:
Our President-Elect represents a great deal to our country. His principles, his history as a politician and recent election can teach our kids many important lessons. Princemensah at Ehow wrote a wonderful article about the inspiring lessons children should learn from Barack Obama. One suggested lesson reads:
“Point out the lesson of working with different people.
The President-Elect has a history of working with people with differing views. From Harvard to the Hill, he has established faith and friendship with people who do not share his views. This attitude is critical to a nation sharply divided over war and worries over the economy. Your children need to know about the value of being able to gain the respect of your enemies.”
While teaching our children about the inauguration is important, there are plenty of fun, interactive ways to include them in all the celebrating too. Active learning with lots of cutting and pasting always gets the brain moving. As I mentioned in a post before, Kaboose.com has some excellent craft ideas for children. More crafts can also be found at Amazing Moms.com.
Does your child dream of becoming President of the United States someday? Scholastic.com has a fun game for older children where they can decide what they would do if they were president.
If you have an inauguration whiz on your hands, perhaps the whole family can sit down and play this inauguration quiz found at pbs.org
Or do you have a musician in the house? Have them try playing “Hail to the Chief”. The sheet music can be found here if you click on the “score” icon at the top left of the page.
Are you looking for coloring pages? So that your young ones can stay busy coloring up a storm on Tuesday, we’ve got plenty of links to share:
While the rest of your household readies for the inauguration, you may be wondering how you can engage your tween or high schooler further. Nickelodeon, The Disney Channel and MTV will all be hosting events with many favorite performers like the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus.
That being said, there will be so much to do in the DC area for families. Be sure to check out Go City Kids for all of the city wide activities. And did you know that there will be, in fact, a Children’s Inaugural Ball?
And for those families like mine who are scrambling to figure out how to celebrate inauguration day hundreds of miles away from Washington DC, be sure to check locally for events and activities for children on the day of the inauguration. I know that Borders will hosting inaugural events in some cities, so it’s worth doing further research online.
So strike up Hail to the chief, hang your coloring pages proudly, maybe do a little presidential rap, and enjoy celebrating the inauguration with your entire family this coming Tuesday, January 20th.
During my HP Giveaway contest, I received some amazing entries. And I mean AMAZING. Choosing a winner seemed near impossible and I am about to show you why. But I did choose a winner and the Moms Without Moms Organization spent last weekend opening up all their computers and finding new homes for them at the Laura Walker Project. I am thrilled those computers will make a significant difference in the lives of the women they serve.
But back to my entrants. The stories. The heartache. The charities. And even once I had worked my list down, the remaining folks were honestly all equally deserving. Even since this contest has long passed, I think about their charities and the work so many of these folks do for others. So, I thought that the only small way I can give to these folks might be to introduce some of them to my readers. You see, there is amazing work happening out there, even during these very difficult times. Selfless giving happens daily, without any fanfare or fabulous HP giveaways hyping up the amazing work they do.
Please read along and learn a little something about some incredible charities that my entrants hoped to donate the the HP giveaway to.
But can ask one favor of you though? If you are able to, or if you know someone who can, please consider contributing to one of these charities. Or post this link on your blog encouraging folks to give. Or send this link to friends. Or Stumble it. Or tweet about it. Do what you can do to expose these charities to others. I believe in the power of word of mouth, blogging and community. Maybe some more good can come for these charities after all.
Also, forgive me. Rather than writing my own blurb about each place, I have copied quotes from most of their mission statements. They do a better job explaining themselves anyway. Ok, here we go…
“Muscogee-Seminole and Cherokee artist, Dana Tiger, founded Legacy Cultural Learning Community to offer “art making” as part of the daily lives of Native youth. Since 2002, Legacy has provided art opportunities ranging from outdoor youth and elder camps where traditional foods are prepared on an open fire, to the production of film by 5th through 8th grade camera and technical directors.”
“Arise is a low-income rights, membership organization based in Springfield, MA. We were founded by welfare mothers who believe we have the right to speak for ourselves about the issues that affect our lives. Our membership is poor people, people who are homeless and at-risk of homelessness, working people and people who have been pushed to the side by society We organize around voting rights, housing, homelessness, access to health care, family rights and criminal injustice.”
“ECI provides an array of independent living services to individuals with disabilities and to the community. The purposes of ECI are two-fold; to prepare individuals, and to prepare the community for full integration of persons with disabilities into society.”
“Lighthouse International is a leading non-profit organization dedicated to preserving vision and to providing critically needed vision and rehabilitation services to help people of all ages overcome the challenges of vision loss. Through clinical services, education, research, and advocacy, the Lighthouse enables people with low vision and blindness to enjoy safe, independent and productive lives.”
The Wyoming Search and Rescue Association assists with “the employment, coordination and utilization of available resources and personnel in relieving distress, preserving life and removing survivors from the site of a disaster, emergency or hazard to safety in case of lost, stranded, entrapped or injured people.”
“Presently Vision HOPE’s sole focus is on raising the necessary funds to operate Champions for Life Kids’ Camp. Foster children from the surrounding communities will participate in a variety of fun and educational activities in a non-competitive and non-threatening, loving environment. With a highly trained & devoted staff, these children will discover not only their inner strengths and abilities, but their self-worth as well.”
“Peace4Kids provides programs and services for foster and at-risk youth from ages 5-18, and after emancipation until age 24. Peace4Kids is truly on the front lines in addressing the needs of foster and at-risk youth in the South Los Angeles neighborhoods of Watts, Willowbrook and Compton.”
“The SFAC is a one-stop location designed to provide support services regarding finances, child care, Family Advocacy, budgeting, Chaplain assistance, Legal Assistance, Military Personnel issues, logistics and transportation, installation access, benefits counseling, education and employment opportunities. The SFAC provides a warm, relaxed environment where Soldiers and their Families can gather to foster physical, spiritual and mental healing.”
Youth Power Center (YPC), located in Anacostia of Washington, DC, is a career training program that assists teenagers to empower them to reach their potential.
“Talk About Curing Autism (TACA) provides information, resources, and support to families affected by autism. For families who have just received the autism diagnosis, TACA aims to speed up the cycle time from the autism diagnosis to effective treatments. TACAhelps to strengthen the autism community by connecting families and the professionals who can help them, allowing them to share stories and information to help people with autism be the best they can be.”
“KVCAP offers a range of services for men, women, and children. These include Family Planning; home ownership, repair and weatherization services, heating assistance; transportation; and a teen center. We also support families through home visitation programs for first time parents, parenting classes, childcare and Head Start. Many of these programs are available to people of all income levels.
“Capitol News Connection is an independent and innovative multimedia news service that brings politics ‘home’ to citizens with localized and custom-crafted reporting from Congress. A bridge from the ‘Beltway’ to the ‘Heartland’, CNC connects the dots and ensures all Americans have access to locally relevant, trustworthy, engaging and unbiased information. By bringing new relevance, transparency and accountability to the political process, CNC reporting empowers citizens to shape their own destinies by being active and effective participants in our democracy.”
“Without passing judgment, and in a spirit of love and hospitality, Loaves & Fishes feeds the hungry and shelters the homeless. We provide an oasis of welcome, safety, and cleanliness for homeless men, women and children seeking survival services.”
“Our mission is to provide opportunities and an environment for neighbors and families in southwest Indianapolis to improve lives, increase independence, and strengthen community through service and collaboration.”
Blogger Kate discussed their amazing adult re-entry computer education program and how it supports and assists “Baby Boomer” adults as they reinvent themselves at various points in their lives.
“Ballet Tech is dedicated to seeking out talented New York City public school students and provides a continuum of training from introductory through professional level training. Throughout the children’s instruction, dance classes, shoes and leotards are provided free of charge. During the first year of training, transportation is provided while students attend ballet classes on a school-time release program. Students who show the talent and passion required to study classical ballet are invited to attend The New York City Public School for Dance (NYCPSD) – a cooperative, tuition-free venture between the NYC Department of Education and Ballet Tech. The School offers a rigorous academic curriculum paired with intensive dance training for students in grades 4 through 12.”
“South Burlington Community Housing offers affordable housing for people with mobility impairments aged 62 and younger…the community offers nine one-bedroom apartments [and] a non-institutional setting where residents can live independently in a group setting. All residents participate in a care-pooling plan, which allows them to pool their resources to direct the caregiver staff of the community in providing their care, which allows more freedom and independence than a traditional care giving arrangement.”
When it comes to my son and any accessment about his education or development, I seriously lose my mind. No I mean it. I’d like to think that with most things in my life, I can keep a fair, rational, logical perspective on things. I don’t cry too much. I am realistic. Whatever, I can be cool. But for some reason, when it comes to my son and school or anything to do with how he’s growing up, I completely and utterly lose my frigging tree. A crazy lady, frothed and pleading, takes over my brain and there seems that nothing can be done. Are you relating to this? Or are you fanicated by another parenting train wreck post from me? Well, go ahead. Read on. I’m warning you though. I’m a nut job and I’m going to prove it.
When my wonderful Aunt S. was raising her son, she used to tell me about this insanitything that happens to moms. My Aunt S. is a speech pathologist. And apart from being super smart about children’s development, she just kind of “gets it”. She is surrounded by amazing resources and she has been blessed with a very level head about raising children. But she used to tell me all the time that when it came to her discussing own child, all reasoning went out the window and some crazy lady took over. She would just kind of… loose it.
Oh. Seriously. You would not BELIEVE how I get what she was saying now.
Ever since the day my son was born, I have hung on every word any “specialist” might share with me. As I’ve mentioned before, my son had a pretty rough start. So if I am talking to ANY variation of child expert (and I mean ANY kind), I kind of loose it. Friends or family that happen to be teachers, substitute teachers, doctors, nurses, speech pathologists (I’ve got two in my family), or even just moms… or even people that have maybe even seen a kid before… once, I babble endlessly to them about my son. And I can’t stop. When they ask “How is school going”, I know they are expecting a quick “fine” back. Huh. Well, not me. My mind simply sees a green light, social norms fall away and I just… go for it. I launch into a detailed account about his social and educational development. What this teacher said, what friends I think and hope he is playing with, what test score he got, what I think is REALLY going on, after all I know best, I’m his mom. Right? RIGHT?!?!?!!! And as they quickly try to change the subject, I corner them into telling me that T. is doing “Great. Just GREAT. Really. He is.” And I calm my panting, wipe my brow and scramble to get a grip.
The irony? T. is a pretty smart kid. He really IS doing great.
(I’m holding back here. Really. I am. Don’t go on about Caroline. Don’t do it, girl!!!)
So yeah, he’s a smart kid. But that doesn’t satisfy me. And it’s not *HIM* that I am pushing (I don’t think?) it’s everything around him. If he is acing his reading, I wonder if the school is challenging him enough. If he is struggling with subtraction, I gasp and shake my head and fold my arms and ask my husband outright “Who the hell thinks subtraction is a good idea in Kindergarten? I mean, Come on!!!”
And what did me and my crazy lady within get to experience last week? The first parent-teacher meeting of the year of course. (Bum, bum BUM!!!) So there we were, early for our appointment. I paced out front, the children tackled each other on the sidewalk, and my husband stood there with his hands in his pockets, kind of breaking out into hives about being anywhere NEAR a classroom. (A brilliant man, but clearly he’s never been a fan of sitting still for class. Did I tell you he’s a college coach?)
When they called us in, all I could think was “Be calm. Be normal. Be NICE. And most of all. DON’T BE THAT PARENT.” We sat down, them across from us, record books cracked open, guarded smiles on their faces. And I know exactly why they were guarded too. Because they have dealt with freak after FREAK of parents marching in and demanding and flipping out and gushing about how THEIR kid is so uber amazing. Poor teachers. How annoying. Not me, not this parent, I GET it.
“So yes. Mr and Mrs. Morngsidemom, T. is doing very well. Very quiet. Pays attention….” And on it goes. But the more they talk, the more I butt in “Yes, did I tell you about his birth trauma? Oh, she knows but you didn’t hear about it? Maybe its just good you know, just to give you some context.” or “Hes very quiet because he is a ‘LISTENER’, thats how he PROCESSES the world (Heh, like I’m some expert.). He may not respond right away because he is LISTENING and is taking every bit in, I promise you.” “Mmmm, hmmmmm….” they say.
But c’mon. Even *I* know better. I know he’s off thinking about light sabers and speeders and which Star Wars episode is his favorite. But its like I can’t help it. There is some strange urge within to justify everything he says or does. To explain it. To tell them he is BRILLIANT DAMMIT, BRILLIANT. And by the time I have jumped into hyper-speed talking and gesticulating and demanding and flipping out and gushing about how MY kid really IS uber amazing… I realize, the teachers are just sitting there. Blink. Blink. With guarded smiles plastered to their wonderfully patient faces. Oops. I did it YET again.
So then, when we got back home from the meeting, per the Math teachers suggestion, I calmly (nervous laughing as I type this) sat down with T. and his subtraction homework. “Hon, maybe a number line is a good idea. You think? Here’s how it works! Stop coloring. Pay attention. Hey. Think dammit! A number line. Ok. Count forward or backward… ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION??!!?!! YOU’RE SUCH A SMART BOY YOU CAN DO THIS!”
Ok, I swear, I am not like that. Ask my husband, he sees “homework time” go down. But thats what the freak show, crazy lady, jumping around in my head is saying. Fer real.
Anyway, so I showed him the number line. And we worked on it together. And he got it and sailed through his homework. And that was that.
However. Have I wanted to harass his lovely (really, shes so wonderful) math teacher with a little follow up email??? Oh ho, yes. I wanna so bad. I bet it would go something like: ”I printed a number line for him, it really works for him, if you’d just make sure he has one when he’s doing his work, that would really help, because he really understands the concepts, he’s such a smart kid, really, I swear, its just the WAY he PROCESSES things, a LISTENER, remember? I’m his mom, I know, so could ya get him a number line? MMM, thanks. That would be greeeaaaat.”
But nope. I haven’t done that yet. (Restraint being my middle name and all…) Although, I asked T. in the car yesterday, “So!” (-all calm and relaxed like-) “Did you tell your teacher that you would like to use a number line with your subtraction?”
“No.”
“Oh! Oh that’s ok. So.” (Clearing my throat. Totally chilled out about the WHOLE topic.) ”How was your quiz then?”
“Gottahundred”
“OH!!!!! OHBABY!!!!!”
(SCREEEEEEECH, my car swerved all over the road, I was filled with utter glee.)
“I am SOOOO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!” (beaming at that point, cars honking everywhere, but I. Am. BEAMING.) “But, uh, how did you do it without a number line?”
“I just used the one in my head. Mom? C. is picking his nose again. And wiping it on me….”
Yeah, well. THAT about sums it up, right?
Anyhow, for those of you who have made it all the way through this rambling post, this is only one small chapter in my epic novel of parenting madness. Someone needs to just tell me to frigging quit it. Someone needs to smack the crazy lady OUTA me. Someone needs to make sure I am not completely screwing him up at school. I don’t want EITHER of my kids to feel like they need to be perfect. I just want them to try to do their best.
And me. As a mom. Wondering (desperately, wildly, dramatically) how my kids will turn out, I guess they can’t expect me to be perfect either. I just am going to try to do my best.
(As for all you “experts” who I corner on a regular basis? My most humble, insanity riddled apologies. At least I am aware of the problem. Oh and by the way? C. hasn’t even started school yet… bum, bum, BUUUUUUM!)
This picture of an AIDS poster was taken by me in Mozambique, ’92.
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