Every Martin Luther King Jr. Day I Google him. Why? Well, because I need some reminding. And considering the recent shootings in Tucson, Google has schooled me once again with the sort of MLK wisdom that we should all literally be plastering to our foreheads. I’ll let his words speak for themselves.
“Nonviolence is a powerful and just weapon, which cuts without wounding and ennobles the man who wields it. It is a sword that heals.”
“Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him.”
And…
“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”
Today simply marks a day when I send a little prayer out into the wind for tolerance and peace.
You know about tolerance right? It’s when you actually stop thinking you know better, for just a moment, and then listen to what someone very different from you has to say. Because isn’t making that choice not to listen and not to like that person and not to think of that person as your equal “too great a burden to bear”?
And as for peace, well I took this picture yesterday. You know me. Wildlife – birds in particular – always seem to bring me a little peace. So, here’s hoping.
The first time I even had any notion that there was such a thing as National Coming Out Day was my freshman year at college. One morning I woke up, slipped on my black Guess jeans, adjusted my scrunchy and stepped out onto campus only to find it gloriously covered with rainbow flags, rainbow ribbons, chalk drawings, announcements, fliers, banners, posters and all kinds of good vibes celebrating our campus’ gay community.
Wow. What a novel thing.
Because, as a straight woman, I never had to have a special DAY when people encouraged and applauded me for admitting who I loved.
(Can you imagine?
“Uh muh guh, I totally want to tell everyone that I have a crush on the most popular guy in school, fer sure. He’s sooooooo totally awesome to the max!”
… *crickets*… yeah yeah, get in line, you and the rest of the eighth grade girls.
…or maybe boys too?)
Because being heterosexual is the expected.
And being homosexual is not.
In fact, it was the first time I had ever thought carefully about the kind of courage it took to COME OUT. For one person to announce that they loved someone else. Out loud. For all the world to hear. And to be that afraid not because she was embarrassed, but because she was scared she might get her ass kicked. Or lose her family. Or lose a job. Or be persecuted or ousted from a community. Or even live in fear that she might be killed for who she loved. Because it happens. All the time.
So back to happy rainbows and people of all genders making out in the middle of the campus green while K.D. Lang crooned from speakers about constant craving.
Me, little miss ignorant *blink, blink* “well shucks now, I’m learning about diversity at college”, me miss “I’ve lived all over the world but didn’t know one damn thing about homophobia”… well, don’t roll your eyes now, but I kind of loved it.
Feeling all “you go girl!” (because that was the new, hip thing to say that back then), I grabbed a rainbow flag, tacked it to my back pack and stomped on ahead to class with a smile on my face. Hells yeah. We can make out with whomever we damn well please. Fly me some rainbows and celebrate the love. This holiday is ROCKS.
So there at college, on that fine fall morning all those years ago, I learned about love. And it was worth every frigging tuition dollar spent for that one very important lesson.
Happy National Coming Out Day to every amazing person finding the strength to say who they love and say it loud. You rock. You are totally awesome to the max. Fer sure.
You are so awesome I’ll even give you my scrunchy (because I’m pretty sure I still have it here somewhere).
People are dying because of who they choose to love. People are not being allowed to marry because of who they choose to love. People are not being allowed to serve our country because of who they choose to love. People are being told God abhors them because of who they choose to love. People are being bullied and abused and cursed at and ignored and isolated and hated because of who they choose to love.
Its LOVE people. And crushes. And sex. And holding hands. And relationships. And picking out furniture. And commitment. And families. And growing old together.
These are good, beautiful, wonderful things to have in this world.
I’m going out on a limb here but I’m pretty sure God is totally down with good, loving, wonderful things. I mean, He created love after all. And I’m not claiming to be the Pope or anything but I have this feeling God is absolutely NOT down with hateful, bigoted, angry acts against another person. It’s just a hunch, but I’m going with it.
So. Stop it.
And if you aren’t encouraging hate yourself, stop ignoring it. Or if you see someone being hateful, say something.
The other evening on the Rachel Maddow Show, Rachel was discussing the current state of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” (DADT) in our military. And after hearing further details about this policy and those it is affecting, I was left appalled. In a time when our military resources are as limited as they are, this policy seems outdated and insulting. But before I was ready to list my various reasons in a blog post, I called my friend who is a military wife and we had a very interesting discussion.
Before we jump into this topic, the actual DADT policy can be found here. Also, I would suggest that you watch the Rachel Maddow’s piece that got me all riled up in the first place.
The GLAAD blog also ties a lot of the recent discussion and media coverage together here.
From where I sit as a mom with a vested interest in equal rights, but with no connection to the military, it’s very easy for me to jump head first into a discussion about discrimination and say that DADT is wrong. In my eyes, the policy seems inexcusable and counterproductive.
We are living in a time when our military’s resources are being stretched extraordinarily thin. Men and women are being called to serve 3 or 4 tours of duty in a row, more than they ever signed on for. However, since DADT was made an official policy 15 years ago, almost 13,000 military personnel have been dismissed for being out about their sexual orientation.
I know I am no military guru, but it simply boils down to this: the government is turning away men and women who are willing to protect, fight and die for our country based on a personal lifestyle choice. DADT seems nothing more than a written policy allowing for discrimination in the military. During a time of war, while men and women work and fight to protect us, sexual preference actually matters? Really? Does it? The government is assuming that an out gay individual is actually a threat? Our military is facing all sorts of threats right now, but a gay officer certainly is not one of them. In a time of war or not, discrimination is never ok.
Another point: it is currently legal for same sex couples to marry in an increasing number of states. And in these states, hetero and homosexual married couples are allowed the same rights. Yet our government won’t allow these same residents to be out about their lives or their spouses if they were to enlist in the military? DADT is ridiculous and far too outdated.
But then I called my friend. Her husband is currently serving in Iraq and the military has been a part of their lives for well over a decade. My friend is a wonderful, progressive, baby wearing mom (it is no wonder we are as close as we are). So I asked her. Certainly this policy is something that is simply outdated, correct? Actual personnel in the military can’t possibly agree with this… right?
Well. The answer was not an easy one. This is what I learned. Serving in the military means more than simply having a job. It means you answer to the military for your private and professional life. And if a superior determines a policy, you do not question it. Also, policies, procedures and processes have been set up through history to carefully protect those that serve. To question or break down any of those ingrained policies would take a great deal of congressional work, time, paper shuffling, red tape rearranging, recruitment efforts, educating, briefings and – most importantly – money. Change in the military does not come quickly. Change in the military is not spurred on by political correctness or peer pressure. And she pointed out that during a war such as this, would changing up personnel policies right now be the best time to do so?
We debated for a long time. Our principles certainly do not jibe with how the military does things. I argued that women have recently been given more rights and responsibilities in the military so change is possible – but she argued back “barely”. While minority groups (“out” homosexual personnel aside) serve in the military, they are still very often (although certainly not always) discriminated against. That’s just the way it is.
But still. We can’t be afraid to push for equality just because discrimination in the army is really really hard to change, right? We can’t sit back and swallow DADT just because it is a very expensive pain in the ass to rectify, correct? I have certainly learned that a quick policy change will not just happen overnight with the wave of Obama’s wand. Nevertheless, DADT is outdated, outrageous and flat out discriminatory. I hope Obama does right by his promise to “fulfill his commitment” to change this policy (as noted in the letter on Maddow’s show). I am proud of our military personnel who serve our country, whatever their background, creed, color or sexual orientation. It is time our government is too.
Finally, last night, Rachel Maddow interviewed another decorated solider who has been dismissed for being gay after 18 years of service. This man has done amazing things for our country – what a loss. Please watch.
This is my thirdpost in a series written to honor Women’s History Month. My life has been profoundly influenced and affected by women writing and advocating on my behalf. And now, as I spend my days in a thinking, blogging, posting frenzy, I fancy myself a writer of sorts too. So, it’s high time I acknowledge the women that inspire. Here is my list of top 20 recommended women political bloggers, in no particular order.
Before we get started, please note that I did ask my fellow bloggers and readers who they read also. So this list includes my favorites along with those who have been recommended to me.
Ok then. Here we go.
1. Momocrats: While this is in no particular order, I still must put the Momocrats at the top of my list. As hardworking mothers and progressive thinkers, it often seems as if these women are speaking and advocating exclusively on my behalf when I read their posts. They are amazing writers, they know what they are talking about and the world is sitting up to listen to them.
2. Punditmom is my “go to” political blogger. When something is going down, I want to know what a smart, liberal minded, feminist pundit has to say about it. PM comes through for me every time. And sometimes you’ll even catch her speaking her mind on CNN and Fox too.
3. Julie Pippert is probably smarter than all of us put together. She’s extremely well informed, passionate about her politics and is a mother like so many of us.
4. Queen of Spain is kind of political blogger celeb in my mind. She landed an interview with President Obama during the election and has been seen on TV and at major political events ever since.
5. Writes Like She Talks is a fantastic political blogger and has written for Newsweek.com, has made several appearances on CNN and is a columnist. She is certainly a political blogger to be reckoned with.
6. Sairy is a Momocrat who’s found herself reporting from a White House Press conference, amongst other things. Here is her full bio – she is an important voice worth following.
7. Angry Black Bitch: Straight forward, very brilliant and never afraid, I met Shark-Fu on my first day of BlogHer 08 and have been reading her ever since.
8. Viva La Feminista writes as a feminist, Latina and mother – her voice is powerful, her message is important.
9. Mombian is an established lesbian family blog which discusses political topics affecting rights (or lack thereof) for same sex parents.
10. Feministing “is an online community for feminists and their allies.” The women here have created a talented and diverse community as they advocate for equal and human rights.
Other blogs recommended to me:
11. Citizen Jane Politics is described as an un-partisan, independent, political blog from women.
12. Blonder Than You is a DC blogger shooting straight from the hip, so to speak.
13. Women Wired In is a blog created for and about women, politics and technology.
14. Bang the Drum describes herself as a die-hard democrat and political junkie. She’s also a mom of three and lives in CA.
16. The Feministe: To quote directly from their bio, “Feministe is one of the oldest feminist blogs designed by and run by women from the ground up.” Now go read it.
17. The Little Pink Clubhouse claims that she has a “consuming interest in politics” and writes from a small town outside Seattle.
18. HeartFeldt Politics is written by Gloria Feldt, a women’s activist whose voice is heard – and read – everywhere from the Huffington Post to the New York Times.
19. Womanist is written by a mother who describes herself as a pacifist, anti-racist and humanist – oh yeah, and a woman-ist.
20. The Political Voices of Women: If 20 women political bloggers just aren’t enough for you, check out the Political Voices of Women where you will find over 500 women telling it how it is.
For all that these bloggers do to keep me informed and advocate on my behalf, I am grateful. Happy Women’s History Month to all of these political bloggers and the women they reach.
I am guessing that by now you are fairly familiar with my perspective as a liberal mom. Well, how about a father’s perspective? What is it like to be a liberal father raising children today? Wouldn’t you know it, my husband just happens to be a liberal father. So I sat him down tonight and asked him what his thoughts were on freedom of speech, equality, stereotypes about white men and the future of the Supreme Court. Come see what he has to say, his answers may surprise you.
Now to give you some background about my husband, he is a 6 ft, 4” white college athletics coach. He grew up in a privileged town in Connecticut; he just completed his MBA and might be one of the smartest people I know. We’ll call him B. for the sake of this interview.
Caroline: As a liberal father, what issues are most important to you?
B: I am pretty straightforward about my values. I believe in civil rights, civil liberties, freedom of speech and every citizen having an equal opportunity to succeed.
C: And what about how your values relate to raising our children?
B: Well, our sons are part of a privileged class as two white males. I just hope I can raise them to have the same values I do.
C: So what about being a white male? What are your thoughts on affirmative action and our son’s future’s as white males?
B: It’s a topic I struggle with. I mean, why am I the bad guy? I know my race and gender give me a certain privilege but I wrestle with legislated equality sometimes. I realize sometimes we have to manufacture equal opportunity – and I get it – but I’ll admit that I struggle with this issue.
C: What have been some challenges for you as a liberal father?
B: I think I am most frustrated with the assumptions people make about me. I am a white, male coach – stereotypes are immediately drawn up. I mean, come on, even on the most progressive college campus, the Athletic department is assumed to be the last conservative bastion. As a result, comments are made around me since folks may presume I may have a certain value system which I don’t.
C: So how do you deal with that?
B: If I am at work and someone says something that I disagree with, I usually walk away or say nothing. I’ve got work to do and I am not going to start something then, but my silence usually clues them in. If I am outside of a work environment though, I do usually say something or try to start a constructive conversation about the topic. I make no apologies for my politics, take them or leave them.
C: With the new administration, what is the most important issue for you as a liberal father?
B: Apart from the obvious issues of establishing economic and global security for this country (and in turn, for our family), the appointment of the next Supreme Court justices is an extremely important issue for me. The current liberal appointments are not getting any younger. Whoever Obama chooses will leave a lasting impression on this country – probably longer than his own administration will. Do you know what kind of Supreme Court justices I want in there next?
C(smiling because I already know – and love – this answer): Tell me.
B: I want a purple haired, pierced nosed, extremely bright, straight talking lesbian from Northampton, Massachusetts appointed next. In fact, I want three of them in there!
I paused here to give him a big ol’ kiss. I love this guy.
C: Ok well gay adoption is illegal here in Florida. And you’ve heard all the threats about how legalizing gay marriage would ruin our marriage. What are your thoughts as a liberal father?
B: What in the world does my marriage have to do with two gay individuals who decide to be married? The success or failure of our marriage is strictly our responsibility. I have yet to hear one good cognizant argument against gay marriage. It is an equal rights issue that needs to be granted finally. If my sons grow up and decide that they want to love and marry another man, that is their right and I think it should be recognized, supported and protected.
C: Any final thoughts about being a liberal dad?
B: Florida is an interesting place. As far as I can tell in our area, I would say that being a liberal father is not particularly common. One morning a few days after the election, I was sitting at a red light. I mean, here I am, a white guy, with my kid in his car seat, on the way to kindergarten drop off with an HRC and Obama sticker on my bumper. I just don’t see that too often around here. All of the sudden, a guy in the car next to me (with his own collection of Obama stickers) started waving and honking at me, giving me the thumbs up. I saw that he too had kids in car seats in his backseat. I think it was a unique moment to see another guy like me so fired about this election. It was an interesting moment for me.
So I’m a woman. And many years ago, I was a working woman. I earned a nice-ish little income, I had a title, an office with a view, I wore suits and shared smart ideas about important stuff with other smart, important people around lacquered cherry wood conference tables. There were women and men in our office. And I assumed our pay was equitable. Or was it?
According to Women on Business, women nationally make 77c to every dollar men earn. That is not equitable. And let’s say a woman has proof that she does not make as much as a male counterpart, does she have the resources, the support – heck – even the laws in place so that she can file a lawsuit arguing inequity in her office place? Well sort of – and not until very recently.
So who is Lilly Ledbetter and what does she have to do with this issue? Last week, a new Fair Pay Act was named after her. Why? After working almost two decades for Alabama Goodyear Tire, Ms. Ledbetter filed a suit against the company with proof that she was being paid inequitably compared to her male counterparts. However, she could not win compensation due to some fine print found in the Civil Rights Act. That fine print stated that if 180 days had passed since an employee received a paycheck, a complaint regarding inequitable salaries could not be filed.
What? After working with Goodyear for almost two decades, how was she supposed to know if her pay was considered inequitable and thus know when her 180 days had expired? Why was this situation her fault?
Last week, President Obama signed a bill to change this, allowing workers to more time to file such types of law suits. It seems an obvious change and one that should never have been over-looked – and yet this bill was only signed days ago.
The reality remains, however. Inequity in the work place will not just go away now that companies have to watch their own backs more carefully.
So how do other bloggers feel about the new Fair Pay Act? Do they feel this Act enough? Martha Burk at the Huffington Post feels more is needed and that we should look to New Mexico as an example:
“Not only will the state as an employer have to study and report its own pay practices when it comes to gender and race, so will private sector companies that want state contracts. Richardson [Governor of New Mexico] has declared overcoming pay inequity and job segregation a priority, and established a high-powered task force to implement the needed changes.”
“…the truth is that the Ledbetter Act simply restores employment-discrimination law to its pre-Ledbetter v. Goodyear standard. It doesn’t actually create new protections for workers, protections Ledbetter herself could have used — like a prohibition on employer retaliation if workers compare salaries.”
Punditmom agrees that this Fair Pay Act is a step in the right direction but questions whether the President is overlooking many other important issues in need of immediate attention for women such as increased health services. This apparent “tip of the iceberg” step towards fair pay seems to smack a bit of a quick fix, something to tide women’s rights activists over for the time being.
“This is not only an Act that will protect women like Lilly Ledbetter, but also countless other people paid less because of their race, national origin or religion. This Act clearly won’t be the remedy for all discriminatory pay decisions, but it’s a good start and sends a great symbolic message as Obama’s first law.”
Clearly, passing the Ledbetter Act alone will not solve discrimination issues in the work place. It seems simply the clarification of a detail. There is still so much more work to be done to truly establish equity amongst employees. But I suppose we all need to consider this a “glass is half full” moment. Thanks to this new Act, women can file a discrimination complaint and actually have a chance at compensation. Even if the Ledbetter Act is only considered one symbolic deckchair tossed impressively off the Titanic – it is still one step closer to a little something we all consider more American than apple pie: equal rights.
We can never take for granted how far we have come to ensure equality for every citizen in our country. Thousands of people have suffered so that the rights of our people are upheld and preserved. Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I have a dream” speech has lived in our minds for decades. It has remained alive in our hearts, reminding us to work for a dream, to accomplish the impossible. And tomorrow, with the election of Barack Obama, we are so close to realizing Dr. King’s dream.
But we can’t assume we have accomplished his dream entirely. We can’t assume equality comes simply with the election of an African American president, because it hasn’t. But we’re getting so close. And as we watch President-Elect Obama be sworn in tomorrow, there can be no doubt in our minds that the impossible can happen. Now, we have every reason to believe that Dr. King’s dream may soon be entirely realized.
I think it is all of our responsibilities to watch this speech, read this speech, and experience this speech before tomorrow’s inauguration. Amoungst everything that it represents, every one of us should understand the significance of this new presidency and the effect it will have on our hopes for equality in our country.
“I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.
Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.
But one hundred years later, the Negro still is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.
In a sense we have come to our nation’s capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men, yes, black men as well as white men, would be guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, a check which has come back marked “insufficient funds.” But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quick sands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God’s children.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment. This sweltering summer of the Negro’s legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.
But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.
We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to a distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny. They have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.
As we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, “When will you be satisfied?” We can never be satisfied as long as the Negro is the victim of the unspeakable horrors of police brutality. We can never be satisfied, as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro’s basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as our children are stripped of their selfhood and robbed of their dignity by signs stating “For Whites Only”. We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow jail cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.
Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to South Carolina, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.
I say to you today, my friends, so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.”
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, with its vicious racists, with its governor having his lips dripping with the words of interposition and nullification; one day right there in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.
This is our hope. This is the faith that I go back to the South with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
This will be the day when all of God’s children will be able to sing with a new meaning, “My country, ’tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim’s pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring.”
And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!
Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California!
But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!
Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.
And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, “Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”
The December holidays are finally winding down. Decorations are to be packed up, our homes are being put back into order and left over holiday goodies are being cleaned out of refrigerators. So naturally, as we are fed up with our past week of excess, what comes to mind during the December wind down? Resolutions. And lots of them. But I am a realistic person and I know that my personal resolution lists rarely pan out. So this year, I am doing it a little differently. I would like to consider what sort of resolutions Obama might want to make for 2009. Perhaps you may have a few to add to his list as well.
On the eve of a hope-filled New Year and his first inauguration, Barack Obama’s resolution list has got to be about a mile long. Although, I’m not sure how he can discriminate his resolution list from the endlessly unfurling to-do list draped over his desk right now.
In the midst of all that is to be taken seriously in the New Year, The Red Stapler Chronicles had some resolutions for Obama that gave me a good laugh. For example:
Fix the leaking faucet in the Oval Office to immediately save tax payer’s money
Make sure new puppy gets along with Biden’s new dog to avoid dog fighting scandal.
Now it’s my turn. Here are a few suggested resolutions this liberal minded mom might add to President-elect Obama’s list:
Prepare that pedestal.
With so much work ahead of him, folks may shove him right off that pedestal if he doesn’t change things on day one. Or, it could go the other way. Any difference he makes at all could officially establish his superhero status and permanence on that pedestal. Either way, he needs to ready his pedestal and be prepared for anything.
Keep that ego in check.
With all the inauguration fanfare and Obama mania ringing in the streets, he needs to keep a grounded perspective. I am expecting Michelle to see right through it all and remind him who Barack really is.
Keep it real.
President or not, he must remember his roots, his family, his heritage and the real reasons he got into politics in the first place.
Don’t forget the moms.
With his wife and mother-in-law dropping everything to raise his children, he better recognize the kind of work mothers actually do and that women nationwide are expecting more focus on rights for working mothers during his presidency.
Keep a sense of humor.
President-elect Obama is a funny guy. There is not much to laugh at right now but his sense of humor will serve him and this White House well in the midst of it all.
Stay squeaky clean.
After our last democratic president, I shudder to think about what sort of damage one stupid, selfish decision could do right now.
Keep those promises.
As any politician does during an election, Obama has made a lot of them. The difference is that this time if he doesn’t keep those promises and we don’t see change happen, a recession will be the least of our problems.
Play with your kids.
There is no better way to keep perspective and maintain sanity than to play with your children after a long day at the office solving the world’s problems.
And finally, I would like to wish the President-elect, his family and this entire country a very happy and hopeful New Year indeed.
And here’s a hand, my trusty friend And gie’s a hand o’ thine
I can’t help but empathize with Michelle Obama right now. As a mother of two small children myself, I keep trying to imagine what she is going through as she prepares her family for life in the White House. I think about her little girls growing up in Washington DC as I did, attending a school right down the road from where I grew up. And as I empathise with our future first lady, my ears perk up when I read both about the support and criticism she is receiving as an accomplished woman who has decided to make her role in the White House “mom-in-chief”.
There can be no more daunting task than trying to raise the First Children. Can you imagine? Your daughters must live in a virtual museum with some of the tightest security world wide. There is no spontaneously running over to a neighbor’s house to play. They will be isolated and protected from the world and yet they will have the most public lives of any child.
I wonder what comfort she has taken from all of this advice, if any. I wonder how much more advice is coming down the pike from other celebrity parents or those with political agendas or even advice from your average “Jane Parent” who always thinks she knows better anyway.
However, while Michelle prepares her girls and faces all of this advice, she must deal with those who already criticize her decision to put her girls first. Michelle is certainly an accomplished woman. A graduate of Harvard Law School, she continued on to work as an associate at a law firm and hold six board of director positions. She founded programs, she lead community outreach - she made “change” happen long before it was cool for an Obama to do so. But now, as her husband has been elected to be President, she has chosen to bring her career to a screeching halt and just be… well… a mom.
In a fascinating article written by Rebecca Traister at Salon.com, Michelle’s choices to focus on the traditional worries of a First Lady leave the author concerned.
“…some of the most extraordinary [qualities of Michelle Obama] – the ones that set her apart from many of her predecessors in the East Wing — are already falling victim to a nostalgic complacency about familial roles, and to an apparent commitment to re-creating Camelot with an African-American cast, but little modern tweaking of the role of wife and mother.”
She argues Michelle could push the envelope and bring a more career minded feminist into the role of a first lady. She seems disappointed she has chosen to put her role as a mother and wife first and foremost, while leaving all the rest behind.
Ruth Marcus from the Washington Post discusses the ever present question that arises between married parents such as the Obamas: who will work and who will raise the children?
“The brutal reality is that, like our president-elect, most men do not wrestle quite so strenuously with these competing desires [to work or raise your family]. So when the needs of our families collide with the demands of our jobs, it is usually the woman’s career that yields.”
She implies that Michelle was not given much of a choice in this matter. When Obama was elected President, her career had to end. And there was no other choice but to make her children a priority.
But has Michelle truly failed as a feminist by focusing on her children? Is her career an utter failure because she is stepping aside from it for the meantime? Has she lost all credibility as a potentially new, modern, variety of First Lady?
“She is smart enough and subtle enough to have worked out that so-called Mom issues can make for meaty public policy.”
And then explains that her position as a mother in the White House will in fact bring much needed attention to women who struggle daily as they balance their careers and family.
“Work-family balance? What is that, really, but a polite way of putting the feminist agenda of equal pay and decent childcare back on the table after so many years of neglect?”
Meghan O’Rourke at Slate.com sympathises that, once again, no matter if a woman chooses either work or parenting as the priority, they will be criticized for their choice. And most of often a woman’s biggest critic is herself. She then goes on to make this final point.
“The best way Michelle Obama can act as a role model for women right now is not by making the decision any one of us would make (because we’d all make different decisions), but by reminding us that life is fleeting, and we ought to immerse ourselves in the opportunities and joys of our own life as it exists. Not as it might exist.”
And so my identification with Michelle Obama remains true. With two small children, and a mountain of advice, she must trust her instincts and raise her girls the best way she knows how. There is no doubt in my mind that she will change the role and perceptions of the First Lady. And however she shakes things up, she has already made it unapologetically clear that she will make her girls her priority. In my mind’s eye, as a mother and brilliant leader able to remain fluid in her many roles as a woman, Michelle will make an excellent “First Feminist” indeed.
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