Entries Tagged 'Feminist tendancies' ↓

While last Tuesday night had many Americans dancing in the streets (and rightfully so – hell, I’m still dancing), we were also given a sobering wake up call. Bans on gay marriage passed in California, Florida and Arizona.

Forgive me as I state the oh so obvious, but this is very bad news for our country.

While we rejoice the fact that an African American man has become a United States President, there – sitting in the shadow of this wonderful moment - is hate, discrimination and fear. And so, a majority of people in these states voted that two people who love each other – who happened to be the same gender – do not deserve the same rights to marry as they do.

Gender. What the hell does it mean anyway? That I have to sit down to pee and my husband does not? That I have the physiology to make a baby and but my husband does not? Or that at Red Lobster, he goes into the “Bouys” room and I go into the “Gulls”? I mean, that’s it. Otherwise, we are as alike as any two people can be - with the same abundance of love for each other and our children, with the same abilities to think and reason, we catch the same germs when we get sick, we like to eat good food, and drink beer, and maybe he watches more football than I do but we BOTH watch Project Runway, for cripes sakes!

Now, my feminist tendancies are tapping my shoulder to remind me that men and women have not been treated the same since the dawn of man… er… people. (SEE?!?!) And gender is a very complex thing indeed (am wiping my brow remembering a Philosophy and Gender class I took in college). But, that’s not what I mean right now. I am talking about just the basics of gender. And that we are the same – except for some interesting bits of physiology. So, really, what it comes down to is that my husband and I – who love each other very much – are allowed to be married simply because he has twigs and berries, and I’ve gotta peach.

And so, depending on how we shuffle our twigs and berries and peaches, those with only the CORRECT assortment of said symbolic plant items can marry. Therefore, two people who love each other deeply but BOTH must use the”Bouys” room… well, call out the reinforcements and send lightening bolts down from the heavens – they absolutely CANNOT be married.

Folks think about it. When it comes to love and family, gender doesn’t mean anything. Love is love. And no one else should be allowed to tell me or anyone else who I can or can not love and marry.

Shoot, if all marriage boils down to is an assortment of the correct kinds of fruit, well then you may as well tell me that I couldn’t marry someone because he or she was shorter than I am. Or has a different shade of eye color. Or a different shade of skin than I do… (oh wait, we’ve done that one before).

Not allowing two human beings to marry – AND I DON’T CARE WHAT COMBINATION OF TWIGS, BERRIES AND PEACHES YOU’VE GOT – is discrimination people. It’s as simple as that.

So before I get any further stewed up and start hurling more fruit epithets your way, I will leave you with this. Please, PLEASE watch this special comment given by Keith Olbermann last night. He gets it so right for me and for all of us. Love is love people, and it’s simply a human right.

        CLICK HERE TO WATCH KEITH OLBERMANN’S SPECIAL COMMENT.

It finally happened. I voted today. As an democrat and American citizen, I could not be more proud to cast my vote for Barack Obama and Joe Biden. However, as a fellow American or global citizen, you may potentially be asking me: Why? Why did I decide to vote for the Obama/Biden ticket? With November 4th only days away, I thought I would share with you my own personal reasons for voting for Barack Obama to become the President of the United States.

1) The Economy. You and I know that our economic troubles are extraordinarily complex. Neither candidate is going to have an easy go at fixing these issues. However, I believe Obama’s focus on creating new jobs, supporting small businesses, holding banks and lenders accountable, and providing tax relief to middle America will certainly make an enormous impact. He is not about protecting the wealthy elite, he is about creating job opportunities and supporting hard working regular middle class folks – like me.

2) The Environment. We need alternative energy resources. We need to quit our addiction to oil and focus on more environmentally friendly transportation options. We all need to be held accountable for our planet. Obama takes our environmental issues seriously. However, he also sees this crisis as an opportunity to create new jobs and empower our own nation to reverse the damage done.  By putting our greatest minds and entrepeneurs on task, I expect we will discover clean energy solutions and escape out from under the thumb of foreign oil companies in the near future.

3) The Supreme Court. During the next four to eight years, it is very likely that the President will have to appoint one or more supreme court justices. As a woman who firmly supports a woman’s right to choose, I believe Barack Obama would appoint Supreme Court justices who will serve fairly and protect my rights as a woman.

4) Foreign Relations. It’s time for a President who can put the United States first while also respecting the countries that support and work along side us. It’s time for a President who cares less about his ego and more about diplomatically and sensitively working out peaceful solutions.  Its time for a President who thinks before he shoots. As a South African friend of mine recently noted, the world is watching and hoping for Obama.

5) The Iraq War. This war was a mistake. We need to be held accountable for this war – and the damage it has left in its wake. And then we need to bring our troops home safely. It will not be an easy task and troops cannot be pulled out immediately. But Obama has a plan to actually bring our troops home within 16 months, including phased deployment and more emphasis on diplomacy.

6) No more hate. I am so exhausted by the hate in our country. Offensive, from the gut, hateful emotions have boiled to the surface recently unveiling our country’s true discriminatory colors. Obama will be an important example as he guides this nation away from divisive, destructive leadership and towards healing and resolution. It’s time.

7) Education. Obama believes in recruiting capable teachers and compensating them appropriately. He is working towards making a college education affordable for everyone. A priority will be integrating parents into the education process, encouraging them to play a more active role in their child’s learning. Obama also wants to reform the half hearted attempt at No Child Left Behind.

8 ) Women. Obama will work towards equal pay for women in the workplace. Both nationally and internationally, he will stand behind victims of domestic abuse as well as HIV positive women and their children. He will put an emphasis on women’s health care research. He will also protect a woman’s reproductive rights and her right to choose.

9) Biden would be an able president. If something were to happen to Obama, God forbid, I feel that Joe Biden is 100% capable and ready to lead this country.

10) A leader I trust. Obama communicates a steady, strong, smart, honest sort of leadership to me. Yeah, he’s a younger candidate and he’s newer to the game. However, I would rather have a sensible, capable person of solid character in office, than an erratic, inconsistent, temperamental Washington good ol’ boy.

Every American has an obligation to vote for their President. And every voter bases their choice on their own perceptions, opinions and retained bits of information. The reasons I have listed are simply my own. This is where I have landed after processing all the information thrown at me during an exhaustive election year. My reasons may or may not jibe with your reasons or choice for President. Never the less, from where ever you sit, you have the right to your own opinions. And it’s time to act on them. Be the change you want to see. Please vote by November 4th.

Cross posted at Type A Moms.

Maybe all this bailout mess has left me twitched out and over stressed. I am not sure I am thinking in the right state of mind. That’s gotta be it. Because here’s the thing. I am sort of suddenly rooting for Sarah a little bit right now.

Egads! Has my evil twin taken over my blog? No, I swear. It’s still me.

Heres the thing. It is becoming decidedly clear that Sarah is not at all prepared to be the Vice President of the United States, let ALONE (…choking on my Cheerios here…) POTUS. …Shudder. And I am also thinking that most of you agree, even my repub readers. Sarah’s knowledge base has been tested over the past few days in interviews with Katie and Charlie. If you haven’t seen the interviews, check them out. I kind of can’t watch them more than once. It’s just the cringe factor, the “Oh my God, she really doesn’t know what she’s talking about, does she” thing, you know? But you should watch them, no matter which party you belong to.

And now Sarah will debate Joe Biden on Thursday. As I type this, there is no doubt she is studying like a mad woman, with coaches in her ear and stacks of talking points spread out all around her. Maybe even flash cards. Or timed tests while someone holding a stop watch stands over her shoulder. All the while, she’s dressed in a sweat suit with the Rocky theme song playing in the background.

And, to be fair, I would bet Biden is going through his own preparation too: “Don’t talk too much, Joe.” “Be cool, Joe.” “You know what you’re talking about, just stick to the facts.” “The responses are timed, Joe, don’t forget that!”

But, holy canoli, Sarah’s preparation is an impossible task. Just as Joe Biden did, she came in knowing what she knows and she, unfortunately, just doesn’t know enough. And that’s not necessarily her fault either. It’s McCain’s fault for not picking a more qualified candidate. And now her ignorance and ineptitude is being uncovered and displayed for all the world to see, question in disblief, or even laugh at.

I just can’t imagine. Perhaps I am simply relating to her as a woman and mom right now, trying to do too much, and knowing that no matter how hard she works, it’s never good enough. Being this far in over her head, how must she be feeling right now? 

And Joe Biden, Mr. “I’ve been in the senate since I was 29 and I can talk circles around you”, is smacking his lips, ready to rip the holes in her knowledge base even wider. If I were Sarah, I’d be crying in my glass of wine at night, I’d be sick to my stomach nervous and entirely overwhelmed and ready to hop the first plane back to Alaska.

But here’s my other dilema. Is my assumption that she is crying in her wine completely unfeminist of me? Am I being too soft on her? Would I be saying the same thing if she were a male? Am I underestimating her abilities? I truly don’t think so. If anything, as a woman, I actually gave her the benefit of the doubt thinking she could seriously be the Republican’s secret weapon. And now. No. That’s not the case. She’s just a person not prepared to be Vice President, as simple as that.

Here’s the thing, however - I really don’t WANT her to fail. No, I mean it. Please note that it is not my intention to come across snarky, condescending or patronizing here. I mean what I am saying. I WANT her to be good enough for this position. I don’t want to see a train wreck on Thursday - that will not make me feel good. I’d like to see a good solid debate with too qualified individuals sparring off on the issues, both on equal ground. (And of course, notes the Democrat in me, then see her loose fair and square.)  Honestly folks, I don’t want to see someone – who could very well potentially be POTUS afterall – be so damn clueless. And I’ll also admit, the idea of a woman finally being so close to the White House potentially failing so miserably makes me sick to my stomach. Amoungst everything else going on right now, Sarah Palin is just plain old scaring the crap outa me.

So Sarah, c’mon woman. You can do this. Show us what you’ve got. Let them be wrong. I won’t be on your side politically but I will be rooting for you. You’re Rocky, Biden is Mr. T - come out preprared and swinging. Let’s have a good clean fight.

SNL cracks me up with their own Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton.

I am sure many of you have seen this clip already.

Oh man. I just watched it again. Now THAT is what I call GOOD television. Phew.

Not that any of us were surprised by how dead on Tina Fey would be for a Sarah look-alike. I am thinking Lorne Michaels did everything in his power to get her to come back for this one. But if I were Tina? Oh, I’d have been fired UP to work that imitation to perfection. And she did. Applause all around.

But it wasn’t the Sarah Palin/Tina Fey thing that got me here. It was what SNL was trying to say between the lines. It was Hillary and what is probably really going on with her right now. 

They so get it, don’t they?

SNL Sarah: “Just look at how far we’ve come. Hillary Clinton who came so close to the White House and me, Sarah Palin, who is even closer.”

Seriously, can you imagine what is going through Hillary’s mind???

Hillary jumped into her campaign many moons ago with both eyes wide open. She’s a smart lady, I’d even agree with calculating (which can be a positive thing, seriously) - she knew what she was doing. She lined herself up for the nomination and busted her hump to get it. I know we dems harped on this quite a bit at the DNC but I’ll say it one more time – she ran a great campaign. And she lost by a hair, a wee few Obama lovin’ delegates hairs really. And while folks have noted sexism went down during it all (I’m one of those folks), still, she lost fair and square. What a shock for her, an incredible loss.

Then the DNC comes along. She truly becomes the star – the hero – of the show. What is Hill gonna say? How is she going to convince her supporters to vote for Obama? Don’t you remember? The orange pantsuit? Bill mouthing “I love you”s from the crowd. Her kick ass speech? And THEN the dramatic final nomination as she handed over her delegates?

Wow. This woman lost the nomination but it was suddenly HER responsibility to make sure the democrats win this presidency. No doubt about it, Obama needs her support like a fat guy needs cake. So she had to ride that DNC storm with dignity, with grace and with purpose. In the midst of her own personal loss and frustration, she had to convince an army of women that they had to vote for the other guy. She may have lost me at the end of her campaign but, no doubt about it, I have boatloads of respect for this incredible woman.

So, ok. Now the DNC is over. She knows she has to stay on the campaign trail but thats nothing compared to the drama of the DNC, right?

Well, in steps Sarah Palin.

Who??? Oh, right, the Governor of Alaska. Yeah.The obvious choice for McCain, right? I am sure he has… valid… reasons for his choice.

And not only is this wild card an overnight celebrity, but in one sudden moment, SHE is closer than Hillary ever got to becoming the first woman president of the united states. Wha…?

SNL Sarah: “Its truly amazing and I think women everywhere can agree, no matter your politics, its time for a woman to make it to the White House.”

SNL Hillary: “Noooooo, MINE!!!!”

Yeah, Hillary, how are you not flipping the freak OUT right now? And as the SNL skit points out, maybe Hillary didn’t even care about being a woman president – or at least that was never the priority of her campaign (as it shouldn’t be). She just wanted to be PRESIDENT for crying out loud. She is a smart, knowledgeable woman, well versed in politics, been waaaaay down the road and back when it comes to life in the Oval Office. And here comes Sarah Palin? Stepping off a plane fresh from the north pole, hair piled to here, blinking at the world around her with not. a. clue. about how to run the free world. Great google mooglie.

And Hillary, after ALL that she has accomplished, is left to re-invent herself and figure out some kind of ”Al Gore” comback story.

SNL Sarah: “And now I am just one heartbeat away from becoming the President of the United States. It just goes to show you that anyone can be president.

SNL Hillary: “Anyone. ANYONE. ANYONE!!!

SNL Sarah: “All ya have to do is WANT IT.”

SNL Hillary: Insane giggles…. “Yeah, if I could change one thing, I should have wanted it more.”

Hillary, how are you not losing your mind right now? Are you thinking the world has gone mad? Are you asking – just like I am – how the novelty of a lipstick wearing, pit bullish, hockey mom in the white house is so much more of a draw for votes? Because, really, who cares about her stand on the real issues or what kind of president she could make, she is in the PTA, JUST LIKE ME!!!!

Hillary, do the voices keep you up at night? Are you in therapy? Maybe a nice trip away to a buddist temple or something very remote and very grounded might do you some good once this election is over. I am worried about you.

But here is the bottom line though folks. Pay attention. This is really important: Sarah Palin is not – I repeat – is NOT running for president. That guy to her right, not First Dude, nope, the other one. McCain. Yeah HIM. He’s running for President. And Hillary Clinton is also not running for president, Obama is, with her full support. Let’s keep our eye on the ball.

One final note. SNL Hillary invites the media to grow a pair or she will lend them hers. SNL, tsk tsk. That’s the one thing you got wrong. Testicles are clearly not what are going to get it done around here these days. Women, the voters and the candidates, are the ones making this election spin. I would invite the media to actually grow a set of ovaries to find out where the real strength lies in the midst of this very historical, however maddening, race for the presidency.

“Sit down in my thinking chair and think. Think. Thiiink.” – Blues Clues

Do you ever have one of those moments? Those moments that make you stop and think hard, and you keep thinking about that moment long long after it has past? I have had three of those moments this weekend. I thought I would share.

Moment #1

At Target, I ran into a couple moms I know. I know them through my children. We are not particularly close but it’s always good to see these moms, say hello, chat a bit. And so that’s what we were doing. We had not seen each other much over the summer, our kids were in school, starting playgroups, bladdy bladdy blah… there was lots to catch up on.

I am not sure what we were talking about but suddenly, one mother lowered her voice to a whisper and said something like “that’s what a black person would do.” Before I could even think at all, I said “Well, gotta get going, I’ll see you ladies later!” And turned and left. Just like that. It was a gut thing. I just reacted. I didn’t like what I heard, I was offended, and I bolted.

I will admit right here, that has not always been my reaction either. In the past, I have ignored statements like this but carried on the conversation like nothing happened. Or changed the subject. Or tried to find an out for my friend - surely they didn’t mean it the way it sounded - and have allowed them to use the famous disclaimer “not that I am racist or anything”. I have never been proud of myself in retrospect - where I try to smooth over and actually normalize the moment. I may as well have said it myself.

This time I couldn’t ignore it. But I didn’t say anything either. I didn’t say ” I found that remark offensive.” I just bolted. I guess the message may have come across that I didn’t like what she said. Or it could have come across that I just had to go. I dunno. I am not sure how I feel about my reaction and I can’t stop thinking back about it.

Moment #2

We went to Busch Gardens this weekend. We have “fun passes” and go fairly often. Theme parks are to Florida what the Smithsonian is to Washington D.C. We take for granted what people travel for miles with families to see and do.

Anyway, my 5 yo son T. and I were in line for the Flume. You know which ride this is - the log ride – with the big drop at the end where we get all wet. T. is dying to be old enough for roller coasters and this was his first time on a ride with a big drop. So we were really excited – giggling and chatting, we were all wound up about it.

As we were only a few people away from jumping onto our own log, I heard a violent thump from behind me. I turned and saw a woman, slumped back in her husbands arms, eyes rolled up in her head, and an enormous gash – maybe 6 inches across – on her forehead. She had fainted and hit her head on the stairs. Blood was everywhere. We yelled for help, the Busch Gardens attendants were unsure - radioing managers, grabbing paper towels, running, whispering, clueless. I saw the hands of the girl with the paper towels, she was shaking.

Since we were ahead of the woman who fainted, they ushered us onto the flume and off we went. My heart in my stomach: for T. who had never done this before and for this woman, and all the blood, and the moment she was in.

After an exhilarating splashdown, squeals of delight and “let’s do it agains” from T., we pulled back around to get off our ride. I then heard the announcement that the Flume would be closed due to “technical difficulties”. I stepped off and carefully helped T. off too.

And thats when I saw the two boys. They were maybe four and seven. They were huddled together on the stairs, quite a few feet away from the woman lying on the ground. Obviously, they were her sons. They were crying quietly, the older boy had his arms around the younger boy; now and then he would pat his cheek or rock him gently. Like Hansel and Gretel, holding onto to one another, in utter shock, their world had just turned upside down.

I looked to see who was helping them. No one. Their father was too consumed with helping his wife and talking to the paramedics arriving on the scene.

And we were being pushed along and asked to exit on the right.

But those boys. There was a large fence separating where T. and I were and those boys. If only I could have stopped and stayed with those boys. If only I could have offered them some comfort. They were alone, they were too young to know it was going to be ok, they were utterly distraught, they had seen their mommy fall, they saw so much blood. All I can think now is how they will remember that horrible moment for the rest of their lives. Their mother was fine, all would be well, children have seen worse, but my heart broke for those boys in that moment.

Moment #3

I was in Wal-Mart this morning. (OK, ok, I know. I hear your booing. I’ve already said my piece on that place before. With our meager, pathetic, shoe-string budget, it is what it is.) I can’t believe it’s September already, and naturally, my mind is starting to gear up for the holidays. So we were wandering the aisles in the toy section. C. was starting to feel impatient for lunch and I knew my time was running out.

Suddenly C. said “Oooooh, Mama. Baby. Toe TOOT!” (Translation: Oh, mommy, that baby is so cute!) He saw a doll haphazardly left behind on the wrong shelf. C. adores babies. He can hardly keep his hands off any of my friend’s babies. They light up his world, I mean it.

Well, a lightbulb went off in my head. How can it be this child does not have a doll when he loves babies this much?

So off I wheeled in search of a cheap, small baby doll for C. Where could they be?

Oh. Right. The “pink” section.

I have two boys. I don’t get to the pink section often. And I gather all dolls are in the pink section, the girl section. So, into the pink I wheeled. And bingo. There, between the hideous Hannah Montana dress up crap and the Bratz dolls (What the HELL are they about! Ah!), there was a small section of dolls. He played with a few. We picked one out. It has a little hat and a pacifier as accessories. And as excited as he was, he shocked me by being so gentle with that doll. Carefully cradling it, jibber jabbering little comments to the doll, giving it the pacifier, hugging it, patting its head. He played with it all the way to the register, had the doll sitting next to him in his car seat home, on the floor next to him during lunch and, currently, the doll is tucked in T.’s bed across the room from C. as he takes his nap.

So I am glad we found that doll. It’s perfect. 

But I couldn’t help but mutter how crazy it is that the only dolls to be found were in the PINK section.

WHAT. BOYS can’t EVER have a doll?

WHAT. BOYS aren’t ever NURTURING?

WHAT shouldn’t I be encouraging my boy to nurture small babies, to be a good parent some day, for crying out loud!?

Cleary, dolls are for girls. Found only in the PINK section. UGH. GAG.

I should probably mention one thing, however. You know, that the baby we got? He’s dressed in blue. I assume he is a boy doll. And who picked that color out? I did. What was my point? Did I think that having him play with a boy doll, assuming he is a boy because he is in  blue, makes boys playing with dolls THAT much more ok? Like “It’s ok, its a DUDE doll.” The blue doll assures that C.’s masculinity is still intact?

Eh.

So whats that say about me?

Clearly, this Monday, I am lost in my own thoughts. And once again, obviously thinking way too hard about stuff going on around me. But I am guessing these kinds of moments will happen again. And what better home for them but here.

I hope you have a wonderful and less “over thought” start to your week.

So its been quite a week for our good ol’ boy McCain. On the heels of the DNC and in the midst of a hurricane, he announced his VP choice.

What, you didn’t hear? …Yeah right.

Palin has been dropped into the middle of the political scene, her entire life spilled out onto our national sidewalk, to be picked through, stepped on and assessed.

In my view? It needs some assessing. And you know that isn’t a partisan opinion either.

But I have to say, I have not been quick to paw through her stuff and sky-write my opinion. I am just too damn overwhelmed. There is too much to consider, too much to say but quite a bit to separate also: the real issues and then her personal issues. They are over-lapping, whether they should or not.

And yup, she’s a woman and I’m a feminist. And? Sure, I appreciate that the Republican party seems to want a woman VP. (I say “seems” assuming McCain really truly didn’t pick a woman to strictly gather left-over HRC votes. A crazy idea, right… right?) But that’s about as far as my feminist tendancies stay on board. After that, my feminist tendencies and I jump ship.

I guess I have been just kind of sitting here, with my mouth agape, trying to wrap my head around exactly what McCain was thinking.

While I am still not quite able to form complete sentences about the Republican veep choice, I am able to read about her. Like we all have been. And as I read, I started to gather together my favorite posts. A collection of sorts. And I thought I would share it. Check them out.

The Third Rail

Sarah Palin and Mommy Wars.

Why Sarah Palin is Good For Feminism.

I Want Sarah Palin in a Bad Way.

It’s Stuff Like This…

Palin in Comparison to Biden.

An Astonishingly Arrogant VP Selection.

No Way. No How. No Palin.

Palin Bashing.

Sarah Palin and Her Children.

As I am posting this, Palin is officially accepting the Republican nomination for VP right here -live- in my living room. While I post this, my brilliant blogger counterparts are probably doing a fabulous job of dissecting her speech and stringing it up so we are fully made aware of its innards. I’ll be reading. I am sure you’ll be reading. Do you have any favorite Palin posts? Share them below.

Meanwhile, back to the RNC. I mean… what the… I just can’t… how can she… why is this… how could they…

Yeah, I am still at a loss over here. So many thanks to all of you whose brains are working and making complete sense of this utter train wreck.

Can I ever let it go? Can I just relax and go to a movie without my feminist tendencies standing at alert, arms folded, shooting up warning flares at any mysoginist indiscretion? I only wanted to take my 5 year old son to see the new Star Wars movie for crying out loud. That’s all. What could possibly set me off there? Huh. Well. Practically porn fodder for zit-faced boys everywhere, the outfits on the female characters easily rival - if not actually trump - even the notorious Princess Leia “slave girl” outfit from Return of the Jedi (the same outfit that rocketed numerous 70s children through puberty - including my husband). George Lucas, I’m a big fan and all but… ewww, what are you thinking, you dirty old man?

My brother and I were raised on a very steady diet of Star Wars. At 5 years old, my father took me to see “A New Hope”. Since that first film, each of my family members proudly proclaim themselves Star Wars fans. As children, my brother and I used to sit and listen to the “Emprire Strikes Back” soundtrack for hours, which incorporated a storyline and direct cuts of dialogue from the film itself. I still have it memorized.

Han Solo: Well Princess, it looks like you managed to keep me here a while longer.
Princess Leia:I had nothing to do with it. General Rieekan thinks it’s dangerous for anyone to leave the system until they’ve activated the energy shield.
Han Solo: That’s a good story. I think you just can’t bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your sight.
Princess Leia: I don’t know where you get your delusions, laser brain.
(Chewbacca laughs)
Han Solo: Laugh it up, fuzzball.

Good stuff. And yes, after watching these movies on an endless loop for almost 30 years, the images, music, characters and dialogue are permanently burned into my brain. Call me a Star Wars nerd but no sci-fi movie moment gives me goose bumps quite like seeing the words “A long time ago in a galaxy far far away…”

So, my brother and I took T. to see “The Clone Wars”this weekend. Once in the dark theater, my sweet little boy climbed up and sat down, just barely able to keep the seat from flipping up on itself, craning to see over the monstrous bag of popcorn that he insisted keeping on his lap. I was proud to take him to a Star Wars movie (even if it was a weird cartoon sellout off-shoot of the original versions aimed entirely at merchandising for padowan learners like my son, but that’s another post entirely).

It kicked right off with violence. LOTS of it. Guns, shooting, explosions, clone troopers and battle droids being blasted into oblivion. I shifted in my seat. Get a grip. Boys dig this stuff. Save the anti-violence rhetoric for another time, right? Just chill out and think like a 5 year old. So I did, as best as I could, and laughed along with my son when one of the characters burped.

Enter Ahoska: the first female Jedi main character I have seen in a Star Wars film. Cool, right? She was young and feisty, ready to out-wit her male counterparts and take on the bad guys. Yup, cool… except for the revealing half shirt tightly outlining her enormous chest while exposing a perfectly flat brown belly. Blink. And this young Jedi (clearly the female role model of the film) is supposed to be – what - about 15? 16? What the hell is this about?

So the film goes on. More violence, more explosions, more “so-so” George Lucas dialogue. Oh, another female character enters the plot. And who is this? Ventress, the first female Sith (bad guy) character of all the films. Very cool. Again, I am trying to rally some appreciation for the fact Lucas is attempting to promote more strong female characters. But wait. Uh-oh, Ventress has let her cape fall to the ground. And there goes her skirt. She stands glaring, clutching a gleaming double-sided light saber in her fist. She is bald, with full lips painted in purple lipstick, her enormous chest heaving under her own backless half shirt, with a large gap exposing some crazy blue cleavage. Blink, blink. How is that thing even staying on her? Oh, that’s right, its a cartoon, it’s painted on. Literally. While she and Anakin duked it out, all I could see was frame after frame of cartoon T&A.

Meanwhile, Ahsoka is no longer fighting battles. She has been assigned to care for the baby Hut, a pathetic, stinky, burping kidnap victim. Anakin and Obi-wan, both FULLY clothed males mind you, are kicking battle droid ass while she is left to nag Anikin about getting the baby back because he has a fever. Oh come on! How can I not be annoyed at this point?

Ah, now enters Padme Amidala. I dig Padme. As Queen Amidala, she wore gorgeous outfits. She was powerful, she was a Senator, she held her own in battle, she could even fight while pregnant with twins. George Lucas did a pretty good job with her character. But wait. Oh no. Now she is in some white extraordinarily tight – also painted on – outfit. No cleavage but there are these pockets on her shirt that are arranged just so… to look a bit like the shapes of… nipples.

Did you hear that? That was the sound of my hand smacking my forehead. Or perhaps the sound of this generation’s 14 year old boys rocketing themselves in puberty… so to speak.

Seriously folks. I give up. At that point, my feminist tendancies were up in arms, launching a full blown riot in my conscience. While I dramatically grumbled and shifted in my seat, my brother glanced at me, giving me curious looks. What could possibly be up with his sister? And T. is oblivious. He’s just sitting there. Taking it all in. Just as my brother and I enjoyed the previous films, Star Wars images are being burned onto his enthusiastic Jedi-loving 5 year old brain. Terrific.

Ok, ok. Maybe I do need to lighten the hell up. It’s a movie, right? One could also argue that it’s been made for an older crowd, what with all of the violence and gratuitous T&A. That’s not meant for 5 year olds, that’s meant for 14 year olds. (Clearly.) Uh huh. And that’s why all those Star Wars toys on the market, newly encased in plastic and lined up on the shelves at Toys R Us, are labeled for ages 4 and up? Or that’s why the McDonald’s happy meals have Star Wars bobble heads in them? (Much to my son’s utter joy.)

But, honestly, the Star Wars nerd in me LOVES seeing all the star wars gear out now. I am thrilled that my son knows the inner workings of the dark side of the force. I am proud to hear that he wants to be Luke Skywalker for Halloween (even if Han Solo is sooo much cooler… and a total victim since he never got any back story in any of the prequels… again, that’s for another post).

I just get a serious case of the heebie jeebies when I watch a movie like this one with my son. I am literally witnessing physical standards for women’s bodies being imprinted onto his brain. By a cartoon. By Star Wars. By George Lucas.

So Guess what I’m going to be for Halloween? While I bypass my husbands desperate hopes that I wip together a little slave girl outfit, I’m getting out a white sheet, a black belt, some frosty lip gloss and the cinnamon buns for my hair. I’ll show my son what real Star Wars women are supposed to look like.

Heck yeah. May the force be with me.

After a week of democratic fervor, froth and frenzy; a week of endless pundit chatter, extraordinary speeches and historic nominations; and a week of way WAY too many cogs in my head spinning, churning and smoking away, I am left slightly short of breath. And as excited and energized as I feel after the DNC - honestly - I am left stressed out. For real. I am sitting here muttering and wringing my hands like a crazy woman.

What’s my problem?

Oh, Lordy. Well, I have just so much invested in this election. I have never wanted a candidate elected more in my entire life. There is so very much at stake and it’s freaking me out to care this much. And I know I am not the only one.

So what is my list of worries? Read along and see if yours are anything like mine. Here we go.

I am worried about the future of our supreme court justices.

I am worried about the future of this war and the lives of our military serving.

I am worried about my rights to choose.

I am worried about assuring equal rights for everyone.

I am worried discrimination of any kind has been acceptable for far too long.

I am worried about equal pay for equal work.

I am worried about our addiction to excess and stuff.

I am worried about how much less my house is worth.

I am worried about my outrageously expensive grocery bill.

I am worried about chocolate and tequila production prices going up yet again. (Didn’t you hear? Hershey’s chocolate costs were going up 11%! Damn this economy!)

I am worried that the average American family can’t afford to have one parent home with their children any longer.

I am worried Hillary supporters are going to dig in further and refuse to vote.

I am worried voters will choose their candidate based on race or gender ALONE.

I am worried Americans don’t look at themselves carefully enough.

I am worried we think more about ourselves and our own needs, than the needs of our society as a whole.

I am worried we are lazy and we won’t change old habits, focus on our environment, and break our addiction to oil.

I am worried Bush has permanently damaged our country.

I am worried this country has been dumbed down and can’t think outside the box.

I am worried we succumb too easily to fear mongering.

I am worried we have been at war for over 5 years and we are no safer from terrorism.

I am worried that Republicans and Democrats alike underestimate and make unfair assumptions about one another.

I am worried we really aren’t ready for change.

I am worried that no news is unbiased news and so I never know what  the real news is.

I am worried my sons might be drafted into war someday.

I am worried the rest of the world hates our country more than it did before September 11th.

I am worried about my horrid health care plan: if one of us were to become seriously ill, we would be in extraordinary debt.

I am worried about affording college in 15 years.

I am worried about trying to get some paid work within the next year.

I am worried about tax cuts and how they have already affected our local school system, public universities, our local infrastructure, my local library and other public systems set up to assist us.

I am worried that the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer.

I am worried about hate.

But I can’t forget Obama’s speech last night. I do believe their is some hope ahead *if* he is elected. And I’ve said this before, I know that even if he IS elected, he has one hell of a mess to untangle. But, there is hope. I will leave you with this last potion of his speech. (Please read his entire speech here.) I hope you find some hope in it as well.

America, we cannot turn back.  Not with so much work to be done.  Not with so many children to educate, and so many veterans to care for.  Not with an economy to fix and cities to rebuild and farms to save.  Not with so many families to protect and so many lives to mend.  America, we cannot turn back.  We cannot walk alone.  At this moment, in this election, we must pledge once more to march into the future.  Let us keep that promise – that American promise – and in the words of Scripture hold firmly, without wavering, to the hope that we confess.

Have a wonderful weekend, I am going to do my damnedest not too think so flipping hard and maybe even have a good stiff drink. (Probably not tequila, though… damn…)

(Oh and please note. Comments that might disagree with my politics or points of view are absolutely welcome. It’s cool. I love open, respectful discussion. It makes the world go round. However, if your comment is rude, it’s getting deleted. Enough said.)

We are finally back home. I still have bags to unpack. More laundry must be done. Another trip to the grocery store for items other than milk and bread might be nice. There are bills to pay, school supply checklists to complete, and phone calls to return.

And yet, here I sit. With my BlogHer gear spread out around me. My name tag is hanging on the wall while business cards, brochures, buttons, stickers and other various types of swag are dumped out here on my desk.

I am ready to remember my fabulous trip to San Francisco.

Or perhaps I’d like to click my heels and wish myself back there.

Some people like to call it BlogHer 08, but I like to think of it as the Magical Mommy Mystery Tour. What a wonderful, crazy trip it was.

(Be prepared my loyal readers. This post may be a doozy and even a bit too long for me to stand. But this conference, like this post, was overwhelming, lengthy, and a tidal wave of blogging information in of itself.)

It all started on a Thursday. I leaped onto a plane with my laptop strapped to my back, leaving my swirling world of mommy groundhog day in the capable hands of my husband. Five hours later I found myself in SF, being picked up by my long lost college roommate, her three boys and current boyfriend. She lives in Mendicino and lives a wonderful organic lifestyle on a farm there. We piled into the van, the smell of incense was thick, she offered me a sip of her raw chocolate milkshake. Oh thank the heavens, I was soooo not in Kansas Florida anymore.

We bounced through the city and met up with another long lost but equally wonderful college friend of mine whom I would be staying with. She’s an artist and has a piece hanging in gallery downtown. We stopped in to check it out. Art. Oh what a fabulous luxury to make, enjoy, consider and be a part of. ESPECIALLY without my children to wrangle. I have to give her a shout-out. You can find her here. She is amazing and I am so damn proud of her!

That night I reconnected with the old me. The me in college, the non-mommy me, seen through the eyes of old friends with good memories. Rejuvenated and officially back in touch with that that old self of mine, the next morning I was dropped off at 7:45am in front of the Westin-St. Francis Hotel. Again, I had my trusty HP laptop backpack strapped to my back (perhaps as my own blogging parachute of sorts) and I crossed the street to make my way into the hotel.

Deep breaths. Ok, where should I go? Is it really even here? What if the whole BlogHer thing is only a part of some online fantasy world. I mean, c’mon… bloggers? In REAL life? Could it even be possible? And then I saw a sign pointing me in the direction of registration. As I reached the top of the staircase, there I found a long line of women – blogging women – waiting, chatting, various and interesting. I found my place, got my name tag, my swag bag, and was off.

The maze of rooms, ballrooms, and hallways threw me right away. Where could I sit down? My overwhelmed brain was attracted and distracted by the flashing lights and stim from every direction. Table after table of vendors offered cool gadgets and big smiles. A group of women were playing Wii Fit in front of a flat screen TV. Smells of coffee, roombas vacuuming at my feet, computer screens flashing, laughter, women, even TV cameras and then a large blue mascot standing in front of me for some new PBS kids show… c’mon, hold on a sec, I can’t quite absorb all this… I need to eat first… where could I sit down? Finally, there was the grand ballroom filled with empty tables and I plopped down to eat my bagel.

The first two women I met were amazing. Shark Fu – aka Angry Black Bitch – to my left and Zanaru at Create It Herself to my right, the conversation was fun and light and I was so glad to meet them both. As the morning went on, I met Moosh in Indy, Mama Spohr, Susan Wenner Jackson from Working Moms Against Guilt, and Kim Sue Ellen from Simply me. I met Lucrecer from Art Slam- what a cool blog! And Allese Thomson just starting out at Behind the Make-up had such interesting things to say.

I jumped into my first break-out session: Is mommy blogging still a radical act?  Watch part of it for yourself. It was one of the best sessions. I am also now a huge fan of Polly Pagenhart, otherwise known as Lesbian Dad.

Then I went to a mommy blogging session on Parenting and Privacy. It was there I met Christine Rury from Home Team Wins- we sat and stressed over the pictures of our children on our blogs that could be photoshopped, stolen – oh man, what were we doing to our babies? Out there in mommblogger land, the kosher amount of information we share about our children seems to run the gamut. Some don’t post their children at all, some post pics and their full names. It’s a personal choice. And I realized what sort of reality show and entertainment for the masses blogging can be.

I met more cool women over food, in the halls, having coffee: Clairenation, Lara David, Spinning Yellow, Stimey (I blame you for my new Twitter addiction! Honestly, I am glad I got over it and joined. It was so great to meet you.), ShallowGal, Crummy Cupcake, Anne Fritz from The Jet Set Girls, Katherine Gray of Dirt to Dish, and Vampituidty.

But wait. I can’t forget my new friend Terri who works with HP. She helped me get my new laptop and video camera up and running. Supportive, smart and so positive about blogging, Terri was a wonderful friend to have there! And if it weren’t for Terri, I never would have gotten video footage of me meeting a true celebrity, recognized far beyond the world of blogging: Grover and Abby Cadabby from Sesame Street. Actually, what was really fun was talking to the voice behind Grover, and she caught that too. I hope to post the video soon.

Before BlogHer wrapped up for the day, there was a community keynote with about 20 bloggers reading various posts of theirs. I gather BlogHer will be posting more of the readings from that evening. Honestly, people, these speakers were AMAZING - and you can watch the first speaker here.

That night, the bloggers made there way to an uber-hip club called Ruby Skye. It was very cool but I felt frumpy. I was still in the same clothes since I did not have a chance to change. But the food was great and I met an awesome mommy blogger: Tricia from Four Plus Four Equals Ten. We chatted, compared notes on the day and missed our kids together. On the way out the door, I met two more very cool bloggers. Military mama whom I follow and had her sweet little one with her asleep on her shoulder. And then Deb on the Rocks – and she actually does rock, no doubt.

The next morning, I felt a little less peppy and a lot more weary. I sat down from some breakfast, hardly feeling exactly witty or on my “A” game. And who should make her way and find a seat next to little ol’ me? One of my fav bloggers ever: Pundit Mom.

Um, ok. How do I NOT look like a dork? How do I just chill out and seem as unstalker-ish as possible. I did my best, I really did Pundit Mom. Not sure if it worked though. But I’ll gush here because I can: I think you’re really smart and cool and it was honestly an honor to meet you. And thanks for the little Pundit Mom pin, I wore it the rest of the day. (I know I know, my friends. I am a big old nerd.)

I also met A Girl and a Boy who is now expecting a boy! Congrats to her! And then met Slouching Mom and I am now an official fan of her site too.

Revived by the cool bloggers I had met, I slung my backpack over my shoulder, found my way through the maze of hallways and pushed into the most crowded session I had been to yet: How we communicatre building traffic via content and community. I found a small spot on the floor, I could hardly see the speaker, but solomenly took notes on my laptop. It was an excellent session and I learned a great deal. Phew though, I guess I have a looong way to go.

The day continued and onto more sessions I went. My bag got heavier, the jet lag was catching up to me and I finally found myself hiding in corners just to catch up on email and try not to make too much eye contact. I had a feeling the women huddled over their own laptops here and there felt the same way too.

A quick note about the “high school”ish reputation BlogHer seems to get. Eh, I guess there was the cool crowd, the cliquish types and even the star bloggers (who are probably so nice) that I couldn’t quite bring myself to say hi to. (Julie Pippert, you’re one of them, as well as Mom-101 and Queen of Spain. WHY didn’t I just suck it up and say hi??? Silly me.) Here’s the thing. I went to a women’s college (go yoke!)and I “get” women together. Sure, you’ll have some catty stuff here and there. But I honestly think most women just aren’t used to being in an all women’s environment. They ASSUME catty stuff, gossiping and backstabbing is happening all around them. However, I’d bet if you did go up and chat to that cool group of women laughing about whatever, they would gladly have you jump in on the conversation. Women seem programmed to think other women will rip them down. It’s very discouraging. I honestly have more faith in women than that. All women environments can actually bring more strength and confidence than you can imagine. There is camaraderie, there is room for everyone to be a leader, there is no glass ceiling. It might just be hard to figure that out in a couple days, where everyone is feeling insecure and outed when they usually are somewhat hidden by the blogosphere. It certainly makes for an interesting dynamic. But enough about that.

The final highlight of the day was the Closing Keynote speakers: Heather Armstrong and Stephanie Klein. We all gathered in the grand ballroom, excited and twittering “DOOCE DOOCE DOOCE DOOCE”, our laptop screens lit up like lighters at a concert. They were great. We hung on their every word. I am not a regular reader of either but to see such successful bloggers talk about their lives in the public eye was fascinating and extraordinarily eyeopening.

That night I had a red-eye to catch home. I popped into the party over at Macy’s briefly but I just couldn’t hustle up the party-girl in me to get too fired up and stay for very long. Instead, I hauled my stuff to the lobby and called my husband. I was ready to come home.

But BlogHer had one more surprise up her sleeve for me. As I got settled into the airport shuttle van, who should I run into? But two other bloggers, of course. Not just bloggers, but panel speakers. Adele at A book Without a Coverand Shaz at Shaziamistry. We were fast friends and had an early dinner together at the airport before parting ways (Adele, I hope you made your flight! My tweezers DID make it through security, by the way…). I would recommend checking out Shaz’s website if you are a newbie blogger. She has all sorts of techie advice, especially hints about wordpress! If you want real in-depth help, she loves Starbucks (hint hint)… or I am sure she wouldn’t mind being paid for real either. But what a wonderful treat to meet such cool women on the heels of such an amazing event.

And with that, I climbed onto the plane. I popped my contacts out, said a prayer of thanks there was no “Mr. McFeely” or possible groper seated next to me to worry about, and fell fast asleep.

Friends, if you have made it to the bottom of this post, a round of applause to you for sticking out BlogHer 08 with me. And stay tuned for Grover and Abby Cadabby video coming up soon! Now I better clean all this BlogHer stuff up, it’s like I am pining away about my college days or something. Sheesh.

(p.s. Did you see the BlogHer 08 write up in the NY Times? And then I also found Pundit Mom’s response pretty interesting too.)

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYtYThQq61U]

By now, you know I love my Girl Groups. You know I am absolutely fascinated with those bee-hived, shoop-shooping wonders of the 60s and would do anything to fly back in time to see them live on stage. But, for the record, 60s Girl Group lyrics are completely and utterly insane – and there are a few that truly concern me.  Some songs make no sense at all like “Shoop Shoop De Doop Rama Lama Ding Dong Yeah Yeah Yeah”  by the Clinger Sisters or how about “When My Pimples Turned to Dimples” by Jeanne Hayes. Um… Huh? During my obsessive Girl Group period around 12, half of the time I hardly knew what most of these groups were going on about – and just appriciated the music at face value. But it’s really a good thing that I didn’t pay much attention to the lyrics. The other day while reminiscing about those old tunes, I found myself actually listening to what the lyrics said. My dreamgirl antics were stopped dead in their tracks. Hold on a second… are you KIDDING ME with this stuff?

Let’s start with Lesley Gore. What is going on with this woman?

That’s The Way Boys Are by Lesley Gore

When I’m with my guy and he watches all the pretty girls go by…
Well I feel so hurt deep inside, I wish that I could die!
Not a word do I say…
I just look the other way!
‘Cause that’s the way boys are!
That’s the way boys are!
When he treats me rough and he acts as though he doesn’t really care…
Well, I never tell him that he is so unfair!
Plus, he loves me and I know it…
But he’s just afraid to show it!
‘Cause that’s the way boys are!
That’s the way boys are!
Oh, when he wants to be alone…
I just let him be!
‘Cause I know that soon enough…
He will come back to me!
When we have a fight,
I think that I won’t see him anymore!
Then before I know it – there he is…
Standin’ at my door!
Well I let him kiss me then…
‘Cause I know he wants me back again!
That’s the way boys are!
Yes, that’s the way boys are!
Oh, I love him!
Well now, that’s the way boys are!
I said that’s the way boys are!

Maybe I Know by Lesley Gore

Here’s another fav of mine. My awesome feminist college A Capella group actually sang this one because, honestly, what a joke…

Johnny Get Angry  by Shelley Faberes

I Adore Him by The Angels

When we’re with other people

He treats me mean

But when we’re off together

Oh, you know I’m his queen

Tho sometimes I cry at night

He makes things turn out alright

Yes, sir

When we walk hand in hand

Through the roughest part of town

I never feel afraid

Knowing he’s around

He may be cheating on me

But I don’t care

Cause when I need his loving

He’s always there

I can’t help but wonder why

I’ve been blessed with such a guy

But the group that honestly takes the cake is The Crystals.

He Hit me (and it felt like a kiss) by The Crystals

If you gotta hurt somebody, please hurt me
and if you gotta break a heart, then please break mine
I won’t cry if you deceive me
I’ll take it with a smile
I know someday you will leave me
but at least I’ll have you for a while
So darlin’, if you gotta hurt somebody, please hurt me
and if I have to be a plaything, that’s what I’ll be
Please hurt me, oh please hurt me
Come on and please hurt me
Why don’t you please hurt me

Seriously. What the hell. Reading their lyrics leaves me at a total loss. I am trying to wrap my head around the idea that these lyrics were not considered controversial at all but, in fact, were completely acceptable. They wouldn’t play Leader of the Pack by The Shangri-Las because it was a “Death” song, but *THIS* stuff was just fine?

And more importantly, does anyone know if The Crystals turned out ok? For real, I’m worried. Who were their fathers – and are they in jail? Did these women seek out heaps of therapy and eventually find loving partners and joy in their lives? Have they recovered from whatever abuse they must have endured?

But wait, did these women actually write their own music? Hell no! (Of course not.) After a quick stop over at our favorite search engine, Google, it has become apparent that The Crystals, amongst other 60s girl groups, were actually produced by the one and only (eeeks!) Phil Spector. AH. Everything has become a whole lot clearer. But no less worrisome.

Nevertheless, I continue to adore 60s Girl Groups. When they’re not asking their men to hit them, this  music is just fun. And at least we can be rest assured that our girl Lesley Gore did come around and find the strength within to tell those boys to step off. For whatever comfort it is worth, I will leave you with one of her hits, “You Don’t Own Me”.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmOrWG2FTbg]