I can’t help but empathize with Michelle Obama right now. As a mother of two small children myself, I keep trying to imagine what she is going through as she prepares her family for life in the White House. I think about her little girls growing up in Washington DC as I did, attending a school right down the road from where I grew up. And as I empathise with our future first lady, my ears perk up when I read both about the support and criticism she is receiving as an accomplished woman who has decided to make her role in the White House “mom-in-chief”.

There can be no more daunting task than trying to raise the First Children. Can you imagine? Your daughters must live in a virtual museum with some of the tightest security world wide. There is no spontaneously running over to a neighbor’s house to play.  They will be isolated and protected from the world and yet they will have the most public lives of any child.

And so Michelle Obama has chosen to make parenting these children her priority. However, within days of learning about her future in the White House, Michelle had already received her fair share of advice. Hillary has jumped in to say her piece. Tony Blair’s wife, Cherie, had a few things to say. And even FDR’s grandson offered some words of wisdom. While Michelle did not formally ask for Laura Bush’s advice, the current first lady did share her suggestions with the press later.

I wonder what comfort she has taken from all of this advice, if any. I wonder how much more advice is coming down the pike from other celebrity parents or those with political agendas or even advice from your average “Jane Parent” who always thinks she knows better anyway.

However, while Michelle prepares her girls and faces all of this advice, she must deal with those who already criticize her decision to put her girls first. Michelle is certainly an accomplished woman. A graduate of Harvard Law School, she continued on to work as an associate at a law firm and hold six board of director positions. She founded programs, she lead community outreach - she made “change” happen long before it was cool for an Obama to do so. But now, as her husband has been elected to be President, she has chosen to bring her career to a screeching halt and just be… well… a mom.

In a fascinating article written by Rebecca Traister at Salon.com, Michelle’s choices to focus on the traditional worries of a First Lady leave the author concerned. 

“…some of the most extraordinary [qualities of Michelle Obama] – the ones that set her apart from many of her predecessors in the East Wing — are already falling victim to a nostalgic complacency about familial roles, and to an apparent commitment to re-creating Camelot with an African-American cast, but little modern tweaking of the role of wife and mother.”

She argues Michelle could push the envelope and bring a more career minded feminist into the role of a first lady. She seems disappointed she has chosen to put her role as a mother and wife first and foremost, while leaving all the rest behind.

Ruth Marcus from the Washington Post discusses the ever present question that arises between married parents such as the Obamas: who will work and who will raise the children?

“The brutal reality is that, like our president-elect, most men do not wrestle quite so strenuously with these competing desires [to work or raise your family]. So when the needs of our families collide with the demands of our jobs, it is usually the woman’s career that yields.”

She implies that Michelle was not given much of a choice in this matter. When Obama was elected President, her career had to end. And there was no other choice but to make her children a priority.

But has Michelle truly failed as a feminist by focusing on her children? Is her career an utter failure because she is stepping aside from it for the meantime? Has she lost all credibility as a potentially new, modern, variety of First Lady?

According to Geraldine Brooks at The Daily Beast, she can make parenting her priority while still representing women as a powerful example.

“She is smart enough and subtle enough to have worked out that so-called Mom issues can make for meaty public policy.”

And then explains that her position as a mother in the White House will in fact bring much needed attention to women who struggle daily as they balance their careers and family.

“Work-family balance? What is that, really, but a polite way of putting the feminist agenda of equal pay and decent childcare back on the table after so many years of neglect?”

Meghan O’Rourke at Slate.com sympathises that, once again, no matter if a woman chooses either work or parenting as the priority, they will be criticized for their choice. And most of often a woman’s biggest critic is herself. She then goes on to make this final point.

“The best way Michelle Obama can act as a role model for women right now is not by making the decision any one of us would make (because we’d all make different decisions), but by reminding us that life is fleeting, and we ought to immerse ourselves in the opportunities and joys of our own life as it exists. Not as it might exist.”

And so my identification with Michelle Obama remains true. With two small children, and a mountain of advice, she must trust her instincts and raise her girls the best way she knows how.  There is no doubt in my mind that she will change the role and perceptions of the First Lady. And however she shakes things up, she has already made it unapologetically clear that she will make her girls her priority. In my mind’s eye, as a mother and brilliant leader able to remain fluid in her many roles as a woman, Michelle will make an excellent “First Feminist” indeed.

Cross posted at Type A Moms.

SNL cracks me up with their own Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton.

I am sure many of you have seen this clip already.

Oh man. I just watched it again. Now THAT is what I call GOOD television. Phew.

Not that any of us were surprised by how dead on Tina Fey would be for a Sarah look-alike. I am thinking Lorne Michaels did everything in his power to get her to come back for this one. But if I were Tina? Oh, I’d have been fired UP to work that imitation to perfection. And she did. Applause all around.

But it wasn’t the Sarah Palin/Tina Fey thing that got me here. It was what SNL was trying to say between the lines. It was Hillary and what is probably really going on with her right now. 

They so get it, don’t they?

SNL Sarah: “Just look at how far we’ve come. Hillary Clinton who came so close to the White House and me, Sarah Palin, who is even closer.”

Seriously, can you imagine what is going through Hillary’s mind???

Hillary jumped into her campaign many moons ago with both eyes wide open. She’s a smart lady, I’d even agree with calculating (which can be a positive thing, seriously) - she knew what she was doing. She lined herself up for the nomination and busted her hump to get it. I know we dems harped on this quite a bit at the DNC but I’ll say it one more time – she ran a great campaign. And she lost by a hair, a wee few Obama lovin’ delegates hairs really. And while folks have noted sexism went down during it all (I’m one of those folks), still, she lost fair and square. What a shock for her, an incredible loss.

Then the DNC comes along. She truly becomes the star – the hero – of the show. What is Hill gonna say? How is she going to convince her supporters to vote for Obama? Don’t you remember? The orange pantsuit? Bill mouthing “I love you”s from the crowd. Her kick ass speech? And THEN the dramatic final nomination as she handed over her delegates?

Wow. This woman lost the nomination but it was suddenly HER responsibility to make sure the democrats win this presidency. No doubt about it, Obama needs her support like a fat guy needs cake. So she had to ride that DNC storm with dignity, with grace and with purpose. In the midst of her own personal loss and frustration, she had to convince an army of women that they had to vote for the other guy. She may have lost me at the end of her campaign but, no doubt about it, I have boatloads of respect for this incredible woman.

So, ok. Now the DNC is over. She knows she has to stay on the campaign trail but thats nothing compared to the drama of the DNC, right?

Well, in steps Sarah Palin.

Who??? Oh, right, the Governor of Alaska. Yeah.The obvious choice for McCain, right? I am sure he has… valid… reasons for his choice.

And not only is this wild card an overnight celebrity, but in one sudden moment, SHE is closer than Hillary ever got to becoming the first woman president of the united states. Wha…?

SNL Sarah: “Its truly amazing and I think women everywhere can agree, no matter your politics, its time for a woman to make it to the White House.”

SNL Hillary: “Noooooo, MINE!!!!”

Yeah, Hillary, how are you not flipping the freak OUT right now? And as the SNL skit points out, maybe Hillary didn’t even care about being a woman president – or at least that was never the priority of her campaign (as it shouldn’t be). She just wanted to be PRESIDENT for crying out loud. She is a smart, knowledgeable woman, well versed in politics, been waaaaay down the road and back when it comes to life in the Oval Office. And here comes Sarah Palin? Stepping off a plane fresh from the north pole, hair piled to here, blinking at the world around her with not. a. clue. about how to run the free world. Great google mooglie.

And Hillary, after ALL that she has accomplished, is left to re-invent herself and figure out some kind of ”Al Gore” comback story.

SNL Sarah: “And now I am just one heartbeat away from becoming the President of the United States. It just goes to show you that anyone can be president.

SNL Hillary: “Anyone. ANYONE. ANYONE!!!

SNL Sarah: “All ya have to do is WANT IT.”

SNL Hillary: Insane giggles…. “Yeah, if I could change one thing, I should have wanted it more.”

Hillary, how are you not losing your mind right now? Are you thinking the world has gone mad? Are you asking – just like I am – how the novelty of a lipstick wearing, pit bullish, hockey mom in the white house is so much more of a draw for votes? Because, really, who cares about her stand on the real issues or what kind of president she could make, she is in the PTA, JUST LIKE ME!!!!

Hillary, do the voices keep you up at night? Are you in therapy? Maybe a nice trip away to a buddist temple or something very remote and very grounded might do you some good once this election is over. I am worried about you.

But here is the bottom line though folks. Pay attention. This is really important: Sarah Palin is not – I repeat – is NOT running for president. That guy to her right, not First Dude, nope, the other one. McCain. Yeah HIM. He’s running for President. And Hillary Clinton is also not running for president, Obama is, with her full support. Let’s keep our eye on the ball.

One final note. SNL Hillary invites the media to grow a pair or she will lend them hers. SNL, tsk tsk. That’s the one thing you got wrong. Testicles are clearly not what are going to get it done around here these days. Women, the voters and the candidates, are the ones making this election spin. I would invite the media to actually grow a set of ovaries to find out where the real strength lies in the midst of this very historical, however maddening, race for the presidency.

All of the books I am reading are shelved. For now. Favorite TV shows - yup, even Project Runway - will be caught up with later. Craft projects, scrap booking, digital picture editing – um, another time. Shoot, even the dishes are being done on an “as needed” basis. (Did someone just yell out “Whats new?”, I heard that…) The kids ARE being cared for, but phrases such as “in a minute honey” and “why don’t you go play with your brother” are being muttered a little more often than usual.

What could possibly have my attention to this degree?

The Democratic National Convention. Of course. I can’t seem to get enough of it. Truly. In fact, excuse this fumbling post, lots of thoughts and lots of distraction. The DNC, of course, is on while I write this. (Oh look, Wyclef Jean is on MSNBC, cool.) Seriously, though. This election is so damn important. This country needs Obama as president so very badly. And the DNC has brought together every democratic bigwig superstar you could imagine. If there was a time when this campaign was going to rock out bigger and badder than ever before, it would be now. It should be now.

Because I am wringing my hands here a bit. There is all kinds of chatter about democratic divisiveness, Clinton followers not able to jump onto the Obama train, and the race between McCain and Obama being a lot closer than it should be. I need to see this fixed and am hoping it could happen at this convention.

And then the speeches. Ted Kennedy last night – wow. He. Blew. Me. Away. Brain tumor, shmain tumor, he was on task, he said what he had to say loud and clear. Kennedy is a man speaking about his issues with passion and determination; it is also apparent he is a man living on borrowed time. It seemed nothing would have kept him from speaking last night at the DNC. Nothing.

And then Michelle. This is what I said in a comment over at BlogHer:

I have been frustrated by how careful the campaign has been with Michelle and the “unpatriotic” rep she seemed to have earned – however unfairly. I just haven’t had a good opportunity to really hear Michelle. Up until now. Watching and listening to her last night was amazing. I finally, FINALLY felt like I got to hear from the real Michelle. Sure her speech was carefully written but – wow – either she’s one hell of an actor or she meant every single word she said. I am thinking the latter. She is so REAL, and so genuine. She has a great deal to contribute and stands up for the sort of committed values I believe in. When she said what she and Obama stood for, I just about stood up and yelled at the TV “ME TOO!!!!” And such an amazing mother too. To allow her daughters to have the mic and just go for it, I loved that. It was very “take us or leave us, this is who we are.” What a wonderful family all around.

One of my favorite quotes from last night was:

And Barack and I were raised with so many of the same values: that you work hard for what you want in life; that your word is your bond and you do what you say you’re going to do; that you treat people with dignity and respect, even if you don’t know them, and even if you don’t agree with them.

Thats when I almost jumped up and yelled “ME TOO!!!!” And then here:

That’s why he’s running – to end the war in Iraq responsibly, to build an economy that lifts every family, to make health care available for every American, and to make sure every child in this nation gets a world class education all the way from preschool to college. That’s what Barack Obama will do as President of the United States of America.

He’ll achieve these goals the same way he always has – by bringing us together and reminding us how much we share and how alike we really are. You see, Barack doesn’t care where you’re from, or what your background is, or what party – if any – you belong to. That’s not how he sees the world. He knows that thread that connects us – our belief in America’s promise, our commitment to our children’s future – is strong enough to hold us together as one nation even when we disagree.

(Her entire speech can be found here.)

Goose bumps I tell you. And to think that we could have a president with these values, well, I am holding on to my heart and keeping my eyes glued to the TV.

But I am just here. Just a mom, just doing my thing, affecting very little during this extraordinary time in our country. I am wringing my hands and muttering, but continuing to do the stuff of moms: carting my son home from school, grocery shopping, cooking dinner, cleaning mis-aimed little boy pee off the toilet seat (and floor, and tub), searching the house for the toy hammer (seriously, if anyone has seen that hammer, please please please tell me where it is. I hear the chant “whehw hammew, hammew, hammew, hammew” endlessly. ENDLESSLY I tell you).

So how can I play any sort of active role in the DNC? Or even feel like my voice is standing for anything at all? While I continue to do just this regular ol’ stuff, the stuff of moms?

Well, God bless cable news and the internet. And twitter. And the MOMocrats. This is how I have tried to take a more active part in this DNC:

• I watch the news, C-Span, CNN, MSNBC. Not Fox, really, but maybe I should?
• (Permission to state the obvious but) I am online and reading: News sites, blogs, newspapers.
• I am specifically reading the DNC blog.
• I write. Blog. Email. Twitter.
• I talk to the TV. I like to pretend that Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow and I are deep in conversation together. They think I’m brilliant, they do. I invited them over for martinis after the DNC but they haven’t responded quite yet.
• I follow MOMocrats at their website and on twitter. Their team of amazing democratic blogging moms are at the DNC interviewing, watching, blogging and twittering (#dnc08, #momocrats) live. They even got stuck in the middle of a protest last night. I can’t stop reading; they have made this DNC real to me. They have made me feel like there are women just like methere to say what I want to say. Thank you MOMocrats.
• Tonight, I am going to watch Hillary’s speech while I follow PunditMom (another MOMocrat) and other bloggers “live-blog” over at BlogHer.
• Over at Viva La Feminista, I found this amazing website: This Is What Women Want. Say your piece.

And if you are a reader but not a democrat, I hope that when the RNC begins next week, you will follow along and try to connect with your party in an active way also. Get informed and find a venue for your ideas, everyone needs to be heard. Every voice, every person, EVERY VOTE COUNTS.

Peace out, DNC on, Obama 08.

Honestly, being the eternal optimist, I really reeeeaally want to believe she didn’t mean it the way it came out. Tell me she was just tired, right? Tell me she meant that her husband didn’t wrap it up until June and RFK was still wrapping his race up in June also and that mentioning him had NOTHING to do with his assisination, not really. Right? Even though discussions and concerns about the potential threat of assisnation have surrounded the Obama camp for some time. Its just GOTTA be a bad coincedence… right? She’s not THAT calculating, she can’t possibly be that on top of whats she saying at every moment to have planned that to come out the way it did. Right?

I dunno. And because I really DON’T know, I’m out.

Blogger Queen of Spain has it right. She’s honestly jumped the shark. I think that was all a lot of us needed to finally push away from her table and say “no thanks”. Can you imagine if she said something like that as the democratic nominee? I would be freaking out.

But (as all our politicians like to say), let me be clear. I am pretty sad about pulling out on Hillary. I know Obama has been my front runner for a few months now but, I’m sad. There is a lot of good in her campaign. There is a lot of great change she COULD make. But right now, I simply just don’t trust her. I am questioning her intentions. And as soon as I start doing something like that, it means I really can’t back her with a full heart.

Good luck, Hillary. I know your ride isn’t over. I’m just hopping off right now. If my opinion counts for anything, I don’t think you’re our answer for President. Thanks anyway, though.

I read Queen of Spain’s post and I am so jealous. *I* want to put a bumper sticker on my car. I have zero car vanity issues, Florida needs to see democratic support, I am 100% ready to do it. But I won’t. Not quite yet.

Why not? I mean, yeah, Obama is the man – no doubt. His sticker belongs on the dusty bumper of my Saturn for sure, I’ve got a spot all picked out. And that’s something because it wasn’t always Obama. At the start, I wanted to make sure we got someone experienced in there who knew what he or she was doing. I wanted smart, not just cool. I wanted a known commodity, someone who had a real plan – who might even “be ready on day one”. And a women’s college graduate? I mean, duh, Hillary seemed a shoe in for my vote. And she even got it during that Florida primary. Remember that primary that didn’t count for jack? Yup, I still showed and flew my Hillary colors.

But I guess its a good thing it didn’t count. Because now I feel like the insane politicking and the creepy Clinton mafia thing has kind of gotten in the way. She’s always been a little calculating but now its kind of starting to freak me out.

And Obama represents so much hope for this country. He is smart. He’s got an amazing plan. He is something we have never seen before; he is honest, in touch and a true leader. He will turn it around for us. I know it.

But here’s the thing. Its not so much that I want to put his sticker on my car. I want to put THE DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE on my car. I want our party unified and moving forward. And right now it feels like our country has three parties: The Obamacans, The Hillaryats, and The McCainians. And while The Obamacans and The Hillaryats slowly circle each other in gladiator fashion with their audience frothed for a blood letting, McCain is slickly doing his thing and he is getting away with it. While we are all fixated on who is interviewing which democratic candidate this week (O’Reily? Olberman? The View?), McCain is hardly being called to the carpet on boo. Enough already. We Democrats have gotten caught up in the glamour of this and have become a little too self confident. We know we have two cool candidates and we assume its just a matter of which one of OURS will win. IS IT?

Come ON already. I am not an Obamacan. I am a democrat. And I want to proudly slap that democratic candidate’s sticker on my car and parade it around. While Obama seems to be my man, I will 100% back whoever gets the nomination. Let’s find our person, let’s all get behind him or her and focus our attention and resources on beating McCain. Not each other. Sheesh.