Entries Tagged 'Money' ↓

During my HP Giveaway contest, I received some amazing entries. And I mean AMAZING. Choosing a winner seemed near impossible and I am about to show you why. But I did choose a winner and the Moms Without Moms Organization spent last weekend opening up all their computers and finding new homes for them at the Laura Walker Project. I am thrilled those computers will make a significant difference in the lives of the women they serve.

But back to my entrants. The stories. The heartache. The charities. And even once I had worked my list down, the remaining folks were honestly all equally deserving. Even since this contest has long passed, I think about their charities and the work so many of these folks do for others. So, I thought that the only small way I can give to these folks might be to introduce some of them to my readers. You see, there is amazing work happening out there, even during these very difficult times. Selfless giving happens daily, without any fanfare or fabulous HP giveaways hyping up the amazing work they do.

Please read along and learn a little something about some incredible charities that my entrants hoped to donate the the HP giveaway to.

But can ask one favor of you though? If you are able to, or if you know someone who can, please consider contributing to one of these charities. Or post this link on your blog encouraging folks to give. Or send this link to friends. Or Stumble it. Or tweet about it. Do what you can do to expose these charities to others. I believe in the power of word of mouth, blogging and community. Maybe some more good can come for these charities after all.

Also, forgive me. Rather than writing my own blurb about each place, I have copied quotes from most of their mission statements. They do a better job explaining themselves anyway. Ok, here we go…

Legacy Cultural Learning Community

“Muscogee-Seminole and Cherokee artist, Dana Tiger, founded Legacy Cultural Learning Community to offer “art making” as part of the daily lives of Native youth.  Since 2002, Legacy has provided art opportunities ranging from outdoor youth and elder camps where traditional foods are prepared on an open fire, to the production of film by 5th through 8th grade camera and technical directors.”

Arise for Social Justice

“Arise is a low-income rights, membership organization based in Springfield, MA. We were founded by welfare mothers who believe we have the right to speak for ourselves about the issues that affect our lives. Our membership is poor people, people who are homeless and at-risk of homelessness, working people and people who have been pushed to the side by society We organize around voting rights, housing, homelessness, access to health care, family rights and criminal injustice.”

Endependence Center

“ECI provides an array of independent living services to individuals with disabilities and to the community.  The purposes of ECI are two-fold; to prepare individuals, and to prepare the community for full integration of persons with disabilities into society.”

Lighthouse International

“Lighthouse International is a leading non-profit organization dedicated to preserving vision and to providing critically needed vision and rehabilitation services to help people of all ages overcome the challenges of vision loss. Through clinical services, education, research, and advocacy, the Lighthouse enables people with low vision and blindness to enjoy safe, independent and productive lives.”

Wyoming Search and Rescue Association

The Wyoming Search and Rescue Association assists with “the employment, coordination and utilization of available resources and personnel in relieving distress, preserving life and removing survivors from the site of a disaster, emergency or hazard to safety in case of lost, stranded, entrapped or injured people.”

Vision Hope

“Presently Vision HOPE’s sole focus is on raising the necessary funds to operate Champions for Life Kids’ Camp. Foster children from the surrounding communities will participate in a variety of fun and educational activities in a non-competitive and non-threatening, loving environment. With a highly trained & devoted staff, these children will discover not only their inner strengths and abilities, but their self-worth as well.”

Peace for Kids

“Peace4Kids provides programs and services for foster and at-risk youth from ages 5-18, and after emancipation until age 24. Peace4Kids is truly on the front lines in addressing the needs of foster and at-risk youth in the South Los Angeles neighborhoods of Watts, Willowbrook and Compton.”

Schweinfurt’s SFAC (Soldier and Family Assistance Center)

“The SFAC is a one-stop location designed to provide support services regarding finances, child care, Family Advocacy, budgeting, Chaplain assistance, Legal Assistance, Military Personnel issues, logistics and transportation, installation access, benefits counseling, education and employment opportunities. The SFAC provides a warm, relaxed environment where Soldiers and their Families can gather to foster physical, spiritual and mental healing.”

Youth Power Center

Youth Power Center (YPC), located in Anacostia of Washington, DC, is a career training program that assists teenagers to empower them to reach their potential.

Zoe’s Heart

This blogger writes about her daughter’s dire need of a heart transplant. Visit her site to learn more.

Talking About Curing Autism

“Talk About Curing Autism (TACA) provides information, resources, and support to families affected by autism. For families who have just received the autism diagnosis, TACA aims to speed up the cycle time from the autism diagnosis to effective treatments. TACAhelps to strengthen the autism community by connecting families and the professionals who can help them, allowing them to share stories and information to help people with autism be the best they can be.”

Kennebec Valley Community Action Program

“KVCAP offers a range of services for men, women, and children. These include Family Planning; home ownership, repair and weatherization services, heating assistance; transportation; and a teen center. We also support families through home visitation programs for first time parents, parenting classes, childcare and Head Start. Many of these programs are available to people of all income levels.

Capitol News Connection

“Capitol News Connection is an independent and innovative multimedia news service that brings politics ‘home’ to citizens with localized and custom-crafted reporting from Congress. A bridge from the ‘Beltway’ to the ‘Heartland’, CNC connects the dots and ensures all Americans have access to locally relevant, trustworthy, engaging and unbiased information. By bringing new relevance, transparency and accountability to the political process, CNC reporting empowers citizens to shape their own destinies by being active and effective participants in our democracy.”

Sacramento Loaves and Fishes

“Without passing judgment, and in a spirit of love and hospitality, Loaves & Fishes feeds the hungry and shelters the homeless. We provide an oasis of welcome, safety, and cleanliness for homeless men, women and children seeking survival services.”

Mary Rigg Neighborhood Center

“Our mission is to provide opportunities and an environment for neighbors and families in southwest Indianapolis to improve lives, increase independence, and strengthen community through service and collaboration.”

Blogger Kate discussed their amazing adult re-entry computer education program and how it supports and assists “Baby Boomer” adults as they reinvent themselves at various points in their lives.

Ballet Tech

“Ballet Tech is dedicated to seeking out talented New York City public school students and provides a continuum of training from introductory through professional level training. Throughout the children’s instruction, dance classes, shoes and leotards are provided free of charge. During the first year of training, transportation is provided while students attend ballet classes on a school-time release program. Students who show the talent and passion required to study classical ballet are invited to attend The New York City Public School for Dance (NYCPSD) – a cooperative, tuition-free venture between the NYC Department of Education and Ballet Tech. The School offers a rigorous academic curriculum paired with intensive dance training for students in grades 4 through 12.”

Cathedral Square Cooperation

“South Burlington Community Housing offers affordable housing for people with mobility impairments aged 62 and younger…the community offers nine one-bedroom apartments [and] a non-institutional setting where residents can live independently in a group setting. All residents participate in a care-pooling plan, which allows them to pool their resources to direct the caregiver staff of the community in providing their care, which allows more freedom and independence than a traditional care giving arrangement.”

And finally, there were many entrants who were enthusiastic about donating to these very important charities: the Salvation Army, the Make A Wish Foundation and the Ronald McDonald Houses.

Thank you for reading and giving anyway that you can!

As I flipped to the “smacking my gums, adjusting my spectacles” “easy listening” station in the car earlier today, I realized it had now become the “24 hours of Christmas songs, all day every day” station. Oh. Well. Ok. So I jammed out to a little “Feliz Navidad” while I pulled into the Publix parking lot. T. was quiet (but that’s nothing new after a busy day of Kindergarten). The boys and I walked hand in hand across the parking lot, past the Salvation Army guy ringing his bell, and into the store. The monstrous, floor to the ceiling display of Santa, Mrs. Claus, presents, candy canes, and the rest went unnoticed by me while I yanked out one of those damn “car” grocery carts (you know the kind, the ones for kids that knock every box of cereal off its display within a 12 yard radius). But all of this mid November Christmas hoopla did NOT go unnoticed by my oldest boy.

“Mommy. Where are the Thanksgiving decorations?”

“Wha…?” The cart had almost knocked over a display of flowers and I was focused on maneuvering this “son of a biscuit” cart out of the way.

“Mommy, there are lots of decorations and songs for Halloween. And lots and LOTS of decorations and songs for Christmas. But what about Thanksgiving? Why don’t we decorate for that?”

“Um, heres a can of yams on display, what about that?”

“And lights on houses?! Or blown up Turkeys?! Why don’t we get those?”

He’s right. Why does Thanksgiving get the shaft every year? All halls were 100% decked everywhere we’ve been recently and Thanksgiving is still a week away. Not a Pilgrim or cornucopia to be seen.

“What kind of Thanksgiving songs are there, mama??”

Oy. I guess I can’t explain how badly big corporations want us to get excited about Christmas right now. Ranting and half crazed, they are spreading Christmas cheer all around us hoping to coax maybe a few more dollars out of our pockets. Hoping maybe we’ll fan the dying embers of our economy with one more toy for junior. Lord knows, I am certainly one to get caught up in the “gotta make Christmas perfect” fervor.

And don’t you think they HAVE decorated a little earlier this year? I wouldn’t blame them. We need some tidings of joy around here. We need some cheerful spending and a jollier economic confidence. We need to forget about this whole damn mess we’re all in.

But I guess I can’t explain that to him.

“That’s a good question, hon. Stores really don’t make as much money decorate as much as they do for Christmas, do they.”

I am wondering if Turkeys cost more money than they did, or if gifts were given, or if there was same insane hype to make that day perfect for your child - I wonder if there WOULD be decorations as far as the eye could see. Orange and yellow lights strung up, pumpkin pie songs on the radio, or even a “Santa-esque” Pilgrim rising up out of the pumpkin patch to deliver toys to every little boy and girl… oh wait, I am mixing all my holidays up royally now.

“Hey! You know what? There IS a Thanksgiving song! I’ll play it for you when I get home!”

“Yay! OK Mommy!”

And this is what we played over our ravioli tonight.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOOxcEIdTA8&feature=related]

(“My brother likes to masturbate with baby oil”. WHOOPS. Earmuffs son, tra la la la la la, fiddle dee dee… Let’s put on “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” instead…)

So, I was standing there in the toy section of Target today, with my two year old tantruming at my feet (same ol’, same ol’), and my Christmas budget numbers swimming in my head… when I hit a wall.

Not a real wall, although, that is certainly possible these days. My tantruming child and bad eyes can keep me from walking in a straight line a LOT of the time. However, the wall I hit was a mental one. I had to stop. The colorful boxes and stacks of hasbro toys piled to the ceiling just seemed to blur together…

What am I going to get my kids for Christmas?

I really have NO idea.

Ok, the BIG gift is taken care of. It’s really a huge splurge for us. But we couldn’t help it. My husband calls it the “Red Ryder bb gun of today’s generation”. What is it? Drumroll… a Wii. Yeah, none of you folks are shocked as your own fingers itch to try your own hidden Wii out too… maybe if I just tested it, maybe if I just sliiiid it out of it’s box ever so carefully… Um. I digress.

So we have the “Red Ryder” gift for the big day. And in some ways, that’s pretty good and everything else should be knick knacks off the dollar store shleves, right? Well, yeah, the two $1.00 Snoopy coloring books I wound up buying at Target (after hitting said wall) certainly count for that. But if I *DID* happen to want to pick up a few more things, and make those carefully earned and budgeted dollar bills really count… what should I get? I am really at a loss this year.

And I have been happy to give out advice about what to give other people’s pre-schoolers but that’s stuff I already know about – or have. But standing there in Target, with beautifully, exciting and fun packaged stuff all around me… well, I didn’t know what to do. What should I get?

By the way – YES – I have asked T. what he wants for Christmas. His response? An etch-a-sketch… and a Wii. Ok, so maybe I should just leave it at that. But, c’mon, a couple more things can’t hurt, right?

Now, I know there are plenty of you out there with a wealth of knowledge about cool toys. So I am asking for your help. Here are my parameters, I have the following:

• One shy five year old boy who loves Star Wars, techie stuff, board games and most sports.
• One loud, tantrumy out-going two year old who loves Mickey Mouse, pirates, cars and trucks and things that go.
• One limited budget, but still – there is money to be spent on a few key items.

And not to sound picky, but if I’m gonna spend our money on Christmas presents for my kids, I want them to be really fun, interesting, and even educational. Not just more brightly colored, plasticky STUFF that will break, get piled in a corner and left. (And then finally heaped into boxes for Salvation Army, you should SEE the pile I’ve got going in my garage right now.)

So, yeah, I’m still stuck.

What ARE those one or two brilliant, “must have” gifts? YOU TELL ME. I welcome all suggestions. Even from toy peddlers or PR people or what have you. Bring it on. Come one, come all. I am open to anything. Post links, assuming they are appropriate, I’ll make sure they won’t get spammed out. I value your opinion and will consider each suggestion.

(And posting your ideas here mean other moms will get ideas too. So please share your wealth of knowledge!)

It’s the holidays - help a mother out!

Thanks folks.

Ok, raise your hand.

How many of you have kids? Yup, so do I.

Oh, no? Ok. How many of you went to public school? Yup me too.

How many of you think every child should have equal access to books, supplies, playground equipment and technology at school? Heck, yeah.

How many of you have five dollars? Shoot, even *I’ve* got that.

…How many of you might even have a little more? Ok, stop laughing.

Here’s the deal folks. You all know how hung up on giving I have been recently. Well, I guess I have been making enough racket about it that I was approached about a wonderful cause. It is called the DonorsChoose.org 2008 Bloggers Challenge.

DonorsChoose.org is a non for profit website aimed at collecting wish lists from teachers at schools in need. The website organizes and lists their needs based on state, poverty level, subject, etc. Then folks who have a little to give come and visit the site, pick a project, and donate to it. Easy as that. Donations can even be as low as $5 and all donations are tax deductible. Very cool, huh? (More details about how it works can be found here.)

And how do bloggers get involved? Well, we get to promote the site from our blog. (And no, we don’t make a dime off of this, I promise you.) We simply get to encourage all of *YOU* readers to visit their site and donate. And I have even taken the liberty of setting up a special “Morningside Mom Givers” page. This afternoon, I went through the site and dug out four projects that seemed to resonate with me.

What was I looking for? That was tough. It seemed so arbitrary to pick projects and decide which were more worthy than others. I finally decided to look into lower income schools in Florida and I found five really interesting projects. I encourage you all to go onto the site and read about them.

One is looking to provide children instruments in a North Miami school.

One simply needs books because they have practically none.

One is looking for P.E. equipment at a school with no playground, one ball and 1/3 of their students are overweight.

One is looking for technology to bring math alive to her students.

One is looking to buy “green” books to help educate students about recycling in their communities.

All of the projects together have put a total for our Morningside Mom Givers Project at $3,000. I am asking you to give a little when you can. Has anyone joined the 29 day Giving Challenge I have been obsessed with? This would SO count. And so would spreading the word about my page. See if you can get some others to check this out and donate if possible. It’s a wonderful cause. I sincerely hope you will consider visiting our page and learning more.

And I am also planning on some sort of incentive for giving. I am not sure what it will be. Possibly a raffle for a give-away. Or maybe I will promise to do something crazy for all of you to laugh at. Last year one blogger dressed up as a tomato and danced through Rockefeller Square when they reached their goal. Oh the possibilities, huh? I’ll keep you posted. Any suggestions are always welcome.

Thanks in advance to every Morningside Mom Giver!

Note: I’d have a cool widget up if I could get it to work. Instead go click on the simple text widget on the right panel if you ever need to find our page!

Take a look at the backyard in this picture. That is what a backyard in Florida looks like if it has not been mowed since April. That is my former neighbor’s backyard. That backyard looks like a lot of yards around here these days. No one is home. No one can afford to be.

We bought our house 3 years ago, almost to the month. We bought our home when real estate was booming. At the time, we signed on to pay a mortgage for about what our house was worth. At the time. Ok, maybe we paid a couple thousand dollars extra. The owner had just put in new pergo floors after all and, as my Realtor insisted, inventory was low. We didn’t have many options out there that we could afford anyway. We did love the neighborhood, the floors were lovely, and the view was stunning. We signed on the dotted line.

And by the grace of my real estate gardian angel, we even snagged ourselves a 30 year fixed mortgage with a good interest rate. PHEW.

Sure, there were some pretty enticing ARM loan options. “Balloon” this and “loan on top of loan” that. Our mortgage could be reduced by $500 or more a month! Hey, not to worry, with how well real estate is doing, we could afford to refinance in 5 years with no problem! Think of all the equity we would have made on our home by then! You could afford something bigger, better, with a pool, a fancy gated community, oh the possibilities (I could practically see the bank folks rubbing their hands together, dollar bill signs in their eyes)!

Eh. Geez. I don’t think so. This is our first house. We really don’t want to get too complicated. Call us boring, call us conservative, I think we’ll just stick to a 30 year fixed, thanks.

And 3 years later we sit. Paying our mortgage, our expensive mortgage, right on time. Yup, a mortgage that is more than what this house is worth - probably by about $50,000. And I think I am being conservative again.

So yeah, this bail out. Sure. I do feel like this is unfair. I do feel like we were good boys and girls, we followed the rules, we were conservative, we didn’t get greedy, we bought a home within our means (kinda) and continue to pay off this house - a house worth less than what we pay.

So it certainly seems unfair that our tax dollars go to these big wig fancy banks, who were rolling in it years ago while we scraped together our home’s down payment. So so unfair. Why do I need to take care of them while I pass on a new dishwasher because I want to pay *my* expensive mortgage, so I don’t lose my home, so my backyard doesn’t look like the one in the picture above?

Here’s the insane part. Are you ready? You may not hear this often. But last night, I actually didn’t disagree with what Bush had to say. I guess his layman’s terms spelled it right out for once, simplifying it the way it needed to be. Our Prez said that if we don’t go along with this bail out, its really reeeeeally gonna hit the fan. If I don’t pay for this now, I will pay for it ten fold eventually. Gotcha W. I don’t want to pull my savings out, hide it in my mattress and guard my door with a shotgun. Ok, so I am being dramatic (I hope) but the message was loud and clear none the less. For once, I don’t think he was pulling his usual fear mongering tactics. (Although, I kind of wish he was.)

It sucks. Its not fair. It doesn’t sit well. I worry about the politicing going down. I worry about how the hell we will ever pay this back. This seems like an over-reaction. I mean, SEVEN HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS!?!?!!

(Where is Dr. Evil in all of this, pinky to the corner of his mouth. Seven hundred billion dollars? What does that even mean?? Thats like saying a million trillion billion gabillion dollars… muahahahaaa…)

But what choice do we have? None. I need to just keep on paying my mortgage, I need to remember to be grateful that I actually have a roof over my head, and I need to not be surprised that our government always has rich corporate America’s back. And yes, yes, I need to remember that if our government doesn’t have its back right now, we are SOL, in a big, scary, “depression era” kind of way.

It is what it is. As my mother always told me, life isn’t fair.

(And you know what else isn’t fair? The snakes and wildlife living in that backyard next door! Even if we were to try mowing it ourselves, I am not sure we could. Does anyone have a machete? A chain saw? A half dozen animal traps? Great googlie mooglie…)

Do you ever call a best friend or favorite aunt or your mom and just chatter endlessly? Filling almost the entire hour conversation with everything you’re doing, what you’re thinking about and what you kids did this week? Never quite taking a moment to breath and allow the other person to get a word in edgewise? 

Please tell me you do this, because I do this ALL the time.

And guess what? I consider you are all close friends of mine, so I am going yammer on here for a little bit. Inspired by my “always the link lover” friend Florinda at the 3 Rs, I want to share some links that have me thinking this week as well as just some stuff I like. I am warning you, it will be haphazard, one sided and excessively chatty. But you all don’t mind right? That’s whats friends do, at least what my wonderfully patient friends do, I guess.

First of all, Ike. Yup, the hurricane. It busted right through Texas last week, remember? I know all I saw were live garbled feeds of newscasters positioning themselves in the wind, doing their damnedest to get knocked over. (Is that like some sort of notch on a weather forecaster’s belt? To get blown over during a hurricane?)  And then I saw some pretty insane damage being reported the following day. But then little by little, I haven’t heard much else thanks to our piss-poor economy and election updates.

Well, here’s the scoop. A fabulous blogger, Julie Pippert, expereinced the hurricane for herself. Please read her plea for help here. Things there are NOT ok. And as you will read in her post, a donation to the red cross, even $5, will make an enormous difference. Please consider giving.

How much disposable stuff do you go through? How many paper towels? How many grocery bags do you stuff in your closet or throw away? How many diapers do you use? How many wipes? The Crunchy Domestic Goddess is running a Ditch the Disposables Challenge for September and October. She is asking all of us to try and cut down on some of your disposable products. My goal is to not use paper towels or paper napkins but use cloth towels and sponges. (Shoot, its partially a selfish thing, paper towels are expensive!) Also I am desperately trying to keep using those cloth grocery bags. I think I am doing pretty well with it actually! They stay on my car front seat so I have them ready to go. Also, I am using my old plastic grocery bags as my trash bags and won’t buy actual trash bags either.

Can I just make one more plea for folks? Join the 29 Day Giving Challenge! It’s really been a lot more do-able than I expected. Plus, I am having fun trying to think up a new thing to give everyday. Often I have 2 or 3 things on my list!

Um, this is kind of an obvious one (but who am I to ignore the obvious). A veeery important election is coming up. Have you registered to vote? Do me a favor and please make sure you are registered.

If you know me, you know I feel very strongly about equal rights. One of these rights is marriage – loving couples of every sexual preference deserve the right to marry. A fantastic writer and person, Lesbian Dad, is living in CA. right now with her family. Please read her blog when you can, and this post has a great video to watch. If you live in CA., vote no on Propostition 8. But you certainly don’t have to live in CA. to donate to the cause, so please consider doing that if you can’t vote. There is a long way to go to change discrimination against same sex couples. Did you know that here in Florida, a same sex couple, or single homosexual person, cannot adopt a child? It’s outrageous.

Speaking of discrimination, do you know what I have been recently stressed out about? Racism in this election. I wonder why this election is so close when Obama seems like such a strong choice. I wonder if he were white, if the spread would be larger. I wonder if this country really wants change… or can change. I know there is a post coming about this in my future but read this post here from Momocrats about individuals out rightly admitting they would never vote for a “black”. (Shudder.)

So why should you really vote for Obama? In case you still need more convincing (and assuming race has nothing to do with your decision… please, tell me it doesn’t), the amazing Queen of Spain did a fab job this week of continuing to back Obama. Read about it here. Don’t know who Queen of Spain is? If you have been watching CNN recently during both the DNC and RNC, you’ve seen her. Shoot, here she is – just a mom blogger in her own right – interviewing Obama himself.

After posting about my son C. getting his doll, I read this article here from Motherhood Uncensored about her son playing with “girl” toys. I thought it was fantastic.

Oh and hey, did you know I am writing for Type A Moms now? I am their “Liberal Moms Editor”. Perfect, huh? Here’s the funny part, I am nervous about having a grown up EDITOR title and, as a result, I am having some major writer’s block for my next (and really first ACTUAL) post. I’ll come up with something - I have ideas of course, but nothing seems good enough quite right. I just need to get into the groove of it and gather some confidence, right? Wish me luck.

Finally, I want to list some fun stuff I just plain old really like.

My 5 year old T. and I have been reading these “From the Black Lagoon” books about different people he might meet at school. They are hysterical and I really recommend them for your children if they are just starting at a new school too!

My 2 yo C. and I have just started Music Together classes. He loves them and the music is fabulous (we truly enjoy the 2 CDs you are given when you sign up, one for the car and one for home). There is great teaching about children’s development for the parents and I honestly get a workout every Friday jumping, spinning, dancing, and marching with my kid. If you’ve got the time, I wholeheartedly recommend signing up for a class with your children in your area.

Need a good gift idea for someone or for Christmas coming up? Hyper-dashis a huge hit in my house. I bought it on a whim and both kids really love it. It really gives them a work out too! Yay for tired children more likely to nap…

We recently were given a subscription to High Five Magazine. What fun for my kids to get a magazine in the mail too! They read it cover to cover, T. loves the Spanish learning section in particular.

And another adorable book that I can’t get enough of? The Peace Book. LOVE IT.

Maybe you haven’t heard of the website Starfall? It is honestly the best letter and phonics learning website out there. And that’s not just my opinion. My teacher friends, my pediatrician and my speech pathologist aunt all heartily agree. T. likes to put it on with C., teaching him the ABC’s while playing fun songs and games. Its really terrific, they are on it right now.

Oh and I saw a pretty funny movie last night that I hadn’t even heard of. The Promotion. Great actors you (and esp. your husband) love to watch: Sean William Scott (aka Stiffler) and John C. Riley. And the story is just about regular guys trying to get ahead and take care of their families. I really enjoyed it!

And…. I’m spent.

And how was your week?

As you all know, my friend’s story of charity was very inspiring for me. I was truly moved. And then, after reading my post, my blogger friend Mary from Everyday Baby Steps shared the link for the 29 Day Giving Challenge in her comment. I took a look. Wow. If I was ever inspired to get on board with a cause such as this one, it would be now.

Here’s the deal. For 29 days, I need to give something to someone every day. It does not need to be something of great value. It can be support, a hug, a favor, moving someones garbage cans off the road, spending more time with your children than you normally would, and on it goes. What is important here is the spirit of the gift and how it changes your own outlook on life.

Is this challenge starting to peak your interest? Then, go to the website, watch the video and really absorb what this is all about.

And I have to be honest, I was a little intimidated by this challenge. First of all, we aren’t exactly rolling in it these days. I am holding on to every tiny bit I have to get by. So what do I have to give? What could little ol’ me possibly give? Money is easy, but I don’t really have money to give. So I need to be creative. I need to *think* about what I can do to bring a little positivity into someones life – every day. FOR 29 DAYS. Egad.

All day yesterday, I hemmed and hawed about whether I could really do this. Am I selfless enough to be that thoughtful? Everyday? Am I even that nice?

Aw, c’mon Caroline. Buck up, you can do a little something more everyday for someone.

And you know what else I really like about this whole challenge? Its all about fostering good karma. Yeah, bring on good karma, I love that stuff. 

So, ok then. I’m in.

Now first of all, I want to be sure I do something I wasn’t planning on doing anyway. For instance, I can’t say giving my children dinner would count. As awesome as I think I am for toiling over that stove (er, microwave) - for me, that act of “charity” doesn’t really count (not that my kids would agree carrot sticks are exactly charity anyway).

Hmmm. So what am I going to give today? Yikes, I don’t know. We’ll see how the day unfolds. But you can be sure I will let you know. I am going to keep track of what I do everyday and then check in here once a week and give you a quick summary of how I am doing.

So. How about it? Yup, now I am looking at you. Are you in? Are you up for the 29 day challenge? If you are in, let me know! I need a “Giving Posse” of sorts. So come along for the ride and join the cause. And be sure to share your ideas! I still need to come up with something for today, for cripes sakes…

Happy Giving!

After a week of democratic fervor, froth and frenzy; a week of endless pundit chatter, extraordinary speeches and historic nominations; and a week of way WAY too many cogs in my head spinning, churning and smoking away, I am left slightly short of breath. And as excited and energized as I feel after the DNC - honestly - I am left stressed out. For real. I am sitting here muttering and wringing my hands like a crazy woman.

What’s my problem?

Oh, Lordy. Well, I have just so much invested in this election. I have never wanted a candidate elected more in my entire life. There is so very much at stake and it’s freaking me out to care this much. And I know I am not the only one.

So what is my list of worries? Read along and see if yours are anything like mine. Here we go.

I am worried about the future of our supreme court justices.

I am worried about the future of this war and the lives of our military serving.

I am worried about my rights to choose.

I am worried about assuring equal rights for everyone.

I am worried discrimination of any kind has been acceptable for far too long.

I am worried about equal pay for equal work.

I am worried about our addiction to excess and stuff.

I am worried about how much less my house is worth.

I am worried about my outrageously expensive grocery bill.

I am worried about chocolate and tequila production prices going up yet again. (Didn’t you hear? Hershey’s chocolate costs were going up 11%! Damn this economy!)

I am worried that the average American family can’t afford to have one parent home with their children any longer.

I am worried Hillary supporters are going to dig in further and refuse to vote.

I am worried voters will choose their candidate based on race or gender ALONE.

I am worried Americans don’t look at themselves carefully enough.

I am worried we think more about ourselves and our own needs, than the needs of our society as a whole.

I am worried we are lazy and we won’t change old habits, focus on our environment, and break our addiction to oil.

I am worried Bush has permanently damaged our country.

I am worried this country has been dumbed down and can’t think outside the box.

I am worried we succumb too easily to fear mongering.

I am worried we have been at war for over 5 years and we are no safer from terrorism.

I am worried that Republicans and Democrats alike underestimate and make unfair assumptions about one another.

I am worried we really aren’t ready for change.

I am worried that no news is unbiased news and so I never know what  the real news is.

I am worried my sons might be drafted into war someday.

I am worried the rest of the world hates our country more than it did before September 11th.

I am worried about my horrid health care plan: if one of us were to become seriously ill, we would be in extraordinary debt.

I am worried about affording college in 15 years.

I am worried about trying to get some paid work within the next year.

I am worried about tax cuts and how they have already affected our local school system, public universities, our local infrastructure, my local library and other public systems set up to assist us.

I am worried that the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer.

I am worried about hate.

But I can’t forget Obama’s speech last night. I do believe their is some hope ahead *if* he is elected. And I’ve said this before, I know that even if he IS elected, he has one hell of a mess to untangle. But, there is hope. I will leave you with this last potion of his speech. (Please read his entire speech here.) I hope you find some hope in it as well.

America, we cannot turn back.  Not with so much work to be done.  Not with so many children to educate, and so many veterans to care for.  Not with an economy to fix and cities to rebuild and farms to save.  Not with so many families to protect and so many lives to mend.  America, we cannot turn back.  We cannot walk alone.  At this moment, in this election, we must pledge once more to march into the future.  Let us keep that promise – that American promise – and in the words of Scripture hold firmly, without wavering, to the hope that we confess.

Have a wonderful weekend, I am going to do my damnedest not too think so flipping hard and maybe even have a good stiff drink. (Probably not tequila, though… damn…)

(Oh and please note. Comments that might disagree with my politics or points of view are absolutely welcome. It’s cool. I love open, respectful discussion. It makes the world go round. However, if your comment is rude, it’s getting deleted. Enough said.)

It all started out with the best of intentions. When T. turned five last week, his grandmother sent him a crisp $20.00 bill to spend on whatever he would like. What a sweet and smart gesture! A true acknowledgement that he was a big boy – five! – and old enough to have his own money. T. and I agreed that he could take his money to Toys R Us where he could buy a special toy all by himself. So, today, holding onto some left over birthday cheer, we headed over to the recently opened Toys R Us up the road. When we got out of the car, he was absolutely fired up. He jumped up and down beside me, his $20.00 held tight in his hand. And I was excited too, I thought that he might get a good lesson about money and how to spend it. This would be fun!

Walking into Toys R Us still holds the same magic for me as it did when I was a kid. Like something out of a dream, bright primary colored toy boxes were laid out before us, as far as the eye could see, from floor to ceiling. My heart still skips a beat when I pass that wonderful candy pink aisle packed with every kind of cool Barbie stuff. I remember standing in that aisle with my own birthday money, carefully weighing my options, giddy, silly and wanting.

I asked T. where he would like to look first. He said “Star Wars stuff” so we headed there. He went straight up to the $49.00 Darth Vadar/Death Star transformer. “What about this?” “Sorry hon, too expensive.” And then pointed out what things were ok. He touched all the boxes, considering everything but he seemed a bit overwhelmed. So I said that maybe we should walk around a bit and see what else there was.

When we stopped at the Thomas the tank aisle, without any hesitation, he picked up a starter train set for $19.99 and said “I want this!” Perfect! Ok! Let’s go check out.

…”But what about the Star Wars things??”

“Um, no, hon, this train set costs $20.00. You’ve spent all of your money.”

And that’s when it happened. I could practically hear the audible snap. Greed swooped in and clutched my son’s usually rational brain – a beast took over.

“NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I WANT THE STAR WARS THINGS!!! I WANT THE TRAIN THINGS!!!! I WANT EEEVVVVEEERRREEEETHIIIIIING!!!!!”

He promptly burst into tears and slumped down on the platform displaying all the bikes. While C. ran up and down the bike aisle, with a bike helmet on, T. sobbed. I explained that he couldn’t have everything. $20.00 will only buy him somethings or one thing. Not everything. He was crushed. He was overwhelmed. The decision was impossible.

We finally went with the train set. As we went to check out, we steered clear of the Star Wars aisle for fear he would be set off once again. But what really made me sad was that he wasn’t giddy and excited about his purchase. He seemed resigned. Instead of getting a fun new toy, he looked like he had actually lost something. His eyes were still wet, his face was sad and walked behind me slowly. This was not the fun adventure I thought it would be. The only lesson he learned was there is so much he couldn’t have. Granted, that is a very important lesson for any child, but again, it wasn’t exactly how I thought the experience would go down when we walked in there a half hour prior.

As I have mentioned before, I try to limit too much stuff in our lives. Call it being cheap, being green, or saving space, but we honestly don’t have half the toys his friends do. And even the toys T. has, he only plays with them now and then. T. has never been a stuff guy. Presents are fun to open but he’ll leave something in its box for days and only vaguely find interest when I get his attention and ask him if he wants to open it with me. He is usually happier with a book, playing a board game, playing outside with a ball or in the sprinkler. Of course, he loves T.V. but not too much. He has always seemed “just right” with his need for any sort of excess. He has never hoarded, he has always shared well, and – shockingly – he has never begged or pleaded or demanded a toy (ice cream, yes, a toy no). Until today.

So excuse me as I unleash the mommy guilts within. But, today, I feel like I ruined a little bit of him. I let money become something exciting. I let the stuff become a fun thing to get and find and need. My heart went a little cold when he said “I want everything.” I know this is a human reaction. We all want a shopping spree. We all get excited over stuff. We all get bummed out when we can’t afford something we want desperately. Its normal, he needs to understand how buying things works and understand the value and limits of money. And, I assure you, there will be more birthday money in his future, we will set out for Toys R Us once again, and we will keep working on this lesson until it is good and learned. But, I guess, just to see his first moment where he is actually heartbroken over not getting some sort of stuff… It just didn’t feel so good.

And here’s the kicker. After lunch we pulled out the train, got it all set up (making a figure eight with train tracks is no easy feat, I mean it) and now its sitting there untouched on our family room floor. A few minutes ago, I asked him ”What about your train, T.? Why don’t you play with that for a little bit?” “Its making me boring, mommy” Oh o.k. Terrific.

Stuff. We want it. We stress over it. We use money we don’t even have to buy it. We finally get it, hold it up like a trophy fish scooped out of mall’s ocean. When, most of the time, we really don’t even need it.

Its no shocker and hardly news to report that having children changes you. The topic of life after children could be tackled from a thousand different angles – the changes we experience emotionally, or physically, the extreme limits we are pushed to and the kind of immeasureable joy they bring us. That stuff alters us – permanently. But I need to talk about another type of change I am expereincing since becoming a mother and it has left me at quite a loss. Staying home with my children over the past five years has morphed me from a fairly confident capable working woman into a quivering girly-mom completely clueless as to how I would ever make it in the big, bad, working world again. Yeah, not good at all. This is a 35 year old identity crisis of epic proportions.

I’ve mentioned it before. I am a proud graduate of a very cool women’s institution called Mount Holyoke College. It is undeniably unique – it loads up college aged women with confidence, strength, smarts, and ability and then pushes them out into the world scrappy, ready and willing to take anything on. That was me in 1997. For the following 8 years, I worked in undergraduate college admissions.  And I was pretty good at what I did. I think.

But then I had T. I pushed my suits to the back of my closet and adopted breast feeding t-shirts and draw string pants. I think my backbone got tucked at the back of that closet too.

So my job title became: Mother. My office was my home. No co-workers chatting about their weekends (Weekend? Monday, Saturday, whatever… it’s really just groundhog day again). No boss telling me they are lucky to have me. A three month old baby awake all night was hardly a positive indicator that I was succeeding at my job. Now 5 years later, my boys and I are in a routine, I am the captain of this ship and I think I have it under control.

By the way, please note: this is not a bitch-fest post about being a stay at home mother either. I love being with my kids. I feel like I pulled some sort of golden ticket that has baaaarely allowed us to finagle a way so that I can stay home with my boys. Thousands of women would give anything to do the same. This is not about that. This about LEAVING that.

So back to my point. As T. starts kindergarten in the fall, the economy goes further into the crapper, and the shoe-string budget that we depend on has unraveled to more of a thread, I can’t help but start to plan on going back to work at some point soon.

Ugh though. I mean, do I HONESTLY think I have a clue as to how to function in the work force again? I feel completely out of touch with that sort of environment. Sure, I am the master at putting my child in the “cobra clutch” while changing a poopie diaper. I can smoothly talk through a time out and have the boys back to playing nicely in 5 minutes flat. I know what gets crayons off the walls (magic eraser), pencil off my frig (magic eraser) and marker off my table (magic eraser). I think I am doing ok as a mom.

But a job? That I commute to? With ONLY grown ups and in grown up clothes? Smart people who expect you to think fast and use a big girl, I mean, ADULT vocabulary? They would expect me to be witty, up to date and relevant when I might still have a sippy cup of rotting milk in my purse? They would expect me NOT to have brains for mush… I mean, mush for brains? For real, my friends, I am in big poopies. (Oh, that’s right. Grown-up words…) I mean I am in big bowel movements.

It has been a looooong time since I have felt like a confident, smart, able contributor to a working environment. 5 years! And hardly a whipper snapper any longer, I am on the verge of 35! My resume is sound asleep at the back of my computer in some dusty old file last used in 2004. I don’t know what I am doing. Ooooh and just you watch. I know office politics would take fast advantage of naive little me, they would chew me up and spit me out only to be cackled about over the water cooler. “Did you see that Caroline woman? What is SHE about? She doesn’t even own a blackberry! Yeah, she used a pen and paper to take notes at the meeting. Ew. And if she thinks she’s better than me because she’s ten years older than me, she can go back to mommy-land. Did you see what she was wearing? I SWEAR there were shoulder pads in that dress. Is that a purse or a diaper bag, by the way”. I am in way waaaaay big trouble.

And you know what’s even worse than not knowing how to work in the real world? I don’t even know WHAT it is that I want to do in the real world. A position in undergraduate college admissions is usually three jobs rolled into one: traveling saleswoman, around the clock resume reader and events planner. This sort of job doesn’t fly for any mom needing to work regular-ish hours so that she can pick up her kids from school or daycare. Plus they like fresh faced, smart looking, recent college grad types to represent an undergraduate college. Go get me my Geritol, I don’t fit that category any longer.

And what, pray tell me, is parent-friendly out there these days and actually pays well. WHAT? Because if I start over with a new career, does that mean I begin at the bottom? Will my starting salary match what I made in 1997 (which, at 23 years old, seemed like a million dollars at the time – snort - when gas was 99c a gallon). And during my first week of shuffling papers in my office cubicle, will some condescendingly brilliant corporate type tell me I have to work late because he is meeting his buddies to celebrate a friend’s 21st birthday? I’ll take a Diaper Genie full of poopie diapers ANY day over that sort of back to work crap. 

But, really, what has motherhood reduced me to? Where is that cool, confident Mount Holyoke grad? She seems far far gone. Parenting has morphed me into something quite different. My confidence seems at an all time low. I adore being a mother but - I admit it  – I am afraid of the working world. On top of my daily mommy tasks, how could I possibly handle deadlines and pressure and asking myself “is it good for the company”? You might as well move me to Bali because the working world seems just about as foreign a concept to me.

Actually, do you know what it is? Do you know what I am really truly afraid of?

How will I even care?

How will I not pine away my work day, counting down the hours, wishing I was with my kids again? How will I bring the same sort of work ethic I prided myself in – before I was a mother - to my current job when I know this silly work stuff means nothing – NOTHING – compared to playing Candyland with my child and watching him grow right before my eyes. Deadlines can bite it, get me home to my children.

So thats it. I just don’t think I will care. I just don’t think I can live with doing anything half-assed. I don’t want to try to look the part for some corporate gig when I am really a MOTHER, proudly toting her big, practical diaper bag, just doing what she loves best.

But there may not be a choice here. I need to buck up and figure out how to be both. Women do this alllll the time. They jump back in there, apply the multi-tasking skills they have since adopted as moms, get it done and get back home. Working moms probably DON’T care about “whats good for the company” as much as they care about whats good for their kids. As they should. Balance happens – somehow. Maybe not perfectly. Maybe not easily. But it does because it has to.

So where does this leave me? My always sought after “bottom-line” is needed right about now. Well. I think this simply boils down to a petulant identity crisis. I think I should hush up and give myself more credit. I think I will be good at whatever I do and still have the skillz to dodge office politics like a trained Olympiad. I think when it is time to start back to work, it’s simply a matter of jumping in and doing it. Wish me luck. Tell me I’m right and that I can do it. Tell me how you did it. Tell me you know the lyrics to “Let the River Run” from the movie Working Girl because that song is absolutely stuck in my head right now. ….”Come! The new Jerusalem!!!”