Entries Tagged 'Unnecessary stuff' ↓

So I bought some Diet Coke yesterday. I’m not a huge Coke drinker really but I’ve recently been having the urge to “rest my eyes” at traffic lights on the way to picking up my kid from school. Not good. So I’m thinking an afternoon pick me up once in awhile might just be a good idea.

(Sidebar: I get really… er… hot flash-ish, heart racy and all freakified if I drink too much caffeine. Unfortunately coffee is just a bad idea. Think “Tweek” from South Park. So one Diet Coke has got me covered for a loooong while. Just to clarify.)

But I have this strange aversion to buying drinks that have no purpose. Who needs to get all hooked on the extra sugar and caffeine and aspartame and preservatives and crap for all that extra money. (“Extra money” being the key phrase here. Really? I’m usually just too cheap to shell out for the fun stuff.)

So we mostly drink milk and water around these parts. (Oh and wine. And beer. Both of which have a purpose, but I digress.)

But now and again, I buy some Diet Coke as a treat. (Way to live the life, right?) Oh and it’s purpose? To keep my engines revved so I actually move my car forward when the light turns green rather than take a little afternoon snooze right there in the middle of an intersection.

(… You know what? I should probably just get unsweetened ice tea. I’m betting its cheaper and better for me. Again I digress.)

So I wheely wheeled my kid crammed grocery cart over to the drink section the other day and saw row upon row of Cokes on sale. Which one was the one I wanted? Ummm, the caffeine one with cancer causing sugar substitutes. Yeah that one.

Wait. What’s this? A Diet Coke with pretty blue swirlies on it? What does it mean?

“Diet Coke Plus” it read. “Diet Coke with Vitamins and Minerals.”

Wha…? You mean the Coke peeps are trying to make me think that drinking Coke is good for me? They think that dropping some vitamin B6, B12, some niacin, and zinc in with my phenylalanine and aspartame is really helping a mother out? Or are they thinking that maybe I’ll buy it now because it has a little added value since I can’t get my act together to take a daily vitamin?

Well, it worked. I bought it over the simple red and silver can. Oooh blue swirlies that look all healthy-ish. It can’t hurt, right?

I don’t know. There is something amiss in all of this. I can’t help but feel a little duped. I’ve seen it more and more often these days while I wheely-wheel around my Publix. Crappy products with no real dietary value are suddenly showing up with extra vitamins and minerals. And 5 grams of fiber. And added protein and calcium.

Along side their usual 30 grams of sugar and high fructose corn syrup and trans fat and aspartame and glunk, gook and more bad for you stuff.

It rings a bit sinister I’m afraid.

I mean, SURE, I’d like 5 grams of fiber in my serving of cookies. If I was planning on buying that crap anyway, I may as well have some added something to it. You know, to take away the guilt of buying those dreaded (…nom, nom, nom…MORE…) cookies in the first place.

But if folks think that they can somehow live a MORE healthy lifestyle with these added nutrients dropped in and amongst the regular crap… well… yikes.

There has been a lot more recent priority placed on healthy lifestyles in this country. Which is great. And I am hoping folks are going to make better choices about what they eat and how much they eat. But I just wish these companies would do more to put an overall more healthy product out that we want to buy – rather than keep the same old same old, except for dropping in a vitamin or two, swishing it around and calling it a day.

I know, I know. I still bought the Diet Coke. I still fell for the whole “oooh vitamins in a healthier looking can” thing. (Sidebar: There is a reason for this. And it all traces back to my myers-briggs results which happen to show that I am in the group of people who tend to fall for product placement and advertising more than any other group so its NOT my fault.) I mean, I am not the perfect eater. And my kids need to eat more (ANY) veggies. And we eat fast food sometimes and boxed mac and cheese is part of the rotation and I’ll have a Diet Coke every so often. Sue me.

It’s just. Dude. I know my Diet Coke Plus won’t make me a healthier person. But does everyone else know that? And will we as a collective group just settle for these “healthier” changes? Or will we push food companies further and start expecting them to take out the bad while putting in the good? And maybe expect them to make a more healthy product for real.

And will WE take more responsibility (rather than rely on a Diet Coke for our vatamin B12) and buy more fresh foods and substitute water for sugar drinks and eat green leafy things and cut back on scary stuff that eats our brains? Or will we buy that box of Cheeze-its because it’s got more fiber now and call that dinner?

I’m just saying.

…I can’t believe I wrote a post about a can of Coke.

…which is sitting in front of me.

…and so I’m totally blaming the caffeine swimming in and amongst my “plus” vitamins for this post’s total random factor and multiple sidebars. For real.

(Disclaimer: I had two VERY large Diet Cokes the other day while waiting for my crappy Hard Rock lunch before the TMBG concert. Which now, in retrospect, might explain my tweeked out fan freak out post. Because, yes, I can keep a caffeine tweek for a full 24 hour period. You’re so jealous, right?)

(Another disclaimer: No the Coke people did not ask me to review Diet Coke Plus nor did I get anything free for writing about it. Other than an annoying, pounding sensation…)

….I think I have a headache.

*Setting down the Diet Coke Plus and walking away.*

Yesterday, in a three year old “I don’t want to nap even though I am besides myself with exhaustion” apocalyptic melt-down, my darling one decided to smash the baby monitor. I’m not sure how he did it but as I sat waiting through a stream of howling, yelling and screaming – the sounds abruptly turned to just…. static. Assuming he had pulled the monitor out of the wall, I stormed in only to find him still gloriously enraged and a part of the monitor’s plug cracked, as if hacked off the wall. My request that he nap was clearly an outrageous one – and the monitor had to pay the price for his suffering.

My monitor, my trusty spying side-kick, was dead.

As you well know, my sons are hardly wee babes any longer. They are solid, school going, “big boys” now at the substantial ages of three and six. Do I really need a monitor any longer?

Probably not.

Certainly there are schools of thought that believe this whole monitor business is simply one more hugely unnecessary burden today’s parent places on themselves. Our parents and our parents parents didn’t have monitors. And they successfully heard their children cry out, carry on and tantrum at naptime. In fact, some say that NOT hearing every whimper your child makes is a good thing. You’ll hear them if you need to. They can figure it out.

And I will give the nay-sayers that. The monitor requires parents to sleep with one ear trained on the breathing patterns of our children. We stir when they stir. We wake when they wake. We worry over any snarf, coo or fart.

But you see, I don’t mind.

I kind of like it that way.

Because, my friends, the sounds of my children sleeping are like an addiction of sorts. And my monitor is my dealer. While I settle in for the night, my monitor brings me my fix: my boys slumbering sighs satisfy every sense, they green-light my mind to wander, they promise me total reassurance. All is well. Sleep can happen.

I know, I know. My house isn’t even that big. If their door is open and my door is open, I can hear them if they call out. And they are three and six, for the love of God. If they REALLY needed me, they could climb out of bed and, in three seconds flat, leap wildly – with their well trained pajamaed feet – right into our bed.

Truly, our trusty little baby monitor is now – if hasn’t been all along – entirely obsolete. It’s silly. It’s unnecessary.

But it’s my addiction.

Because as I laid down to sleep last night, I heard… nothing. Silence. I felt partially deaf. Muffled. It was as if my children were no longer there. After 6 years of ambient breaths and quiet background static, there was just… nothing.

“What if someone broke into that front window, someone could get them – we wouldn’t hear anything!”

My husband looked as if he agreed. He is as much an addict as I am.

But we both know that we would hear someone if they broke in, surely. Even if my husband slept as deeply as he usually does, I would wake up. I stir when the cat walks across the floor or the rain hits the window or the toilet starts (sonofa… who didn’t jiggle handle!?) running.

We don’t need a monitor.

We don’t.

But. Um. I reeeeeally still want to go get one.

I mean, I kind of thought that having a monitor around the house would just come in handy. My husband can use it as a one way speaker when he’s in there. And imagine its many uses if we quietly stuffed it under their beds when they’ve reached double digits and are no longer telling me a thing. IMAGINE what we would be privy to!

Ok, maybe that’s not a great idea.

But I had truly convinced myself that monitors are 100% practical parenting tools which every household must have, no matter the child’s age.

Fine. I am simply admitting out loud what I have felt ever since I brought my oldest son home from the hospital six years ago. The twelve steps between our bedroom door and their bedroom door seems an enormous distance in the haze of sleep, in the semi-conscious “are my babies ok?” state where every parent hovers most of the night. If I am unsure of their safety and comfort, well, I can’t help but let my mind wander and worry. And in the wee hours, its hard to agree to much sanity regarding your children unless you actually hear their sweet, shallow breaths coming from that red light on the dresser.

But FINE. Yes. I know. It’s time. I need to try. I must break myself of this addiction. It’s time for this household to say goodbye to our baby (*sniff, sniff *) monitor.

Besides. I know my ears will always do their radar thing. Monitor or not, my senses are trained on their sounds where ever they are in the house. I can still hear them. I just need to convince myself, while I roll over in the deep dark of night, that the peaceful quiet of the house means there is also peace twelve steps away. All will be well.

Unless I wander into the baby section at Target tomorrow and give in to my cravings for children’s breath and soft static. Unless…

It started out innocently enough. All eight boxes of our Christmas paraphernalia had been pulled down from the attic and stacked up in our main room – we were ready to deck some halls.  But as I started pulling each stocking, star, Santa hat and trinket out, I looked around and saw clutter. So much clutter, clutter everywhere and clutter that we would only be adding more clutter to.

Particularly toy clutter. Toy clutter that had not been properly played with in months – maybe years.

That just would not do.

So I pulled out some plastic bags and a couple empty boxes, again innocently enough. It was time to collect all the unplayed with stuff and haul it away. It was taking up precious real estate in our cozy home in dire need of Christmas decor.

I never expected all of that toy clutter would actually retaliate.

I never expected that once I pulled a few things out and started sorting, it would pour out and surround me.

Soon there were little people lined up in formation on the floor, matchbox cars of every make surrounding me and plastic dinosaurs precariously placed on their sides – ready to mangle any bare foot. And electronic devices of all sorts, going off, squealing hideous obscenities, as their batteries died within.

The kids stayed back. Maybe the reason they hadn’t been playing with these toys was now more apparent. Maybe they were afraid. These things weren’t toys. They were parent seeking, clutter making, plastic, broken, noisy, insidious attack militia with my sanity as their target.

It seemed the more I pulled out to sort, the more cluttered the house got, the less I knew what to do with it all and then… I got stuck. Every toy box empty. All of it out. And sorted. But I had no idea what to do next. Trash? Give away? Keep? And where?

And where had it all come from in the first place??

I swear I never buy my kids toys. Their birthdays and Christmas – yes. But I’m not a “stuff” person. And they don’t beg for it either. So I thought we had it under control.

I was wrong.

Happy meal toys, headless Star Wars action figures, dried up markers, broken train track, puzzle pieces, fake food with real tooth marks. And then bits of colorful plastic that I didn’t recognize at all, broken off from something or another. Those drove me most insane. Do I keep this? Is this something they need for something they have but don’t play with because this piece is missing? Or is it a smashed up something or other that we tossed long ago and this one piece remains. What is it???

So, in retaliation, I started bagging. I wouldn’t look those stuffed animals in the eye, I couldn’t remember how much my eldest son adored that ragged old teether, I disregarded all sentiment and just got bagging. It was my only defense, I tell you. What else was a mother to do?

And I think the books were the hardest. Books we read a thousand times over, that my children found so much joy with, that taught them their first words or signs or colors. Words are my downfall. I’m a sucker for them. I loved those stories. But I couldn’t let them drag me down. If they weren’t reading them now, if they weren’t NEEDED any longer, they got thrown in a box. I knew what had to be done.

Panting, an entire weekend after the job was begun, I stood triumphant over two enormous trash bags of toys, two boxes of children’s books – all for give-away – and one huge bag of trash. What toys that remained had a home: the little people were caged in plastic boxes, match box cars parked away, and anything that threatened the tender under sole of an adult foot was snapped shut in tupperware.

Success. Victory! The toy boxes were under my control once again. And as I loaded the back of my car up with my prisoners of war, the kids gingerly stepped forward to peer into them again. There’s my favorite phone! You found my Cars car! My Star Wars book!

And so I revel in the room left behind. My Christmas clutter decorations have found spots in and amongst it all. There is peace in the land.

Until Christmas morning. Until everything is unwrapped and the toys begin to regroup, reorganize and rebuild their assault. It will happen again. But until then. I win.

Ok, I’ve had it. Call me uptight. Call me a helicopter mom. Call me an old fart for bringing down everyone’s good time this Halloween. But I don’t care. I’ve had it.

I can’t bring my six year old son into Target, Walgreens or a variety of other stores because he is terrified, utterly frozen with fear, by what he sees in the Halloween section. And my 3 year old, who is strangely curious about all the “scary mans” he sees is now convinced those same “scary mans” are under his bed every night. He cries out at about 3am, I go and calm him, “No scary mans” I promise – and curse my local Walgreens the entire way back to my bed.

They’re just kids, you say. They’re scared of everything. They just need to toughen up that’s all. This is just part of what happens on Halloween. Normal kids get used to this stuff. So relax.

Really. My Target alone has larger-than-life sized decomposing skeleton men towering over its customers, menacing witches that scream and cackle and an entire variety of ghoulish ghosts, sounds and things that jump out at you as you walk by. This is a picture (see at right) of one Halloween prop that I took this morning – quickly – while my son hid in the Christmas section a couple aisles over. It’s not a great picture because I wasn’t going to hang around long enough to perfect it. I wanted him as far from there as possible.

Because as much as he wanted to move far far away from all of it, maybe I don’t want my kid to be “normal” either. Maybe I don’t want him to eventually “get used” to gore like this any more than he does.

And as I mentioned, Target is certainly not the only culprit. These decorations are everywhere. I’ve seen automated butlers who remove their faces to reveal skeletal gore with bulging eyeballs. I’ve seen bloody appendages crawling across the floor. Oh and don’t even get me started on places like Party City. It’s every nightmare come to life in there. Check out some of what they sell.

It’s not just the Halloween props either. Its the costumes too. My kids would FREAK the frock OUT if they saw someone dressed like this walking down the road this October 31st.

What the hell am I supposed to tell them? Monsters aren’t real? Right.

Did you know my six year old refused to shop for a costume this year? He wanted to be Frankenstein but was too scared to even look in the costume section. While cowering in the cart with his face buried in my groceries, I picked up one mask that seemed to work. “Ok, OK! That’s it. Lets go Mama, LET’S GO!!!” And then there were tears, tears, tears. We’ll piece the rest together at home. This is ridiculous.

Here’s the thing. I get the joy of gory fear. I do. I think I owned every “Nightmare on Elm Street” there was growing up. I loved those movies and watching them with the lights off with my friends screaming and laughing and peering out from behind our pillows. I get that people have fun getting scared. And folks who want that kind of fun this Halloween should have it.

But these costumes and Halloween props on sale to terrify are set up out in the open, an aisle away from light bulbs, electronics and athletic gear. These costumes and Halloween props that I wheel my cart past daily without warning, if placed in a movie, have enough gore factor to rate that movie “R”.

They are simply NOT suitable to be seen by small children.

Teens, adults, sure. Knock yourselves out and scare each other silly. Good times.

But little kids, who still aren’t 100% sure what real and pretend is all about. Little kids who could never conceive what horror was, until now. Little kids who actually think monsters are real, no matter what parents tell them. Yeah, those little kids should not see this stuff.

Ok, look. You big corporations probably make a lot of money selling all of this junk. Some whiny mom’s post isn’t going to change your outlook on all those dollar bills rolling in. But how about this. Can we compromise? Can’t we at least put all the scary, gory, decomposing, bloody, skeletal stuff in one separate aisle? And then can we put all the cute pumpkins, whimsical ghosts and fun little kid costumes in another? Can’t we at least do that? Because from where I sit, I sure would be shopping at your store more often if I could actually convince my kid he didn’t have to see any of it if he didn’t want to. If you all care, Target and Walgreens are seeing a lot less of my business this October strictly because I can’t drag my kids in there. Not cool.

Alrighty then. I’ve had my say. And my kids are excited for Halloween. We’re watching a lot of “Its the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown”, we’re planning a fun driveway party for the night of the 31st and we can’t wait for pumpkin carving time. We’re making this holiday fun, despite all of the unnecessary fear that now seems to go along with it.

And we only have 16 days until it’s Christmas decoration time. Rock on.

While getting caught up in the fun of the holidays, it is very easy to throw your usual rules aside and go all out - hoping to ensure the perfect holiday gathering for your family. We go on endless shopping sprees, the budget is long forgotten and so are some of our better “green” habits – all in the name of holiday cheer. The holidays don’t have a reputation of excess for nothing. However, here are some ways to try and keep your cool and stay green without having to forget the fun of the season too.

Decorating

Some of us will be buying Christmas trees this year to decorate. If you do decorate a tree, consider buying a potted tree and planting it after the season has passed. If that isn’t possible, be sure to contact your local Waste Management Program to find out how to recycle your Christmas tree. Also check Earth 911 for local Christmas tree recycling options.

When it’s time to string up the lights in my home, my inner Clark Griswold comes shining through. However, this year, if you happen to need new lights anyway, consider buying LED holiday lights to save energy. Or if you don’t have to buy new lights, be sure to keep your current lights on a timer so they are off during the day and when you go to sleep.

If you are looking for new ornaments this year, All Free Crafts suggests making ornaments out of recycled Christmas cards. I love to make salt dough ornaments with my children and those treasures will stay on my tree for years to come. Don’t forget about the extra things around the house that might spruce up your tree too like left over ribbon, restrung beads and buttons and even stringing good old fashioned popcorn garland for your tree.

Holiday Cards

It has never been easier to send e-cards or virtual greetings. I use Hallmark Smilebox to send festive slideshows, greetings and even movie clips. If you still prefer sending mailed cards, consider buying cards made on recycled paper this year. Some options are Cards Direct, Cards for Causes and Green Field Paper.

Cooking

Part of the holidays always includes cooking traditional meals for friends and relatives. Plan ahead and try to be a green chef this year. For example, try to buy organic foods when possible, think about some vegetarian meals and buy free range poultry and eggs. Another fun tip is to track down a local farm and buy your fruits and vegetables locally – they taste better and are usually more affordable.

Green Gifts

Gift giving is on everyone’s minds right now. Think carefully about what you are giving and why your are giving it. Grabbing as much “stuff” as possible just to wrap and stick under the tree isn’t a smart idea. Rather, buy one or two quality items, than a bunch of less well made, more likely to break items. Also, think about buying things that are personal, make some gifts and put your heart into the giving process. A hand knit scarf is always more valued than another boring tie.

Another inexpensive way to buy green gifts is to hop onto Craig’s list or shop in consignment stores. Recycling and saving a dollar never came so easy.

Finally, here are some links to articles or websites with green gift ideas: EDF.org, NRDC.org, Ecomall.com, and Treehugger.com. One of my favorites? Consider buying your loved one some poopoopaper. A fun gift and it’s certainly, er, been recycled.

Gift Wrapping

When I was a child, it was inevitable that as we opened our gifts a relative would shout out “I forgot one!” And they would run off and return with a gift wrapped in a towel or pillow case. We used to laugh about it then but now it really isn’t such a bad idea after all! If possible, try to make your own wrapping paper this year by using beautifully decorated paper bags, magazines, old posters, old maps and even the tried and true funny pages. And make my family proud, an old piece of cloth might even look beautiful with the right ribbon and sprucing up.

Another thought? Wrap presents that go together in one package. Also, try to avoid buying gifts that are too large that would take extra wrapping – they probably have too much packaging in them anyway.

If you do need to wrap some gifts in paper, track down some recycled gift wrapping.

Shipping

I know I still have to get my gift boxes sent off. When you do, try to find old boxes to mail your gifts, be sure to avoid the plastic peanuts and use old newspaper and other pieces from your recycle bin to pack your items. Sometimes I save my sons used ziplock bags and then blow them up for cushion in the boxes.

Finally, you should know that the USPS is actually doing an excellent job of being green about their shipping. They have eco-friendly packaging and even soy based inks and non toxic adhesives. To learn more, go check out their site.

Cross posted at Type A Moms.

So, I was standing there in the toy section of Target today, with my two year old tantruming at my feet (same ol’, same ol’), and my Christmas budget numbers swimming in my head… when I hit a wall.

Not a real wall, although, that is certainly possible these days. My tantruming child and bad eyes can keep me from walking in a straight line a LOT of the time. However, the wall I hit was a mental one. I had to stop. The colorful boxes and stacks of hasbro toys piled to the ceiling just seemed to blur together…

What am I going to get my kids for Christmas?

I really have NO idea.

Ok, the BIG gift is taken care of. It’s really a huge splurge for us. But we couldn’t help it. My husband calls it the “Red Ryder bb gun of today’s generation”. What is it? Drumroll… a Wii. Yeah, none of you folks are shocked as your own fingers itch to try your own hidden Wii out too… maybe if I just tested it, maybe if I just sliiiid it out of it’s box ever so carefully… Um. I digress.

So we have the “Red Ryder” gift for the big day. And in some ways, that’s pretty good and everything else should be knick knacks off the dollar store shleves, right? Well, yeah, the two $1.00 Snoopy coloring books I wound up buying at Target (after hitting said wall) certainly count for that. But if I *DID* happen to want to pick up a few more things, and make those carefully earned and budgeted dollar bills really count… what should I get? I am really at a loss this year.

And I have been happy to give out advice about what to give other people’s pre-schoolers but that’s stuff I already know about – or have. But standing there in Target, with beautifully, exciting and fun packaged stuff all around me… well, I didn’t know what to do. What should I get?

By the way – YES – I have asked T. what he wants for Christmas. His response? An etch-a-sketch… and a Wii. Ok, so maybe I should just leave it at that. But, c’mon, a couple more things can’t hurt, right?

Now, I know there are plenty of you out there with a wealth of knowledge about cool toys. So I am asking for your help. Here are my parameters, I have the following:

• One shy five year old boy who loves Star Wars, techie stuff, board games and most sports.
• One loud, tantrumy out-going two year old who loves Mickey Mouse, pirates, cars and trucks and things that go.
• One limited budget, but still – there is money to be spent on a few key items.

And not to sound picky, but if I’m gonna spend our money on Christmas presents for my kids, I want them to be really fun, interesting, and even educational. Not just more brightly colored, plasticky STUFF that will break, get piled in a corner and left. (And then finally heaped into boxes for Salvation Army, you should SEE the pile I’ve got going in my garage right now.)

So, yeah, I’m still stuck.

What ARE those one or two brilliant, “must have” gifts? YOU TELL ME. I welcome all suggestions. Even from toy peddlers or PR people or what have you. Bring it on. Come one, come all. I am open to anything. Post links, assuming they are appropriate, I’ll make sure they won’t get spammed out. I value your opinion and will consider each suggestion.

(And posting your ideas here mean other moms will get ideas too. So please share your wealth of knowledge!)

It’s the holidays - help a mother out!

Thanks folks.

After a week of democratic fervor, froth and frenzy; a week of endless pundit chatter, extraordinary speeches and historic nominations; and a week of way WAY too many cogs in my head spinning, churning and smoking away, I am left slightly short of breath. And as excited and energized as I feel after the DNC - honestly - I am left stressed out. For real. I am sitting here muttering and wringing my hands like a crazy woman.

What’s my problem?

Oh, Lordy. Well, I have just so much invested in this election. I have never wanted a candidate elected more in my entire life. There is so very much at stake and it’s freaking me out to care this much. And I know I am not the only one.

So what is my list of worries? Read along and see if yours are anything like mine. Here we go.

I am worried about the future of our supreme court justices.

I am worried about the future of this war and the lives of our military serving.

I am worried about my rights to choose.

I am worried about assuring equal rights for everyone.

I am worried discrimination of any kind has been acceptable for far too long.

I am worried about equal pay for equal work.

I am worried about our addiction to excess and stuff.

I am worried about how much less my house is worth.

I am worried about my outrageously expensive grocery bill.

I am worried about chocolate and tequila production prices going up yet again. (Didn’t you hear? Hershey’s chocolate costs were going up 11%! Damn this economy!)

I am worried that the average American family can’t afford to have one parent home with their children any longer.

I am worried Hillary supporters are going to dig in further and refuse to vote.

I am worried voters will choose their candidate based on race or gender ALONE.

I am worried Americans don’t look at themselves carefully enough.

I am worried we think more about ourselves and our own needs, than the needs of our society as a whole.

I am worried we are lazy and we won’t change old habits, focus on our environment, and break our addiction to oil.

I am worried Bush has permanently damaged our country.

I am worried this country has been dumbed down and can’t think outside the box.

I am worried we succumb too easily to fear mongering.

I am worried we have been at war for over 5 years and we are no safer from terrorism.

I am worried that Republicans and Democrats alike underestimate and make unfair assumptions about one another.

I am worried we really aren’t ready for change.

I am worried that no news is unbiased news and so I never know what  the real news is.

I am worried my sons might be drafted into war someday.

I am worried the rest of the world hates our country more than it did before September 11th.

I am worried about my horrid health care plan: if one of us were to become seriously ill, we would be in extraordinary debt.

I am worried about affording college in 15 years.

I am worried about trying to get some paid work within the next year.

I am worried about tax cuts and how they have already affected our local school system, public universities, our local infrastructure, my local library and other public systems set up to assist us.

I am worried that the rich keep getting richer and the poor keep getting poorer.

I am worried about hate.

But I can’t forget Obama’s speech last night. I do believe their is some hope ahead *if* he is elected. And I’ve said this before, I know that even if he IS elected, he has one hell of a mess to untangle. But, there is hope. I will leave you with this last potion of his speech. (Please read his entire speech here.) I hope you find some hope in it as well.

America, we cannot turn back.  Not with so much work to be done.  Not with so many children to educate, and so many veterans to care for.  Not with an economy to fix and cities to rebuild and farms to save.  Not with so many families to protect and so many lives to mend.  America, we cannot turn back.  We cannot walk alone.  At this moment, in this election, we must pledge once more to march into the future.  Let us keep that promise – that American promise – and in the words of Scripture hold firmly, without wavering, to the hope that we confess.

Have a wonderful weekend, I am going to do my damnedest not too think so flipping hard and maybe even have a good stiff drink. (Probably not tequila, though… damn…)

(Oh and please note. Comments that might disagree with my politics or points of view are absolutely welcome. It’s cool. I love open, respectful discussion. It makes the world go round. However, if your comment is rude, it’s getting deleted. Enough said.)

The other day, while I was pulling out my recycle bins to the curb, T. asks me “Can I recycle?” I stand up, beaming with pride and a little bit smug thinking my kid is so brilliant and say “Of course you can!” Excited but a little expectant, he says back to me “Ok!…” But then, he gives me a blank look. ”Um, hon, do you know what recycling means?” “Nope!” Oh, alrighty then. Its time he learned. Its time he understands what it means to be (yup, I’m gonna use it, the cool, oh so “Al Gore” word of the moment is…) GREEN.

Now I am no uber-green mom. I hate myself for it but sometimes I do buy things out of convenience rather than their level of “greeness”. I live with guilt wondering what sort of carbon foot-print I am leaving when I buy the individual packages of goldfish for playgroup rather than the one big pack. And how many times do I forget the cloth bags for groceries and use the plastic instead? I’d say that has happened 75% of time recently. Not cool of me. I try though, I honestly do what I can. I’m just saying I’m no environmental rock star. But that doesn’t mean I can’t start teaching my son how to be more aware of what he is doing and how he might make a positive impact on his environment. Plus, if I show my kids how to be better with the environment, this could be my way of paying back the universe for years and years of sort’ve, kind’ve doing only the basics. 

To kick off getting my kids green, I thought I would put together a list of what I could realistically do with my sons. And selfishly, I think if I can succeed at teaching them to be more responsible with their environment, they can keep me on MY toes and maybe I will finally do a better job too.

But there are a couple things I want to do before I begin.

Firstly, I need to sit down and explain to my son what waste means. This is sort’ve a tough thing for them to get. What, there isn’t an endless source of everything like the endless source of crackers and water bottles in mommy’s purse, always there whenever I need it? Things actually RUN OUT!? I may need to sit down and physically spell this out to him. I might have to do some sort of demonstration or use a good website (I will get to those soon too) but it might break his heart to realize you can’t just keep going back for more of whatever you want. Honestly, its just a good old fashioned life lesson he needs to learn anyway.

Secondly, as I begin this process, one thing I absolutely DON’T want to do is make my children feel guilty or bad about the environment. There is plenty of time to feel bad about it as grown-ups (ugh, we’re screwed, seriously, my guilt is 100% “in check”, thank you very much…). Being a regularly green kid needs to be fun. It needs to turn into a habit. They can’t feel like the polar ice cap is melting JUST because they didn’t recycle that last water bottle. Lets make this a positive experience for them. If it makes them happy, they’ll actually do it right?

So here we go.

1) Turn the lights off when you leave a room. That’s not so hard to do! Maybe I could introduce a reward system? Or a glow in the dark sticker over the light switch that they can get excited to see? I think they can do this.

2) Be aware of water. Brush your teeth with the water off. Both kids should be in the bath at the same time and it doesn’t need to be “swimmable” full. Set a timer with the sprinkler or hose time. Have fun in it but, when you’re done, turn it off. Or even better, fill up the kiddie pool and play with water that way! Also, have them drink from a Brita or water filtering system and explain why.

3) Make a stack of recycle paper (usually left over from the printer) to color on. Make sure to use both sides before getting another piece!

4) Make the different recycle bins accessible and easy to identify. Make sure your child knows how to sort cans, plastic and paper (see cool websites again) and have them do this for you. Explain what it means to recycle and reuse. Point out everyday things that we can reuse (like the plastic grocery bags mommy always gets because she forgets her cloth bags – DARN IT). Even dropping off old clothes and toys at the salvation army is a way to recycle. Keep using these words in your vocabulary, they’ll get it.

5) When you go to the grocery store, have your child be the “bag helper”. Make it a big deal that he or she gets to bring the cloth bags into the store. A reward system for this would be good too. Because if they remember and are excited to bring those bags in - FINALLY – you won’t have to use those horrid plastic bags!

6) Walk and ride bikes! If there is a location (like a playground) that is bikeable distance, call this the “bike or walk park”. No cars allowed! It will force you to park the car and get your butt in gear too.

7) Have a NO MEAT night. Whether its a pasta night or bean and cheese quesadilla night, skip the chicken fingers once a week. Put it on the calendar and make it something fun to look forward to.

8 ) Have a monthly earth day. See how little electricity you can use in one day. Its like camping in your house! No TV, play outside, eat sandwiches for dinner, no lights at night, get out flashlights, tell stories, have fun!

9) Teach your kids to love the outdoors. This is a big one for me. Teach them that the trees and grass actually make the air we breathe – more trees, the better we can breathe! Teach them to appreciate bugs, and worms, and birds and all the parts of our eco-system that we actually depend on. I often do plant and animal scavenger hunts on walks: make a list of things they have to find such as a bug, 4 birds, 6 different kinds of leaves, 3 flowers, etc. If they grow up loving the environment and the animals in it, they will be much more likely to protect it.

10) Invest in a zoo or aquarium annual pass. Again, show them animals and have them talk to the zookeepers who are loaded with cool facts and ideas about how to protect and respect our wildlife.

So that’s a start. I do think these will work. Like I said, I am no expert here or HARDLY the green mommy of the year (cough, choke, hardly). But I am going to TRY putting these into affect. Wish me luck!

Finally, I found some really cool websites that might be fun to try with your kids. Check them out, make them favorites, sit with your kids and explain. There are some great games, interesting animations and cool learning tools. Have fun!

PBS Kids EEKOWORLD: Games, interactive fun, information

EPA Climate Change website for kids: Games, links, animations, explanations

EERE, Kids Saving Energy(US Department of Energy)

EPA Student Center (US Environmental Protection Agency)

Earth Matters: Games, information about Otis the Otter and the ocean

Ben’s Guide: U.S. Government websites for kids (Smithsonian, National Zoo, etc.)

I Buy Different: For Teen kids, sponsored by the World Wildlife Fund

Everyday is Earth Day: Starfall, a ‘learn to read’ website

Meet the Greens: Cool kids website about the Green Family, sponsored by Public Television.

Trees! Get into the coolness of trees at this website sponsored by the Arbor Day Foundation.

Write it! Feeling passionate about this subject too? Here is how you and your kids can contact your senator, representative or even the Prez!

Cross posted on BlogHer.

It all started out with the best of intentions. When T. turned five last week, his grandmother sent him a crisp $20.00 bill to spend on whatever he would like. What a sweet and smart gesture! A true acknowledgement that he was a big boy – five! – and old enough to have his own money. T. and I agreed that he could take his money to Toys R Us where he could buy a special toy all by himself. So, today, holding onto some left over birthday cheer, we headed over to the recently opened Toys R Us up the road. When we got out of the car, he was absolutely fired up. He jumped up and down beside me, his $20.00 held tight in his hand. And I was excited too, I thought that he might get a good lesson about money and how to spend it. This would be fun!

Walking into Toys R Us still holds the same magic for me as it did when I was a kid. Like something out of a dream, bright primary colored toy boxes were laid out before us, as far as the eye could see, from floor to ceiling. My heart still skips a beat when I pass that wonderful candy pink aisle packed with every kind of cool Barbie stuff. I remember standing in that aisle with my own birthday money, carefully weighing my options, giddy, silly and wanting.

I asked T. where he would like to look first. He said “Star Wars stuff” so we headed there. He went straight up to the $49.00 Darth Vadar/Death Star transformer. “What about this?” “Sorry hon, too expensive.” And then pointed out what things were ok. He touched all the boxes, considering everything but he seemed a bit overwhelmed. So I said that maybe we should walk around a bit and see what else there was.

When we stopped at the Thomas the tank aisle, without any hesitation, he picked up a starter train set for $19.99 and said “I want this!” Perfect! Ok! Let’s go check out.

…”But what about the Star Wars things??”

“Um, no, hon, this train set costs $20.00. You’ve spent all of your money.”

And that’s when it happened. I could practically hear the audible snap. Greed swooped in and clutched my son’s usually rational brain – a beast took over.

“NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I WANT THE STAR WARS THINGS!!! I WANT THE TRAIN THINGS!!!! I WANT EEEVVVVEEERRREEEETHIIIIIING!!!!!”

He promptly burst into tears and slumped down on the platform displaying all the bikes. While C. ran up and down the bike aisle, with a bike helmet on, T. sobbed. I explained that he couldn’t have everything. $20.00 will only buy him somethings or one thing. Not everything. He was crushed. He was overwhelmed. The decision was impossible.

We finally went with the train set. As we went to check out, we steered clear of the Star Wars aisle for fear he would be set off once again. But what really made me sad was that he wasn’t giddy and excited about his purchase. He seemed resigned. Instead of getting a fun new toy, he looked like he had actually lost something. His eyes were still wet, his face was sad and walked behind me slowly. This was not the fun adventure I thought it would be. The only lesson he learned was there is so much he couldn’t have. Granted, that is a very important lesson for any child, but again, it wasn’t exactly how I thought the experience would go down when we walked in there a half hour prior.

As I have mentioned before, I try to limit too much stuff in our lives. Call it being cheap, being green, or saving space, but we honestly don’t have half the toys his friends do. And even the toys T. has, he only plays with them now and then. T. has never been a stuff guy. Presents are fun to open but he’ll leave something in its box for days and only vaguely find interest when I get his attention and ask him if he wants to open it with me. He is usually happier with a book, playing a board game, playing outside with a ball or in the sprinkler. Of course, he loves T.V. but not too much. He has always seemed “just right” with his need for any sort of excess. He has never hoarded, he has always shared well, and – shockingly – he has never begged or pleaded or demanded a toy (ice cream, yes, a toy no). Until today.

So excuse me as I unleash the mommy guilts within. But, today, I feel like I ruined a little bit of him. I let money become something exciting. I let the stuff become a fun thing to get and find and need. My heart went a little cold when he said “I want everything.” I know this is a human reaction. We all want a shopping spree. We all get excited over stuff. We all get bummed out when we can’t afford something we want desperately. Its normal, he needs to understand how buying things works and understand the value and limits of money. And, I assure you, there will be more birthday money in his future, we will set out for Toys R Us once again, and we will keep working on this lesson until it is good and learned. But, I guess, just to see his first moment where he is actually heartbroken over not getting some sort of stuff… It just didn’t feel so good.

And here’s the kicker. After lunch we pulled out the train, got it all set up (making a figure eight with train tracks is no easy feat, I mean it) and now its sitting there untouched on our family room floor. A few minutes ago, I asked him ”What about your train, T.? Why don’t you play with that for a little bit?” “Its making me boring, mommy” Oh o.k. Terrific.

Stuff. We want it. We stress over it. We use money we don’t even have to buy it. We finally get it, hold it up like a trophy fish scooped out of mall’s ocean. When, most of the time, we really don’t even need it.

With my new washer all hooked up, I have settled back into washing daily loads upon loads of dirty laundry again. While sorting socks and thanking my lucky stars for that sweet Kenmore yet again (sigh), I was reminded of my first year and a half with my oldest boy T. We lived in a small one bedroom apartment outside of Boston. The one bedroom was big and we were able to divide it off between us and the baby. However, the apartment itself was a lesson in humility to be sure. Our kitchen was tiny with a small frig, a small oven and no dishwasher. We also did not have a washer or dryer. And with a newborn producing mass quantities of every sort of bodily fluid, it was a struggle. But in the moment, I thought to myself: remember this. Why? Because we got by. We did it. We didn’t have a ton of space, a ton of stuff, we didn’t have every cool appliance or endless cool new baby gadgets. And we were fine.

So now we live in a house, but it’s certainly not the biggest house around. My boys share a room and their toys compete with our living space (the toys are winning by a long shot). Again, I think back to our Boston apartment days. We had a lot less, and we were fine.

Maybe its partly to save money or be more “green” or to save space, but I find myself coming back to the same realization: there is way way WAY too much excess expected in our lives.

Its impossible to avoid. We live in such a world of stuff. Catalogs, websites, malls, magazines, commercials, talk shows… they beckon and lure us in. Friends, moms, neighbors all around fall in love with stuff and try to convince us we need it too. Its cool, its fun, its efficient, its absolutely necessary to get by.

And what is it that we all seem to need? 

How about household stuff: Two cars, and after 4 or 5 years, turn them in for new ones. Stainless steel appliances, even though those regular white ones still work fine. Two computers – a laptop and a regular sized PC with a nice flat screen monitor. Scanners, printers, cable boxes, wireless routers, DVD players, surround sound systems, and a million power strips to try and support it all. A grill, a big one with a big gas canister attached. Ipods, iphones and all the iattachments. Digital cameras, video cameras, phone cameras. Chargers for everything. Digital picture frames, security systems, a TV mounted on the porch, halogen track lighting. Blue tooth stuff. Flat screen TVs – for every room. Video gaming equipment and games upon games upon games. Cool chairs to sit in while you play those games. Garage door openers, garbage compactors, lawn mowers, edgers, whipper snippers, sprinkler systems to maintain unnaturally green grass.

What about babies? Well they need: bassinettes, cribs, excersaucers, bumbos, bouncers, swings, jumparoos, slings, backpacks, play mats, pack n plays, video and/or audio monitors, high chairs, 3 strollers minimally, car seats for each car, and every latest Baby Einstien developmental toy out there. You don’t have those? You’re a horrible mom. And then the diapers. Do I even need to explain the diapers? The excess which diapers represent? And how many of us know cloth diapered babies? I think I can count on one hand moms who use cloth diapers. And I am not one of them. Of course, kids do get potty trained (with potty seats and stickers and treats and endless loads of washing to clean up mistakes). 

Then comes the kid stuff: train tables, all the $15 Thomas the train trains, princess gear, swing sets, board games with pieces spread all over the house, dress up clothes, books upon books upon books, heaps of forgotten stuffed animals (where do they all come from?), bikes of every size, wagons, slip n slides, pools, sandboxes, kiddie kitchen sets, plastic this, plastic that, bright, buzzing, falling apart. New clothes, always new. Old clothes hardly worn because they grew.

Our clothes: Piles of ancient fraying t-shirts, old jeans you swear you’ll fit into, shoulder padded dresses you’ve forgotten you used to like, jackets of every sort even though you live in Florida. Clothes with tags still on them because the sale was too good in the store, but they are sort’ve ugly out of the store. Clothes you bought trying to feel better, clothes you bought that made you feel worse. And shoes that seem to reproduce at the bottom of the closet, old ones falling stiff and flat and forgotten.

Food: Meat, every night, with packaging. Veggies bought, never eaten, rotting at the bottom of the crisper. Bags of potatoes bought in bulk that grow spuds faster than they’re eaten. Leftovers you swear you were going to eat, but seemed to have crawled off to the back of the frig. Seperate overly packaged containers of yogurt, applesauce, cookies, crackers, cheese, granola bars, easy mac, formula, juice. Bottles and bottles of water. Cans and cans of soda. (What DOES soda do exactly?)

And then cleaning it all up: Water left on while you rinse a plate. Handfuls of paper towels to clean up any water spilt while washing that plate. Antibacterial wipes – which we all love - pulled out and used for everything, then tossed. Cleaners of every variety, in big colorful containers. Water is still left on this time to brush teeth, to wash the kids hair in the tub, to water the plants, to play in, to wash the car… oh the water is still on? And some of us recycle, some stuff, some of the time.

Getting anywhere with your stuff: Cool mommy minivan started up and air conditioner on. Gotta get to that other mall across town for that sale. Gunning the accelerator to get through the yellow light. Waiting with the car on, music blaring, a/c blasting in the oh so long drive-thru line …GASGASGASGASGAS…

All of this is just stuff. And a lot of this stuff I have. Or want. We’ve all got it, we all compare it, we all enjoy it, we all toss it out without another thought. I guess what I am trying to do is simply THINK about it. What do I have? What do I really need? What can I live with or without? I want to be aware of why I buy yogurt in individual containers as opposed to the one big quart sized container. Or why I toss things into my cart in the dollar section of Target. Do we really need a new TV? Nope. Did we need that new washer? Yup. But I have made do without one before. So, excuse me as I go gather my garbage for our twice weekly and oh-so-easy curbside pick up tomorrow. I need to go and really think.