I’m writing a post that thousands and thousands of women could probably write at some point in their lives. It’s nothing new and certainly nothing particularly unique. But I know that this very emotional, fairly overwhelming however extraordinarily exciting phase in my life is one I can share with so many mothers everywhere.
I am going back to work full time.
It all happened rather quickly. I wasn’t planning to go back to work until both kids were in school full time next fall. But when I saw the job posting I knew I had to give it a shot. While I won’t go into too many details (I have this thing about keeping work stuff separate from blog stuff), I will say that it involves writing, blogs and social media.
Yeah, exactly.
So while my son battled the flu in the hospital last week, I was dipping out to interview for this position. And then I got it.
*blink*
I got it!
OK then.
So back to work I go. And here’s the part that I think any working mother could write. We could all step into this roller coaster together, strap ourselves in, look at each other nervously and retell the same dips, highs and overwhelming loops our emotions take while making a decision such as this one.
Gratitude.
I have managed to stay home with my children for 8 years. EIGHT. YEARS. While we haven’t had any much of a financial reserve, I have felt like the richest woman in the world for having had this time with them. For the hours and days and weeks and years of constant and connected little boy time, I am grateful beyond words. And rather weepy.
Exhiliaration.
I get to use my brain all day without any interruption? I get to talk to grown-ups and feel like an active, productive, useful member of society? I get to find real success doing something I like to do? *Cheering!* And weepy.
Guilt.
Not counting weekends and evenings, my time off with my children will now be limited to a certain number of hours per year. I am going to have to rely on school, aftercare, summer camps, various babysitters and my husband to pick up where I am leaving off. After eight years of putting them first and foremost in my day every day, I will have to step back. This is hard. This is life-changing. This is an enormous battle in my heart, in every mother’s heart. And this, of course, makes me very very weepy.
Hope.
Parents everywhere struggle to make the balance happen. They hope they know when to put work first and then family first. I hope I can do it right. I hope I have a steady inner scale regulating my gut to push more one way or another. I hope I know when to say no and when to say it will be fine if I’m not there. Neither will be done perfectly. I hope I can come to terms with this. And do right by everyone involved. Less weepy, more resolute.
My Turn.
Eight years of making two little boys the be all and end all of everyday can, well, kind of wear you down. It can make you forget who you are. It can erode your own self-esteem and make you wonder if you can do anything else other than skillfully hide carrots in meat sauce and do fun voices when you read stories. It’s easy to forget that you should sometimes come first. It’s hard to fathom that if you feel good about yourself, you can actually be a better mother. So I am heeding the advice of so many working mothers I know. I am prioritizing “me time”, because allowing myself a place to put my interests first WILL make me a better person and mother. (…right? RIGHT??)
Not weepy. Not at all. In fact I’m kind of relieved. And, yep, happy about that. Plus my kids are far from weepy too. They actually cheered when they found out they are going to aftercare now – you know, with all the cool kids.
“Mommy is going to work just like Daddy! JUST like a grown-up!”
Exactly. It’s time to be a grown-up.
And many thanks to my children who, as I tried to compose my “I accept” email yesterday, decided to have an all out toy-throwing, kicking and screaming, “he started it!” brawl that took two paragraphs a half hour to write. It made my decision that much easier to make. Thanks for that, boys. What would I do without you? We’ll have to see I guess.
So here we go. In a little over a week I will change my title from “Stay At Home Mom” to “Working Mom”. It will be OK though, right? (Tell me I’m right, tell me I’m right, tell me I’m right…)
Again. Like I haven’t been working for the past two years. But does it really count?
Over the past few weeks, I have been reunited with my old resume again. The years-old file was pulled up, dusted off and, with some effort and focus, it is now finally updated. But all this focus on my experience and value as an employee has got me thinking about my own perceptions of work and blogging and how it’s counted after all.
Before I was a blogger or a parent, I worked “for real”. I had a decent salary, I wore suits to work, I had an assistant and people I supervised and years of experience in a career I liked well enough for the time being.
Fancy, huh?
But then I had my first son and, after some heart stopping birth trauma, I dropped that nice salary to stay home and watch my son breathe and feed and make sure he actually exisisted after everything we went through.
And I don’t regret it. Almost seven years later surviving on one salary and a miracle, I am proud of every second I’ve spent watching both of my boys live and play and grow into the people they are today.
But during that time, I started blogging. Little ol’ me started writing and writing and writing. I found a furious affection for it and just kept writing. And then readers started reading. Two years passed and here I am with an enormous archive of posts, a boatload of loyal readers, experiencesbeyond anything I could have dreamed of and such curious titles as “Mommy Blogger” , “Freelancer” and “Influencer”.
Still. While I updated my resume, I wasn’t initially sure what I had to show for myself recently. Even after all of this hard work and all of these posts. It didn’t seem to count as “real” work. Why? Well, no one is paying me to do it. No one is standing over my head with deadlines expecting me to pump all of this out. I don’t have a fancy office or an assistant or co-workers to go have drinks with after work. No salary and benefits seems to give all this Morningside Mom stuff so much less value in my mind.
Which is wrong.
And when I fill out my information under “employment” on forms or meet new people or talk to family members about what I am doing, I’m still a stay at home mom – oh, and who happens to blog *blush*, which is no big deal.
Not ok. At least in my own mind, it deserves more serious consideration and, well, pride.
Why is that so hard to find?
There has been a lot of recent discussion about parent blogs, some of it not so positive. As if we are some sort of catty, free stuff grabbing, bon bon eating, children ignoring, blog writing annoyances. As if we’re not here taking our work seriously while still parenting our children well. As if we’re not actually professionals – fancy salaries or not.
But doesn’t it say something about a person to love their work and focus so carefully on it and maintain a purposeful writing schedule and attend expensive conferences and hold themselves accountable when they have nobody breathing down their necks and are paid absolutely nothing to do it?
And I have to wonder if the fact that we aren’t paid to be “influencers” does us some damage. Because not only are we at risk of not taking more pride in our own work, but we are more easily written off by media, companies and the interwebs at large. We’re just misinformed, chattering outlanders: not journalists, not paid professionals. And if you don’t like what we write, who cares, no one takes bloggers seriously anyway. Clearly, not being held accountable or associated with a particular company or not being given a monetary value can absolutely translate as no value at all.
Screw that.
After all these years of working and writing and caring so much about what I do certainly gives me and my writing value. And as I plugged things into my resume and reviewed posts in my archives, I realized that I have a ton of experience. A ton. While raising my boys, I’ve managed to get an extraordinary amount done on my own accord. And I’ve done it well.
I know being home alone without any one patting me on the back has withered my confidence to some degree. But resume writing always results in important soul searching and I’ve come to realize that all of this – right here, where I have so diligently and loyally posted my thoughts and reviews for over two years - deserves pride and it deserves recognition.
So there.
Ok. So fine. I feel a little better about myself. And that’s very nice, isn’t it? But what will it really mean down the line? Will I find employment doing something I already do and love doing? Or will I find myself starting from scratch because maybe my value as an employee doesn’t really translate just because I have a blog where I write.
Isn’t that nice, dear. Now. What have you REALLY done, hmmm? Perceptions of bloggers are what they are, no matter how much value I give my own work.
I’ll keep you posted as I always do. Until then, I have some ramblings running around in my head about my usual topics: my kids, some punditry, fabulous upcoming giveaways, missing my mom, Florida living, random ponderings and so much more.
It’s what I do and – take it or leave it - it’s what I do well. Let’s just hope that folks who might actually pay me in real, actual dollar bills think so too.
So. The other day my innocent little Morningside Mom blog got hacked. It didn’t last long because I freaked out, switched on the Internet bat-call and the wonderful Shannon Entin came through for me once again.
She (thanks be to all that is good on the internets) fixed it.
And as someone who writes, but is woefully unskilled in web techie stuff – Shannon’s skills are so beyond just simply appreciated. I mean she may as well have been standing in front of my laptop, posed in tights and with cape flying in the wind out behind her, one foot propped on whichever toy lay closest. She is smarter than a speeding bullet and rescues non techies in a single bound. My hero. For reals.
Thankfully it wasn’t a hard core hack. Just someone hacking me because they just could.
(Bastards. I hope karma gets you good and you have a complete zit explosion before school next week and you totally get your ass grounded somehow.)
Lesson of the day? Keep your updates updated, change your passwords, keep your passwords (duh, but seriously) and back up your work.
Anyway, so the whole hacking business was timely. Why? Because I’ve been in kind of a strange place with online stuff recently. I think maybe it started last December when I saw some online ugliness rear its head. And then there was lots of chatter about moms being online so much. If we “digital moms” are getting so much done online, what kind of mothers could we be anyway?
(…because mothers can’t possibly multi-task THAT well. Because mothers wouldn’t work on weekends and late into evenings to get something done just because she loves it. Because mothers shouldn’t be doing JACK except stare at their kids playing, eating and pooping all day. Because any stay at home mom who might just happen to have some multi-dimensionality, some other interests, some drive and push in her life along side her love for her children COULDN’T POSSIBLY be a good mother.
I hate that crap. WITH A PASSION.)
So while those conversations were happening online and on cable news networks, it was only natural that I started evaluating how much time I spend blogging. It’s a lot of time.
However. I will staunchly defend myself on this. Like most of the amazing “digital moms” I know, I can assure you that my kids “tricycle riding, playground playing, snuggle and a book reading, homework sitting, ass wiping, coming home from school tripping, feeding, feeding and feeding” time is not compromised. I do those things and I do them well.
But that just started feeding into another issue I’ve been questioning. One most bloggers I know struggle with regularly. I suddenly started feeling that for ALL the work I pour into writing online and for almost nothing in return financially while being questioned about my capabilities as a parent for blogging in the first place…
(Note the daggers shooting out of my eyes for questioning my mommy skillz. Don’t even.)
All the work and time and effort I do put into writing online for not a ton in return other than the pure satisfaction of writing…
Well.
Is it really worth my time?
Is all of this worth anything?
Ok, I feel like I must sound so crazily unappreciative. I know blogging has brought me adventures and friendships and experiences I would never EVER have had otherwise. There would be no way any of it would have happened without this blog.
So maybe this whole post is just a whiney waste of my reader’s time.
But.
Still. I can’t help but question all of this sometimes.
And when my blog suddenly got hacked, all of it, all of this, seemed suddenly so vulnerable. One day, one decent hacker, and *POOF* all this is gone, all that hard work down the drain.
This online stuff is just in a computer after all. It’s not an organic, living, breathing thing. Its just vague internetty beeps, codes, whatever. One wrong delete button gets pushed or some system crashes somewhere and… its nothing.
Ok, I’m being dramatic. I know I am. If its backed up well enough, I should be ok. (I can hear tech-inclined folks telling me its so. And probably giving me a very eye-rolling “oh please” look when I question the real-ness of the internets.)
And you know what else is real, organic, living and breathing? The fabulousfriendships and connections I’ve made. THOSE are very real.
And something else which is extraordinarily valuable, very real and wholly alive is, well, my sanity.
Because while I do all that mothering stuff well (and enjoy doing it very much), there are days when I don’t see another adult until late in the evening, when the kids are fast asleep. I am not simply an ass wiping entity. I need to think. And use grown up language about grown up topics. And blogging offers me this. If nothing else, my sanity is handed over to me daily, like carefully prescribed doses of xanax in its own little while paper cup. Be a good mom, take your meds, nice job, back to your corner in your bathrobe where you rock and hum to yourself while parenting your children. Good girl.
Ok. Again with the dramatics.
I’m just trying to make my point.
I bust my ass online everyday but… when I shut my laptop… I can’t help but have the feeling that some hologram-like world around me has suddenly disintegrated and I am left standing alone in my kitchen again. The friendships are wonderful and important (I love you guys!) – but they aren’t right here, right now, for laughs and drinks and hugs, now, IRL. The experiences are fabulous, but they are fleeting and don’t pay the mortgage.
My sanity is priceless however. So hologram world it is. Bring it on.
Ugh.
But before I leave this post on that really pathetic note, I need to take some responsibility here.
The Internet and all of this blogging is only what you make of it. I’m writing all the time, but do I bust my hump to sell myself? Or my writing abilities? Am I all over SEO and Google ranking? Um. Not so much. I’m really sucky PR for myself. There are plenty of online moms who are making much more out of their blogging experience. Why? Because they have their own back. And I need to do that more. Put myself out there. Get more outside gigs. Not just sit here at home, sigh a lot, and wait for it all to drop in my lap.
Yep. So that’s that. All that has been rattling around in my brain about blogging, its hackability, vulnerability and my general purpose outside of parenting.
Back to real life. Or my hologram life. Which one? Or are they the same….
(Oh. Nice, hitchcocky ending.)
I mean Oscar Wilde probably had it right about life imitating art rather than vice versa.
Back to life then. Because it is my life after all.
So thanks to my wonderful, amazing father flying in to babysit my kids and my wonderful, amazing husband who is working his tail off so that I could even afford to go to in the first place, I am heading to the Type A Mom Conference in Asheville tomorrow.
And I’m going to be 100% honest here. No kids, blog chatter for 4 days and connecting with my blogger girl friends? Yeah. I’m kind besides myself with glee. I’ll be roadtripping with Down to Earth Mama and rooming with Ilina from Dirt and Noise. And I will be stalking too too many to list. So many it’s kind of embarrassing. At least Pundit Mom expects some stalking from me. So does Anissa Meyhew. And shoot, Kelby Carr? Fugetaboutit. Oh and Sugar Jones should watch her back because I may just tackle her with a hug. There are too many… TOO MANY I TELL YOU!
*Panting*
Must calm down. I can say I’m stalking people, but I can’t really stalk anyone for real. (Right?) Seriously. BE COOL, CAROLINE.
(Noting to self: No panting, no staring, no following. Got it.)
So that’s where I’ll be. I feel kind of like I am telling my mom what I’m doing. I promise to call if I’ll be late. No, there won’t be any sex or drugs, I swear (…that I’ll be made aware of)… (although, my fingers are crossed behind my back in anticipation of a couple cocktails however…). Leave the porch light on and I promise I will tell you ALL about it when I get back.
Sometimes I start into my day only to realize the world is out to get me. Before the sun has even begun to peak through the trees beyond our back ponds, I have got it alllll figured out – the universe has my backside in its cross hairs.
Oh, you think I’m over reacting? I’m not. This is real. This is war and apparently I am decidedly the axis of evil. Stay on my side, ok? Don’t turn against me too. We need to round up our forces. Let me repeat myself. The world is out to get me. Help.
Here’s what happens. When I wake up on those mornings, right away I know. Something isn’t quite right. As soon as they run out to the living room, my pajama clad children have upped their whines to decibels which call dogs for miles. I know their shtick. They probably have it all planned (you know, who would nag me about what and for how long) way before I get them out of bed. Oh and one of my boys has coincidentally sprouted a cold- green boogers flowing forth, awaiting my tissue. What – did he spend the entire day before licking shopping cart handles in preparation?
And then I arrive in the kitchen and the dishes are certainly dirtier than they were when I went to bed. What? Was my husband up late night dirtying extra plates just for fun? And no PRE-RINSE!?!?!!!!! No pre-rinse??? So now its all crusted FOREVER!!!!!! I’m speechless.
And what was that? The garbage men have come and gone a full hour before they normally do? Oh, right. Bloody typical. And then, while I try and make a hasty one slipper on, one slipper off mad dash out to the corner with the trash anyway, the whole thing dumps over. Someone over filled it, someone broke its wheel, someone wants to make me miserable.
Don’t you SEE whats going on here?
I know then and there, while my children pretend not to scheme behind my back over their bowls of cereal, its time to get my game face on. Oh yeah. I wasn’t born yesterday. I know when someone has pasted a “drive me frickin’ nuts today” sign on my back. I can hear the snickering from my children, my husband, the trash men. I know their game.
And then my husband emerges and my anger turns inward. He hasn’t even made eye contact. He hasn’t even said good morning. He hardly knows I exist.
I look like shit, don’t I?
That’s right. My husband doesn’t even think his own wife is attractive. What should I expect. Not like I even have time to look nice EVER. Not like we ever GO on any DATES or anything so why should I bother, right? I’m going to be 36 this year. I am merely the dried up, raisin husk of the woman he married 9 years go.
“Good morning.” He says. Pffft. If you say so. Don’t toy with me. There will be no response back, thank you very much.
Shoes are lost. Uniform shirts aren’t clean. SOMEONE forgot to tell me the yogurt drinks for packed lunches are out (what am I, a mind reader). The cat is clawing the priceless Afghan carpet (that my father brought home from Kabul, hand woven by a woman with nothing and here my cat CLAWS at it?!?!). And I am pretty sure it’s going to be overcast and cool today. (Hello? It’s Florida!? We don’t DO imperfect weather.)
And my husband thinks I am unattractive. I don’t get on the Wii Fit enough. I keep eating those damn Hershey’s kisses. What is it with the chocolate lately? And I am quite sure it was planted in my house to make me fat anyway.
Fine so then my husband and son leave for the day. Fine. Just leave me here. Alone with my tantruming two year old where we will be stuck in “same shit, different groundhog day” hell. In 10 minutes I am going to get hassled for a snack and “not that one, not that one either, NOOOOO not THAT one NOOOOOO!!!!!” In an hour I am going to be picking up what didn’t get in a potty. Awesome. And in 5 hours and 23 minutes, I will spend 56 minutes battling said child, wooing him to nap while he refuses to and immediately loses his mind because in actuality he needs that frickin nap like I need my sanity. Like I need those bloody Hershey’s kisses. (Guess whats for lunch.) So good-bye husband. Dessert me again. Go enjoy adults and conversation and quiet trips to the bathroom BY YOURSELF.
Oh and I need to write. That’s right. I need to find inspiration and get about five posts written. Because I need to bust my ass for a job that pays me chump change on a GOOD day. Right. So lets figure out what I’m going to write. Ok. While I sit here alone on groundhog day and get repeatedly whacked by a light saber. Sure. There are so many interesting things to write about that inspire me daily. WHACK. Yes, so many new and fascinating things which happen in my very own house that I must write them ALL down. WHACK. I am simply brimming with inspiration. WHACK WHACK.
So finally, I give up. A shower is my only hope. A shower always helps. Assuming there is still hot water. Assuming the soap isn’t all out leaving me with an empty container in its place or my two year old doesn’t decide to pull the entire entertainment system down on top of himself right when I turn on the water because that could very well happen – he’s plotting it all right now I tell you, cackling evilly to himself.
So, however resigned, I wander into the bathroom. And there I see it. A blue plastic case, popped open and… empty but for the last week of placebo pills.
So I am quite sure by now that I do in fact have a blogger guardian angel. No, I do. And I need to light a candle on her behalf every night and thank her for all she brings my way.
So what is it this time?
Well. I was emailed by a friend/colleague/reader of mine the other day and asked if I would like to be part of an phone interview with (here it is, folks…) Chandra Wilson. She is the enormously talented actor who plays Dr. Bailey on “Greys Anatomy”. It turns out she is a spokesperson for the Treat With Care Campaign and is working with the Consumer Healthcare Products Association to advocate for the safe use of children’s over the counter medication. Would I be interested in participating in the call and interviewing her as a mom blogger?
Um. Yeah. I think so.
Some quick back story here. Now, like households everywhere, I watch “Greys” regularly. It’s a fabulous show. But here’s the thing. Of ALL the characters (McSteamys and McDreamys included), my stand alone, top of the pile, absolute favorite character on that show is Dr. Bailey. Her character is an incredible example of a smart, witty, relatable hard working mother who digs in and scraps for what she believes in. I stand by Dr. Bailey with every episode. Just ask my husband. When the credits roll, I clutch a couch pillow to my heart and confess my solidarity with Dr. Bailey. She simply rocks that show.
And last Friday I got to interview her.
That couch pillow? Yeah, it kind of got thrown in the air a bit.
Ok. So down to the nitty gritty. What is the Treat With Care Campaign all about?
Before we start, I must confess something. I am not sure if this deems me as being highly unprofessional, but I didn’t write down the conversation word for word so I could transcribe the interview exactly as it went here. Sorry about that folks. Color me a wee bit star struck, I got caught up in the convo – talking and writing just wasn’t going to happen. But I did take notes and will do my damnedest to do it all justice here for you. So here we go. (And its a little long but like I care. It’s Chandra Wilson for pete’s sake!)
Once we all called in, we heard a little bit from the Consumer Healthcare Products Association (CHPA). They are a non-profit, consumer focused association supported by the makers of many over the counter medications (OTCs). The Treat With Care Campaign is their initiative to encourage the safe use of children’s OTCs. The USFDA recently changed its OTC recommendations and now suggests they be used for children 4 and older (as opposed to previous labels recommending use for ages 2 and older). And with that, Chandra Wilson was introduced to us as their spokesperson for the Treat With Care Campaign and we were welcomed to ask her questions.
Chandra greeted us all and I couldn’t help but smile. I know that voice! She was very encouraging and certainly seemed happy to speak with us. So, as I gathered myself, rallying whatever bit of professionalism I had, I couldn’t help but think the following:
“Its Dr. frigging BAILEY!!! Ok, she sounds cool. In fact, she seems a whole lot sweeter than what I expected. Like the softer, gentler, more relaxed twin of Dr. Bailey. And shes a mom! And here she is just chatting away with us! Bah! Must not freak out but I SO TOTALLY AM!”
Breathe.
So then it was my turn to ask a question. Anxious, shameless and a little bit starstruck, I jumped right in. As a mother of a 3 year old, I asked her how this campaign has changed how she cares for her son when he has a cough or cold.
She explained to us it has changed her life a great deal. Before, she never thought twice about about treating her child’s cough or cold the way she might treat her own. But since becoming involved in this campaign, she has learned the following tips:
Read labels and never give your child more than the recommended dose
Store medications out of reach AND out of sight of your children. The flavors can be enticing, so she even turns the labels with the cute grapes inward
Never use an OTC for children younger than the recommended age of four or under (unless prescribed otherwise by a doctor)
Never use adult medications for children
Never use any medication for the purpose of making your child sleepy
(Can I just say here that as she was carefully listing these tips, I started slipping back into a “Greys” state of mind. Since she is clearly informed about this topic, she suddenly sounded a little more like Dr. Bailey and I had better listen to these points or else she was going to get the Chief involved and make us interns pay! …Oh for crying outloud. SNAP OUT OF IT CAROLINE! Sheeesh.)
She then talked about how she works hard to focus on nutrition and hydration when her child is sick. And when her little one is truly miserable, she always refers to her Pediatrician for cough or cold medications.
So with the new OTC recommendations, I know that I have been nervous about using any OTCs at all for my children. Are they really safe?
Well, she explained that the problems have occured when parents have misused OTCs or children have taken OTCs on their own and over-dosed. In fact, the FDA found this was occurring more often with children under the age of 4, hence the changes on labels. She told us that this campaign is simply just a good reminder to everyone about how to use OTCs – they are safe if they are used correctly.
So should we always ask a pediatrician before we use an OTC, even if the child is over 4?
(Ugh, duh, was this a stupid question? Whatever. I asked it.)
She said that we should use our common sense as parents. But yes, certainly discuss the use of any meds with our pediatrician. She has found that since she has been involved in this campaign, she always contacts her pediatrician whenever she is in doubt – it’s always better to be safe than sorry.
The other bloggers asked questions too of course, and she was so nice to everyone. (Although I do feel a bit guilty. Maybe I asked too many questions? Maybe I jumped in there too often? My apologies to the other bloggers, I think I sort of lost my mind a bit. Ok. Let it go.) But ultimately, she came back to the same points I’ve already mentioned and made sure to underscore the importance of using OTCs safely. Then the CHPA rep asked us if we had any further questions.
Heh. I did, of course. (Shocker of all shockers.)
I asked Chandra that I was pretty sure all of our readers would love to know how she balances being a mother with such a demanding career.
She explained that she has a great support team in place. She has a day to day schedule and tries to stick with it. And while she has a plan in place, she always makes room for the human factor. Things can change daily and she tries to accommodate accordingly. Sometimes her kids might come to work or maybe one has to get to camp – whatever it is, she just tries to make room for it just like we all do.
And with that, it was time to say good-bye.
Ack. So what did I do? I couldn’t help myself.
While I was thanking her, I just had to get a little gushy. (Groan.) I blurted out that I really appreciate the character she plays since she is a hardworking mother, and she sets such an important example. She said that’s why she loves Dr. Bailey too – she’s real, strong but certainly not perfect. I told her I think that shes fantastic in her role and thanked her for it. And she was so damn nice back. She really was. Did I make a fool of myself gushing a bit there? Eh, maybe. Probably. But who cares. You know why? She has brought such a great character to my Thursday evenings, she SHOULD be thanked you know?
(Ok, Chandra? If luck would have it and you are reading this? I really mean it. Thank you. Dr. Bailey is a fantastic character. And sure sure, its because there are amazing writers for Greys but REALLY. It is *YOU* who makes Dr. Bailey who she is. YOU bring this character to life. You have reached so many people with your fabulous acting and I just have to say it again. Thank you.)
Stop laughing at me, readers o’ mine. Its ok, I can gush NOW. Its my blog, so I can be out of my mind now, its kind of what I do here, right?
But really, the best part of the whole conversation was just how real and relaxed it was. Because she is not a doctor, she is a working mom just like so many of us. We laughed about our kids, we swapped stories, we talked about how important it is to protect our children. And at the end of our half hour, I was a little sad to say good-bye.
So, if you want to see more of Chandra, here are a couple clips you should watch. First, here is the Treat With Care OTC PSA.
And then, this is the real “non Dr. Bailey” Chandra on Ellen. How cool is she? No, really! She is so damn cool, a mom like us, she loves her soaps and she doesn’t know how to work her TIVO. Yup, I really heart her. (I know, enough with the gushing, but I can’t make any more of a fool of myself here than I already have right?…) – so… rock on Chandra!!!
Thank you again, Chandra Wilson and CHPA for this opportunity.
This is my thirdpost in a series written to honor Women’s History Month. My life has been profoundly influenced and affected by women writing and advocating on my behalf. And now, as I spend my days in a thinking, blogging, posting frenzy, I fancy myself a writer of sorts too. So, it’s high time I acknowledge the women that inspire. Here is my list of top 20 recommended women political bloggers, in no particular order.
Before we get started, please note that I did ask my fellow bloggers and readers who they read also. So this list includes my favorites along with those who have been recommended to me.
Ok then. Here we go.
1. Momocrats: While this is in no particular order, I still must put the Momocrats at the top of my list. As hardworking mothers and progressive thinkers, it often seems as if these women are speaking and advocating exclusively on my behalf when I read their posts. They are amazing writers, they know what they are talking about and the world is sitting up to listen to them.
2. Punditmom is my “go to” political blogger. When something is going down, I want to know what a smart, liberal minded, feminist pundit has to say about it. PM comes through for me every time. And sometimes you’ll even catch her speaking her mind on CNN and Fox too.
3. Julie Pippert is probably smarter than all of us put together. She’s extremely well informed, passionate about her politics and is a mother like so many of us.
4. Queen of Spain is kind of political blogger celeb in my mind. She landed an interview with President Obama during the election and has been seen on TV and at major political events ever since.
5. Writes Like She Talks is a fantastic political blogger and has written for Newsweek.com, has made several appearances on CNN and is a columnist. She is certainly a political blogger to be reckoned with.
6. Sairy is a Momocrat who’s found herself reporting from a White House Press conference, amongst other things. Here is her full bio – she is an important voice worth following.
7. Angry Black Bitch: Straight forward, very brilliant and never afraid, I met Shark-Fu on my first day of BlogHer 08 and have been reading her ever since.
8. Viva La Feminista writes as a feminist, Latina and mother – her voice is powerful, her message is important.
9. Mombian is an established lesbian family blog which discusses political topics affecting rights (or lack thereof) for same sex parents.
10. Feministing “is an online community for feminists and their allies.” The women here have created a talented and diverse community as they advocate for equal and human rights.
Other blogs recommended to me:
11. Citizen Jane Politics is described as an un-partisan, independent, political blog from women.
12. Blonder Than You is a DC blogger shooting straight from the hip, so to speak.
13. Women Wired In is a blog created for and about women, politics and technology.
14. Bang the Drum describes herself as a die-hard democrat and political junkie. She’s also a mom of three and lives in CA.
16. The Feministe: To quote directly from their bio, “Feministe is one of the oldest feminist blogs designed by and run by women from the ground up.” Now go read it.
17. The Little Pink Clubhouse claims that she has a “consuming interest in politics” and writes from a small town outside Seattle.
18. HeartFeldt Politics is written by Gloria Feldt, a women’s activist whose voice is heard – and read – everywhere from the Huffington Post to the New York Times.
19. Womanist is written by a mother who describes herself as a pacifist, anti-racist and humanist – oh yeah, and a woman-ist.
20. The Political Voices of Women: If 20 women political bloggers just aren’t enough for you, check out the Political Voices of Women where you will find over 500 women telling it how it is.
For all that these bloggers do to keep me informed and advocate on my behalf, I am grateful. Happy Women’s History Month to all of these political bloggers and the women they reach.
It should come as no surprise that I was glued to my television this morning. The Digital Moms series on the Today Show has me sucked in. After being somewhat disappointed by yesterday’s show and the impression it gave viewers, I was ready for something better today. In fact, I was excited because I knew some of the women featured this time. Well, ok, so I actually met Wendy aka eMom at Seaworld but only knew Melissa aka @Consumer Queen and Amber aka @JerseyMomma from twitter. Amber was actually backstage brainstorming with producers during the segment. But STILL. I was behind them, and I had a feeling they’d come through.
So I poured a really reeeeeally big bowl of Cheerios for my thrilled two year old, and saddled up in front of the TV with my laptop – a twitter window open and ready to go. While I waited, Amber and Wendy sent tweets from the green room and the Digital Moms responded with all sorts of support. Melissa’s portion of the show had been filmed from her her home so she anxiously waited for the piece to start right along with us. Trusting that these woman knew what they were doing, and having read Wendy’s tweets from the day before, I had a good feeling about this segment.
Right away a cheer went up across twitter as Melissa (Consumer Queen) showed viewers that all of the products she reviews have come as a result of “a lot of hard work”. She reiterated the importance of her perspective to consumers and the narrator followed up by noting that Melissa is “influencing corporate America” and listed some of the big corporations that have asked for Melissa’s review.
Phew! Yes. Finally. Thank you. It seems this segment would be taking the impact of Digital Moms seriously.
Next the Today Show mentioned the example of the Motrin Ad. Someone on twitter posted “OMG they’re talking about the Motrin Ad!!!” Yes, any digital moms who were on twitter last fall will remember the Motrin Ad well. In November, Motrin released a new ad campaign with some pretty condescending phrasing about baby wearing – women everywhere were insulted. No, really, it was bad. Twitter and blogs alike exploded. Horrified. Outraged. What were they thinking? I am fairly sure it took about 48 hours of this sort of uproar from Digital Moms before Motrin pulled the entire ad campaign. For a summary, ready Crunchy Domestic Goddess’s post about it here. It’s only one example of many who blogged their opinion about the Motrin Ad campaign. And guess what? The company heard these women loud and clear. Why? Because these women are affecting the the success (or not) of a product simply by responding professionally with strong, heartfelt, honest writing.
Once the intro piece was over, Ann began her interview with Wendy and Terri Walter – an advertising Executive from Razorfish Media. They did a fabulous job. I appreciated that immediate focus was given to women as important influencers, not just as women looking for a bunch of free stuff. They underscored how much heart and soul goes into their work. Digital Moms care about what they are doing and take it very seriously. The relationships that bloggers build with readers was emphasized as extraordinarily valuable and full disclosure with readers was the only way to maintain such a relationship. I could not have agreed more when Terri stated that pressure is then put on the product to stand up to real consideration since these women will speak their minds in their review.
And finally Wendy made sure to say that digital moms are “making a difference and changing lives out there”. She disagreed when Ann asked her if this was all just a passing trend. “It’s just the beginning”, marketing has changed thanks to word of mouth and “consumers expect to have a voice, there’s no going back.”
And that’s exactly it. There is no going back. Products are finding success or not based on these women’s opinions. A fancy ad campaign with all the bells and whistles is just not enough anymore. Consumers are always skeptical. They want to hear real opinions from real people. They want to see someone kick the tires and tell them the honest to God truth. And that’s where we come in.
So I’ll say it again.
I am Digital Mom, here me post.
(Ok, no. That just sounds cheesy the second time around…)
Nevertheless, my panties are in less of a bunch today. I am feeling more optimistic about this series now. And I do realize that any focus on what digital moms do is a good thing. You women rocked out today. I’ll certainly be posting some more on this as the week goes on. Cheers.
**UPDATE**
I just DMed Amber aka @jerseymomma to ask if another segment was on this morning (3/11) since I never saw one. She let me know that it seems the series was only Monday (3/9) and Tuesday (3/10). But she did say that the producers were very excited about this topic and she is hopeful they will do more in the future.
So that’s it for now I guess. To sum it all up, digital moms seemed defined by the Today Show as very social mom bloggers who get free stuff and influence corporations if we work really really hard at what we do.
Hmmmm. I think there’s room for more on this topic, don’t you?
So while changing a funky diaper this morning, I happened to have on the Today Show. I usually get about a half hour with Meredith and Matt before I am onto other things in my day. And it was probably going to be switched off right after that diaper change had I not heard the intro to a series about “Digital Moms”.
Wait a second. That’s me!
C’s “Pull Up” got pulled up right quick, I hastily ushered him over to his favorite chalk board and ran back to turn up the volume. And this is what I watched.
Initially I was excited. Yes, here’s focus being given to moms and all that they can do from home and online! So cool!
Um… hold on. Did the Today Show really portray what a “digital mom” is truly all about?
I know its only the first part of the series but so far, I am a little disappointed. Here are my thoughts.
First of all, every woman should in fact follow Laura Fortner’s advice. Yes, use the Internet anyway you need to. If that means finding support groups while you wrestle life as a parent, do it. By all means. Its WAY cheaper than therapy. I’ve got great online friends who have supported me through good and bad. I get it. Women SHOULD connect this way.
And I most certainly use twitter and facebook socially (as well as to promote what I do). In this bloggy world, you have to make personal connections with people if anyone is to take you seriously. That’s the irony about blogging. While it seems rather anti-social to work alone at a computer – it is actually interactive, personal work. But twitter and facebook are certainly not the be all and end all for me. I take no issue if that’s all some moms use the Internet for, just as long as twitter and facebook aren’t what “digital moms” are defined by.
However, the Today Show seemed to portray the digital mom as a social Internet butterfly flitting from one social network to another, hardly offering anything of much value, prioritizing their iphones and laptops over time with their children.
And here’s the funny thing. Businesses and PR companies actually get what digital moms are all about. (Think back to that all expenses paid trip to NYC I just went on.) Why do they get it? Because mothers are the ones spending the money and digital moms are the ones writing about where they spend it. And digital moms are not some untrained variety of advertisers, happy to plug any product for free stuff. These moms tell it how it is, the good, the bad and the ugly. Consumers are drawn to these women’s perspectives because they write well, they write from the heart and lots of people follow what they have to say.
But I do have to say this. The Today Show isn’t the only one scrambling to get it. As my friend Mary pointed out to me today, you have to be in it, to get it. And that is so true. I can’t tell you how many times my friends eyes glaze over when I talk about blogging. And I take no offense at all. Because writing and connecting and working online isn’t everyone’s bag. We all do our own thing, its all good.
But if you are a news source, wouldn’t you try a little harder to get it and not just piece together a cute story about what seems to be a new cyber hobby for bored moms?
So anyway, its only the start of a series. Maybe I have my panties in a bunch way too soon. I could be jumping the gun, this could be really great for all digital moms. Still, I did send a message to @todayshow on Twitter today asking them to consider attending the Blogher conference in Chicago. If they still don’t get it by the end of this series, that conference will set them straight. BlogHer represents the diversity, the smarts and the know how of real digital moms today. And it’s something to be reckoned with.
Well, I’ve had my say. I promise to stay tuned into the series. (Wendy aka @eMom will be on tomorrow. I was lucky enough to meet her at Seaworld. Go Wendy!) I will certainly post later in the week with my perspective once again. “Oh great”, I hear you groan.
I remember exactly where I was a year ago today. Brow sweaty and tense with insecurity, I was hunched over my old (now passed on) “shitty shitty bang bang ” PC. While I glared at that massive, yellowed monitor, my mind was overwhelmed with writing that simply needed out. I remember rethinking, questioning and toiling over that first blog post. (Groan.) Word by word, out it came. And then the transition moment arrived: I clicked publish. And it was done. My Morningside Mom weblog was born.
It was a girl, awkward and new. Posts stumbled over themselves, too long, too weird, falling flat on their face. She tried to grasp HTML and SEO concepts, but they slipped through her tiny fingers, infuriating her. But little by little, my girl got stronger. Every post became a little more confident. She even found her voice along the way and does a fairly decent job at using her words nicely. She is growing up.
And now look at her. Publishing posts without even a thought, actually entertaining folks in feed readers and jet-setting off to NYC with really nice people.
And one year old!
I am so proud. No I am. I never expected much from this whole thing. Simply a place to put my thoughts when all I did was “mommy” all day. Of course, I am more than a “mommy”. I love my children but a year ago today I felt it was high time I honored myself by speaking my mind a little more often. After all, before I was a mother I was a woman, a thinker, a leader, a wife, a sister, a kid, a women’s college grad, a political junkie, a hard worker, a talker and a friend. And this blog has allowed me to be all of these things once again while I “mommy” within the four walls of my home.
So Happy Birthday little one. You have so much more growing to do but what a change in one year.
Oh and both my blog and my readers should expect a birthday gift from me soon. An almost“grown up” blog deserves to actually look the part. I am working on updating and giving my girl a new look.
Stay posted – we’ll be able to tear the paper off this sucker and see what we got very soon.
So I am quite sure by now that I do in fact have a blogger guardian angel. No, I do. And I need to light a candle on her behalf every night and thank her for all she brings my way.
It should come as no surprise that I was glued to my television this morning. The Digital Moms series on the Today Show has me sucked in. After being somewhat disappointed by 
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